


Learning to live again

by tauriel777



Category: Lucas North - Fandom, Richard Armitage - Fandom, Spooks | MI-5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2018-12-18 00:55:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 53,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11863272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tauriel777/pseuds/tauriel777
Summary: This is my attempt to fix Lucas North's life-I never believed he could have turned on his country like that, but I also believe he came back a very damaged man and it would take him a long time to heal from being in prison for 8 years. He pretends everything is fine and he is back to normal, but he is really lonely. By chance he crosses paths with someone that might change his life forever and teach him how to truly live again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have picked the characters from the show that I wanted to be in this, so I know this doesn't follow the original story of who and when people died.  
> As always, I owned nothing and this is really just an excuse to write some smut featuring my favorite spy.

BEEP           BEEP            BEEP

Lucas groans and attempts to roll over to reach for his alarm, but then realizes he is actually not in his bed. 

He is on the floor.

Again.

He sits up, pawing for the alarm, finally shutting it off. He rubs his face and throws the covers to the side and slowly crawls up to sit on the edge of the bed. He looks at the clock *6:00*. Damn you, Ben!

Burying his face in his hands, he is seriously thinking about calling Ben and telling him to forget about it, it's too damn early. He reaches for his phone, but then puts it back down, reminding himself that he really should get up and it is good for him.

Rising to his feet with another groan, he finds his gym bag, sticking his hand in it, feeling for the clothes inside, but then nature calls. He trots in the bathroom to do his business, catching a glimpse of himself as he washes he hands. He must admit he likes what he sees. The last 8 months in the gym has paid off, he looks strong and healthy now, no more counting his ribs.

He shutters with the memory and hurries to get dressed. He grabs a banana and a protein shake from the fridge before reaching for his bag, making sure his work clothes is inside, before heading out the door.

He walks the few blocks to the gym, stuffing his things the locker and looking up as Ben comes walking in "morning".

"Morning to you too........sleep ok?". Lucas makes a gestures and Ben nods in understanding "sorry, man".

Ben Kaplan. Junior case officer at MI5 and now Lucas' friend. They hit it off right when he came home and Ben suggested they start working out together 8 months ago and it has grown into a genuine friendship. They do talk mostly work and will occasionally grab a bite to eat or go out for a pint after a long day. Ben admires Lucas and his ability to bounce back after spending 8 years in a Russian prison. They don't discuss that much, but Ben is aware that is wasn't exactly a beach vacation and that his friend still suffers from nightmares.

Lucas shrugs "it's my life I guess......how are you? How is the hangover or you didn't have any?".

"I'm good and no, didn't actually......I think sheet gymnastics is the cure for that" and he smirks.

"That good, huh?".

Ben looks blissfully happy "yeah" and then he slaps Lucas' arm "you should have taken her friend home, she was pretty much hanging on you".

Lucas makes a face "well...yeah.....I don't know......she wasn't my type I think" and goes to change the subject "ready?".

"Sure" and they hit the weights for the next 50 minutes, spotting each other and working up a good sweat.

Finishing, they head back to the lockers and the showers. Ben watches Lucas out of the corner of his eye, very aware that the other man very carefully navigates under the shower, taking care not to get his head under the spray, washing his lower body and the proceeds over to one of the sinks to finish washing is upper body and hair. 

Lucas's tattoos stand in stark contrast to his pale skin. Ben actually kind of likes them and remembers the day Lucas explained to him what each of them means. Ben looks around, making sure nobody else is in there with them and then wraps a towel around himself, walking over "sorry if this a bit personal, but why the shower routine?".

Catching the younger man's eyes in the mirror, Lucas lets out a sigh and then says quietly "I can't stand the water hitting my face....it's just...." and he trails off.

Thinking for a moment, Ben's eyes go big "they tortured you?".

Nodding, Lucas confirms "yeah....not a pleasant thing, I tell you...." and he leaves it at that, not wanting to elaborate.

Ben nods, touching his shoulder "I'm sorry".

"It's alright.......all part of my past life I'm afraid".

"Is that what the nightmares are about?".

"Mostly......".

Ben straightens up and looks at him "not about the people you have killed, the things you have done?".

Lucas answers straight away, with a firmness in his voice "never......I think once you start having trouble with that, it is time to resign......then this line of work is not for you......".

"Very true....I thought I would have trouble and replay what I have seen......and I think we all do to an extend, but not to the point that is bothers me......and I wonder if that makes me cold?".

"Not any colder than the rest of us working at MI5".

Nodding, Ben starts to dress and so does Lucas. They get ready for work and then head to Ben's tiny car to drive towards Thames House and the Grid.

They drive in silence for a a little bit, until Lucas blurts out "I'm scared".

Ben is totally caught off guard and glances at him "pardon me? I'm not following......".

Lucas looks down and then out the window, regretting he even opened his fat mouth, but now he has to deal with it "I'm scared to date....to be with anyone......".

"Ohh......sorry......" and he hesitates for a minute "I mean, you have slept with someone before, right? I mean....I think you told me you were married once......".

"I was.....a long time ago, didn't work out.....so yeah, I have been with women, but it honestly feels like a lifetime ago.......it has been more than 8 years.....".

Ben gives him a sympathetic look "yikes......that's a long time.......I gather no women in prison, huh?" and he lifts his hand "sorry, that was a stupid thing of me to say".

"It's alright.....don't sweat it" and he smiles sadly "but yeah, that would be a no.....and while the rumors of guys actually doing it with other guys just to get some, might be partly true......well, I was kept in solitary confinement for most of the time.....".

"Seriously?".

"Yeah and besides.....I don't think I would be into that anyway......".

Ben looks at him for a moment, before going back to the road "porn?".

Lucas lifts an eyebrow "now or in prison?".

"Uhmm....either....".

"Not in prison, you could get it if you made friends with the guards, but I honestly was just trying to survive, so not on my radar".

Ben is silent for a moment, choosing his words carefully "how are you even functioning, man?".

"Pardon?" and it is Lucas' turn to look confused.

"All those years in prison, alone....tortured and all that shit? How can you even get up and get your ass to work every day?".

"I guess because I feel so fucking grateful that I can! I had many days and night were I thought I would never see England again and come home, so now.....it feels in many ways like a gift, a second chance".

"I guess that makes sense, but wow.....you are amazing.....".

That sort of hangs in the air and they arrive and park at Thames House, talking the elevator up and walking into the Grid.

Lucas grabs a cup of coffee by the snack station, walking over to his desk, nodding to people along the way. 

There are a few holiday decorations around. Beth has put up a few under the scrutiny of Harry, who finally allowed it and Lucas must admit it is nice and gives him a warm feeling. This will be his first Christmas home since he came back, something that fills him both with joy and apprehension.

Tariq is at his desk, hammering away on the keyboard, Ruth and Ros are in deep conversation over by Ros' desk, looking at a couple of pieces of paper. He tosses his gym bag under his table and is about to take a seat.

"Morning, gym rats".

He looks up, being met by Beth's cheeky smile across the room "morning".

"You guys are really serious about this, aren't you?".

Ben plops down at his desk "well yeah, someone needs to keep in shape around here".

Beth tosses a pen at him "shut up! Are you saying I'm out of shape?".

"No, no......you outran me last week in the park when we had to catch the human trafficker bloke".

She smirks "exactly".

Lucas chuckles at the friendly banter and then something catches his eye. 

Harry Pierce is in his office, talking to someone who has her back turn to them. Dark haired woman, dressed very professionally and clearly talking very animated to Harry. He laughs as she puts her hand on his arm.

He wonders out loud "who's Harry talking to?".

Beth answers "no idea........but they have chatted for a while, they seem close".

Ben stands up to get a look and shakes his head "never seen her before either......Tariq?".

"No idea.....but she walked right in.....".

Lucas is still watching, a bit mesmerized by the woman and he can't help but notice how that black leather skirt fits so shapely around her behind. He shakes his head to snap out of it and looks wide eyed and a bit embarrassed, when Ros' voice cut through "you can stop drooling now, Lucas".

"Ehhh....I wasn't" and he tries not to blush as Ben lifts an eyebrow over Ros' shoulder.

She gives him a knowing smirk "yeah and I saw a pig fly outside coming to work.....".

Curiosity gets the best of him "who is she? Who is Harry talking to?".

Ruth interrupts "that would be Brooke Campbell....".

Lucas stares blankly at her "okay......that doesn't ring a bell".

"Likely not.......she hardly ever comes in anymore, not part of the service anymore, at least not officially".

"She used to be MI5?".

Shaking her head, Ruth is about to answer when Ros cuts in "no, she worked for the Circus".

Ben looks confused and Beth answers for him "MI6".

Nodding, Ruth continues "but that was a while ago.....she left and is now a shrink at a children's hospital most of the time"

Lucas is intrigued "is that how she knows Harry....from MI6?" and he glances over there again, seeing they are still engrossed in conversation "he seems to know her well".

Ros speaks up "sort of......her middle name is Cunningham......her father is John Cunningham".

A light bulb goes off in Lucas' head "the John Cunningham.....former Chief over there, retired now I believe?".

Ruth nods "that would be him and yes retired, raises Arabian horses out in the countryside.....him and Harry use to work close together, exchanging information if they had any" and she rolls her eyes "now it is like pulling teeth to get anyone over there to talk to us, unless they want something".

They all murmur their various degrees of agreement. 

Lucas's eyes go back to the glass into Harry's office, he almost can't help it. He is wrecking his brain to come up with something smart to say, but Ben saves him "so why is she here today? Just a friendly visit or is there something going on?".

"Good question.....Harry usually doesn't have friends" and she uses quotations marks with her hands "drop by, but exactly why she is here, we don't know".

Ruth announces "well, he wont tell you until he is ready, so maybe we should all go back to work or at least pretend we are working, huh?".

They all shuffle back to their desks, but Lucas finds himself unable to concentrate much at the tasks at hand.....several files are on his desk with notes on them. He stares at the paper, but his eyes keep wandering towards Harry's office. He feels someone staring at him and looks over at Beth, who is clearly smirking at him. He blushes and mouths to her "shut up". She sticks her tongue out at him and then returns to her computer screen. He chuckles to himself and then tries to return to work.

Eventually the door to Harry's office opens and he walks out with his visitor, kissing her on the cheek when she leaves. Ros walks over there and exchanges a few words with her too, gently squeezing Brooke's arm before they part, being rewarded with a smile.

Lucas is spellbound, she is absolutely stunning and then she is gone.

Everyone is watching and Harry becomes aware of the attention, gesturing "what?".

Ruth walks up with a file for him "I think everyone is curious about your very pretty visitor and why you display such affection......you are suppose to be a cold fish like the rest of us".

Harry bristles "I am most certainly not and I doubt any of you really are" and he gives Ruth a look that doesn't go unnoticed by anyone, they know what is up, but keep their mouths shut out of respect. He gestures "conference room".

The is a shuffle as everyone makes it in there and they take their seats, their attention focused on Harry as he stands at the end of the table. Clearing his throat "well, since you all are dying to know....that was Brooke Campbell, the daughter of one of my oldest and dearest friends.......", he looks around as he continues "yes, I have friends as hard as it might be to believe. Her father was one of the best intelligence offiers I have ever met in my life and we use to talk quite a bit", pause "sadly, as we all know......things have dried up a bit over there as far as sharing information". 

He walks around "anyway.....she still has contacts over there and came by to offer some information and don't ask me why the hell someone couldn't just pick up the damn phone and call me, it is not even a long distance call" and he gestures agitated. 

Ruth mumbles under her breath "blood pressure, Harry".

Stopping, he looks at her for moment "ehh...right......well, she told me that their agent was tracking a known terrorist in Yemen and they now believe the subject might have entered this country and his goal is to kidnap or take the Israeli Ambassador hostage, to try and force peace talks".

Ros "same old, same old, huh?".

Lucas pipes up "do we have a name?".

Harry shakes his head "unfortunately no, not at the moment......this was given to Miss Campbell in a hurry, but she was going to see what more info she would get. The Circus clearly has it, since they were tracking the bloke.....she just wanted to give me a heads up and maybe I can try to actually call someone over there".

Sounding concerned, Lucas lifts a hand "wont that cause Miss Campbell harm?".

Beth grins, Ben raises an eyebrow and even Ros looks at Lucas funny. Harry's mouth twitches "well, I don't know when you were assigned to be her protector, Lucas, but it is certainly very gentleman of you....believe me, you are not the first man that has wanted to protect her 24/7, Brooke has that effect on people, but she is quite capable on her own and no, she would not get in trouble......it actually sounds like they want us to know" and he rolls his eyes "likely so they can push the problem onto us.....I swear they sometimes wish they could buy all the bad guys in the world, a plane ticket to the UK and then hand it all to us, so they can sit back and not deal with it". 

Lucas ignores Harry's comment, praying he is not turning pink as he tries to keep his voice normal "so what do you want us to do right now?".

Harry calls out assignments and they all go to work on it for the rest of the day, without much luck. Tariq takes everyone's Chinese food order for lunch and they all keep working, trying to find the one needle in the haystack.

Finally Beth announces she is off to her movie night, Tariq leaves for soccer practice with the league he plays in and Ben calls to take the girl he spend the weekend with, out on another date.

Lucas looks at him with a tiny bit of envy "so wining and dining her, huh?".

"Nah, just a quick meal, we both have to work tomorrow.......you alright getting home?".

Waving his hand, Lucas nods "yeah, I can walk or take the metro......have a good night" and he wiggles an eyebrow "don't stay up all night".

"I wont" and Ben leaves with a smirk.

The Grid is slowly emptying out. Harry and Ruth announce they are going for dinner, offering Lucas and Ros to join, but they both decline.

It is quiet, just the humming from servers can be heard and then shuffling of papers. Lucas sighs and gets up "I'm going to spread out in the conference room with this" and he grabs the stack of files, heading in there.

Ros joins him a few minutes later and they spend another hour flipping through files. 

Nothing.

Lucas leans back, stretching "well, I guess it is one of those days where nothing connects....".

"Yeah, I guess" and Ros looks at him with curiosity "you were really taken by Miss Campbell today, huh?".

He is about to protest, but sees the look in her eyes. He raises his hands in defeat "ok yeah...fine....I'll admit it... yes I was" and then he gets a confused look on his face "I don't know what it is about her".

"I do...." and she hesitates for a moment "she is just a very special person.......and everyone can feel that".

Learning forward, he studies her face "if you don't mind me asking.....how well do you really know her.......I saw you talking to her, you touched her arm and no offense, but you are not a very touchy feely person".

She nods "none taken......cold fish is the reputation, I know.......". She takes a deep breath and looks him directly in the eyes "after Jo was killed.....by me...". Lucas moves his head in silent understanding as she continues "I had a very hard time.......I hid it well, but as you know, you can't hide much from Harry....I couldn't sleep, had nightmares......". Ros looks at her hands.

Lucas says softly "it's ok, I understand.....".

"Well, I saw the regular counselors we have at our disposal here and it helped a little bit, but not enough.....I felt they....".

He finishes the sentence for her "they just said what they thought you wanted to hear, not what you needed to hear.....they mean well, but....".

Her face lights up "yeah, exactly...........but anyway, I was still struggling.....Harry called Brooke and she invited me over as a favor to her father's friend or at least that is what I thought. But it turns out, Brooke actually really cares and I don't know what exactly she did, but she said some things to me that shifted my outlook and it is better, lots better" and Ros goes quiet for a bit, then adding "I owe her a lot".

"So what does she actually do for a living?".

"She works with severely injured or sick children at several hospitals around London, counsels them and their parents, guiding them through some life altering stuff.....her base is a St. Marks".

"Wow......she sounds remarkable....." and he lets his thoughts wander a bit.

"She is......Harry is very fond of her as you saw.....".

Thinking out loud, Lucas says hopelessly "and spoken for, I take it?".

Ros looks at him in surprise "well, that I don't know......she didn't talk much about herself, she made it about me". She pauses "and yeah, if you look her up in the system...and yes I did.....you get paranoid around here....it doesn't give you much information".

Lucas snorts "well, just the fact that Harry is so fond of her, that should be enough to keep me or anyone else away.....".

"What do you mean?".

"I wouldn't want to try to get past his approval.....he almost looked like an overprotective father with her today....".

Ros laughs "Harry is a lot more easy going than you give him credit for.......think about it.......how many times has he bend the rules or looked away, so we could do our jobs and do what was the right thing to do?".

"True, but still...." and Lucas thinks for a minute, before he continues "if...and I'm saying if, I ever date anyone ever again, I wouldn't want Harry to be the one breathing down my neck and scrutinize every move I make".

"So there hasn't been anyone since Russia?", she looks surprised.

He shakes his head "no.....", his eyes shifts down and then back at her, displaying a mixture of sadness and frustration "I don't know.....it's just so hard.....it has been a long time", his voice trailing off.

"Oh don't feel bad......it would be hard and being in this job certainly makes it even harder......you either end up dating another spy or lying through your teeth every damn day........not sure which is worse".

He laughs "I know....".

"But I wouldn't worry, Lucas......Harry adores you and just want you to be happy......he will never get over the price you paid all those years".

"It wasn't his fault........".

"Maybe not, but that't the thing about Harry.....he cares.....".

"He does......more than most bosses out there".

Ros' phone beeps, she glances down at it "shit".

"Something wrong?".

"No, I just totally forgot I had a yoga session scheduled tonight".

Lucas looks amused "yoga, you?".

"Why is that so hard to believe?".

"I ...I don't know.....I would think you are more of a martial arts type...".

"Balance, Lucas.......that's the key...." and she gets up "need a hand?", motioning to the files.

"No, go ahead.....go find balance in your life....I'll get it.......g'night".

"See you tomorrow" and she heads out.

He leans back in his chair, sighing, rubbing his eyes and glances at his watch, he really should get out of here too. Standing up, he gathers all the files, closing them and stacking them, taking them back to his desk. He is about to grab his coat to leave, but then sits back down, logging into the network. He looks around, and then types *Brooke Campbell* into the search engine.

The file pops up on the screen and he scoots closer, reading every word and then looks surprised, when he comes to the spouse section, it is marked over with *classified*.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning:

Lucas drags himself out of bed....it was another half rested night, but not because of nightmares. His brain kept going over the information he had seen in Brooke Campbell's file right before he left work. Damn her! He was very intrigued.

He downs a protein shake before he heads to the gym, but after waiting for Ben for 10 minutes, he finally starts his workout without him. He runs on the treadmill, watching BBC news, concentrating on setting a good pace, keeping his breathing deep and even,

Ben finally joins him jumping on the machine next to him "hey, sorry for being late........".

"It's alright......late night?" and Lucas looks at him.

"Nah....not really....." and Ben actually lowers his eyes, which Lucas finds very interesting.

"What then? Come on....out with it, you owe me since I had to start on my own....".

Lifting a hand in defeat, Ben sighs as he picks up his pace "fine.....you asked........she wanted another round this morning...".

Lucas groans and waves his hands "oh god.....please stop.......too much information".

"Well, you asked".

"True" and they run for another 30 minutes before slowing down to a trot.

 

I glance at my phone walking into the gym, right on time. I look around since it is my first time here, but then spot my friend, Annabel inside the glass enclosed studio over to the side. She waves and I enter, running over to give her a hug "hey......I'm here".

"Brookie! I'm so happy you made it....".

Several more people trickle in and she takes her position in the front and we get started on our yoga class. I love every minute of it and make a mental note to commit myself to this 3 times a week.

 

Ben and Lucas get off the tread mills and are walking back towards the locker rooms. Ben nudges him "hey look......that's new....I don't think they have been in there before" and they both watch all the people in the studio.

"I don't think so either, but I did see a sign for some new yoga thing they were starting" and Lucas rolls his eyes.

"Oh yeah?".

"Yeah, not my thing I tell you....I would need to see the chiropractor for weeks if I had to bend like that", but he can't help but stare a bit when they get closer. He lets out a small laugh "did you know Ros is into that shit too?".

Ben stops "really?".

"Yeah she told me last night, she forgot she had a class".

"I don't hardly know anything personal about her.....just like everyone else, really.....except Beth, she is an open book and you".

Lucas nods "I agree....I do know that Ros had a relationship with Adam Carter, but not sure what happened there.....". They don't realize it, but they have stopped in front of the glass and are just watching. The instructor lifts an eyebrow at them, which makes Lucas cringe and he elbows Ben "hey, we better go.....she just noticed".

"Okay yeah...." and Ben is slowly following Lucas.

"Come on, Ben......you already have a woman....stop staring".

"I know.....sorry...", but he he reaches for Lucas' arm, yanking him back "look.....is that Brooke Campbell that was in Harry's office yesterday? Over there in the grey pants and the pink sports bra".

Lucas stops and zeros in, his mouth going dry when he sees her, her yoga clothes leaving little to the imagination. He croaks, pulling on Ben "yep, that's her....but we better go man or the instructor will call the police....do you want to explain to Harry why we got arrested for ogling women at a yoga class?".

"Shit no" and they leave in a hurry. Lucas reeling from some odd feeling that is stirring something deep inside of him. A distant memory of desire.

 

Annabel finishes our class, we are all laying on our mats and breathing deeply, listening to her voice "and ouuut.......there you go....congrats of surviving your first class here. Thanks for coming, hope you see you next time".

Everyone gets up and gather their stuff. I take a sip of my water and go over to her "that was totally awesome, I will come again".

She smiles "thanks....it was fun" and then she motions towards the glass "except we had two creeper guys staring at us for a few minutes".

I look over there "really?".

"Yeah, but I gave them the eye....one of them made a face and dragged the other one away, it was kind of funny....".

"People are weirdos, I tell you".

She laughs "well, you of all people should know that, you study their brains...".

"Sort of I guess, but remember most of my patients are kids that have gone through some major trauma".

She nudges my arm "hey! That's them, the peeping toms".

I look to see two guys quickly walking past outside. One pokes the other and he looks in, our eyes meeting for a second, before he looks away and they pick up the pace, him clearly saying something to the other. I just get a brief glimpse of him, but he looks very handsome even from afar, there is something about him. I watch them walk towards the exit, both carrying gym bags.

Turning to Annabel, I smile "I don't think they are dangerous, I didn't get creeper vibes from either of them. The one that looked in, seemed mortified we caught him looking".

"Probably......I'll ask up front and see what they can tell me".

"Ok...." and we part ways. I go shower and get dressed to go to work.

As I leave, Annabel catches me "hey.....so I talked to the girl working in the front, she says they come in every morning before work and have been here for at least 8 months, they don't bother anyone. She also seemed really taken by one of them........I think she said his name is Lucas North, he is the one that looked, the one that locked eyes with you".

My eyes shoot up when I hear that name "that's Lucas North?".

"You know him?".

"I do.....well sort of, I know of him, but I've never met him......".

"Who is he?".

My training kicks in and I just say casually "oh just someone from a long time ago" and I smile "anyway, I gotta run......thank you....".

"See you soon, Brooke".

I head to work and walk into the hospital, saying hi to a few people along the way, grabbing some coffee in the lunch room and then entering my office. I drop my bag in the corner and open the blinds, it is out to the courtyard. I turn on my computer and sit down, sipping my coffee and logging into my email.

RING    RING    RING

Looking at my cell on the desk, I see *Uncle Harry* blinking on my screen and pick it up "Brooke Campbell".

 

A little while earlier:

Ben and Lucas are in headed to work in Ben's car. They sit in silence for a while, but then Lucas blurts out "they saw us!".

"What are you talking about?".

"Brooke Campbell and that instructor, they saw when we walked out".

His eyes darting to Lucas before quickly going back to the road, Ben shrugs "so? I don't think it is a big deal......we weren't doing anything.....not like we were wanking off while watching them" and he smirks.

"Bloody hell, Ben.....is your mind always in the gutter while you are not at work?", but Lucas swallows and his mind does wander a bit.....but he forces himself to think of something else as he feels, to his own surprise, his body reacting to the thoughts that was creeping in. He shifts in his seat.

"No, not always......but I tell you....this girl, Lisa.....she sure takes you to the gutter".

"Alright, enough! I don't want to hear about it, okay? But I'm happy for you......happy you are getting laid" and he slaps Ben's shoulder.

"Me too......." and he grins while Lucas just shakes his head, muttering "kids".

They arrive at the Grid and as soon as they enter, they feel the tension, their mood shifting and they kick into work mode.

Lucas grabs coffee as Ros comes to refill her cup "how was yoga?".

"It was fine, thanks....find anything else?".

Shaking his head, he stirs the creme in the coffee "nope, sadly not...I left shortly after you did actually". He looks as Ruth brings Harry a couple of files and Lucas looks at Ros "what's going on? You can cut the tension in here with a knife at the moment".

"We have a diplomatic crisis......someone has kidnapped a boy and his nanny, he is the son of a Saudi business man, we think they witnessed some transaction they weren't suppose to see.....the Saudi's are freaking out and are demanding we go public, which of course we wont do.....not unless we are out of options".

"What? What are we doing.....why are we just standing around?".

She smiles, patting his arm "we are not just standing around......conference room in 10 minutes.....Harry is trying to get more info, calm the home Secretary, the Saudi's and all that good stuff".

Lucas walks towards his desk next to her "you could not pay me enough to do his job ever, yikes!".

He logs in and then realizes he didn't close the window from last night, the file of Brooke Campbell pops back up. He hurries and shuts it down, looking up and seeing that Beth is watching him. He tries to smile, but fails.

"You alright, Lucas?".

Coughing and reaching for his coffee he croaks out "yeah, yeah......why?".

"You just looked like you saw a ghost".

"No I'm fine....".

He checks messages and then anxiously just watches the clock, it's hard when he knows there is work to do.

Finally Harry exits his office, announcing "conference room.....Tariq, keep looking".

They all shuffle in there, taking their seats. 

Harry gives a quick run down on where they stand at the moment, everyone paying attention and watching the graphics as the come up on the screen. Harry seems even more tense than usually "now....we hope Tariq can find the car they left in on video surveillance, so at least we can get an idea of where they are headed......we need to get this resolved, peacefully if we can" and he takes a deep breath, looking gloom "I don't have to remind you that we have a small child involved, which makes this even more complicated and we need to know what they might have seen.....small children are unpredictable and also delicate....therefor I have asked someone to be on standby to talk to him as soon as we can secure his release". Looking out, he lights up "and here she is, punctual as always...". 

He walks over to open the door "Brooke Campbell.......thanks for coming......please come meet my team".

Lucas and Ben look at each other, Ben is amused, but Lucas looks like he might have a stroke. 

I step in, shaking Harry's hand, giving him a smile "well, you know me....if I can help a child".

"I know" and he gestures "my people....I think you know Ros and Ruth of course.....over here is Beth Bailey, Ben Kaplan and Lucas North".

Making the round to shake hands with everyone. I get to Ben and Lucas. I take Ben's hand and smile "the peeping toms from earlier".

Ben grins and Lucas reaches for my hand as soon as Ben lets go, saying quietly "we can explain....." and then loudly, maybe a little too loud "it's a pleasure to meet you Miss Campbell".

"Just call me Brooke" and I feel like I got struck by lightening as our hands meet, his palm warm as he wraps his fingers around mine.

"Brooke it is" and he smiles, his eyes meeting mine. He has beautiful blue eyes and I'm taken back a little.

Beth breaks the spell "peeping toms?" and she lifts an eyebrow.

I brush it off "ohh, just an internal joke...." and I reluctantly let go of Lucas's hand, motioning to Harry "sorry for interrupting.....please proceed".

"Okay.....right....thanks Brooke...." and he goes on as I take a seat next to Lucas on the end, crossing my legs and totally unaware that he is staring as my skirt rides up my thigh.

Harry and Ros lay out different scenarios, but then Tariq comes running in "I found the car......it is parked in front of a row of houses on the South East side of town......". People scramble to their feet and Ros barks out orders "Lucas and Ben, get over there.....Beth come with me.....we are going back to the Saudi's to chat, to see if we can figure out what this is all about......Tariq, monitor the camera and keep us posted if anything happens". She looks at me "Ruth will take you to the safe house, so we can hopefully bring the boy there along with his nanny..... his mother can meet them there".

I nod and Lucas turns around before he leaves, coming back, locking eyes with me "I just want to apologize for earlier....we didn't..".

Cutting him off, I touch his arm "don't worry about it.....just go.....I wasn't offended".

He is about to say something else, but Ben calls out "Lucas, come on!". They run out of there.

I turn to Ruth and Harry "just give me the keys and the address, I got it....I think you are both needed here".

Harry looks at me "you sure?".

I lift an eyebrow at him "yes, I am sure.....I think you forget where I use to work, I have been to a safe house before".

"I'm sorry, Brooke....I know you have, I just" and he hesitates "I just worry.....".

"I'm fine", rolling my eyes "between you and my father...I swear".

"We can't help it", giving me a serious look "we all know how dangerous this world really can be and we try to protect those we love....", he lower his eyes "and when we fail to do that...".

I know what he is referring to "Daniel knew that danger too, Harry and so did I.......it is part of working for the intelligence services, here or abroad".

He puts his hand on my arm, saying softly "it is.....".

Ruth comes back, handing me a key "here and some money.....I had someone check and there isn't exactly any kid friendly canned food at the place, so if you don't mind?".

"I don't.....thank you.....".

Harry tries to smile "no thank you, Brooke, you didn't have to do this.....".

"Yes, I do.......that's my calling in life, to help children, just like yours is keeping us safe" and I say good bye to them both.

Ruth watches me leave and then turns to Harry "he likes her, Harry".

"What......who? What are you talking about, Ruth?".

"Lucas.......he is taken by Brooke, I watched him today, he could not take his eyes off her when she came in".

"Well, at lot of men have that reaction I gather....I remember lots of pouty faces when she married Daniel.....".

"Is she seeing anyone now?".

Harry is looking at a paper, but still speaking "no....well, not that I am aware of......but she never tells me or her father anything anyway, she marches to her own beat, always has and probably always will".

Ruth smiles "just like Lucas then.....".

Taken back by her statement, he thinks for a minute "perhaps.....".

"Is Lucas seeing anyone?".

Harry sounds offended "I don't know.....that's none of my business.....Ben might know, they do spend a lot of time together".

"I shall ask him then" and she chuckles when she sees Harry's face "oh come on, Harry.....office gossip is everywhere, even here at the Grid......".

"I suppose.....I do know that there is someone at the CIA, that is very interested in Lucas....".

Ruth's eyes shoot up "there is?" and then the light bulbs goes off "that dreadful, annoying blond......Sarah Caulfield".

"Yep, that would be the one.....she calls and pesters me about him, trying to get on any case with him" and he shakes his head "don't worry, I wouldn't do that to Lucas.....he has suffered enough".

"How would you feel if he started seeing Brooke?".

"I don't know........", thinking for a minute "I care for them both deeply......" and he is about to say something else, but Tariq yells from the main room "Harry......Ben and Lucas are by the van".

Harry and Ruth hurries out to watch and listen to the unfolding drama.

 

I stop at my office back at the hospital to get a few items and then hit the store for some more eatable food than the canned variety. I get to the safe house, which turns out to be a fairly nice apartment in a new complex. I put the groceries away and look around. It is small, has one bedroom, a nice bathroom down the hall and then a bigger kitchen, dining and living room area. The big windows overlook part of London.

Reaching for my cell, I make sure it is on and then take my laptop out, answering a few emails, waiting to hear anything.

My phone finally rings a couple of hours later, I reach for it "Brooke Campbell".

"It's Harry....we got the boy, he is safe....Lucas is bringing him over now.....Ben is staying behind to clean up, Ros and Beth are there now too".

"Ok.....and the nanny?".

"She was killed during the rescue mission....".

I make some sympathetic noise.

"Ros or someone will retrieve his mother and bring her....we are still trying to figure out exactly what happened, so stay put there until you hear anything else, ok?".

"Got it, Harry".

We hang up and I go in the bedroom, making sure it looks inviting.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK   "Brooke, it's Lucas".

I hurry and open the door and he comes in quickly closing it behind him. He is carrying a sleeping 5 year old. He puts his finger over his lips and I nod, pointing to the bedroom and Lucas puts him down on the bed, covering him up. 

He leaves the door open by a crack and then follows me in the main room, talking quietly "he fell asleep as soon as I got him in the car......I think they kept them awake all night and then all this happened", the action displaying on his face as he relives the last hour of events. 

I motion for a chair by the kitchen bar "drink?".

"Just water, please" and he plops down on the chair, taking the glass from me with a thankful nod. I continue to speak "Harry called me.....he told me about the nanny........I'm sorry".

"It all went to hell......we thought there were only two kidnappers, but a third was hiding.....he shot her" and he looks at me "in front of the boy".

"Oh god".

"I know....." and then he winces, the adrenaline wearing off.

"What? What is it?".

He sheds his jacket, seeing the frayed fabric under the arm. I can't help but admire the way his dress shirt fits over his upper body. He tries to look behind him, feeling up his back "I don't know...it burns".

I walk over to him "get up....turn around" and then I see the blood on his shirt "you're bleeding".

"What? Really? and he tries to see.

"Take off your shirt".

He hesitates for a moment, but see the look in my eyes. He sighs and then quickly removes it.

I'm stunned for a second, when all his tattoos come into view, but then focus back on the issue. He has a grazing bullet wound on his right side, below his shoulder blade, on his back.

"You got shot".

"I did?".

I reach out to touch his back, right above it "right below here". He makes a face and I pull my hand away "sorry".

"No, no.......it's alright, the adrenaline is wearing off and I guess my body can feel it now".

"Well, it needs to be cleaned or maybe you need to go to the hospital".

"Can you clean it? I really hate hospitals.....".

"I can try, if you don't mind...".

"I don't or wouldn't have asked.....there should be a medical kit under the sink".

Retrieving it, I open it up and sit down on the stool next to him, getting a closer look at the wound "it could've been worse".

"I'm sure" and he hisses when I pour the antibiotic solution on it.

"Sorry.......".

"It's alright.......no pain, no gain, right?".

"I guess so...." and I work on putting creme on it and then covering it with a gauze, taping it all to his back.

The silence hangs in the air as I work.

He finally breaks it "I got these while I was in prison.....in Russia.....it is part of the culture there, if you don't get them, you don't survive......I was there for".

I touch his back, around the wound and cut him off "8 years....I know, Lucas.....you don't need to explain nor to you owe it to me" and I get down from the chair, handing him his shirt back "all done....".

Our eyes meet "you know? How?".

Leaning on the counter, I look at him "I use to work for MI6, my father was the director once....".

He waves his hand "I know.....John Cunningham is your father".

"Ok, lets cut to the chase here shall we....you tell me what you know and I'll tell you what I know".

"Alright......", he looks amused "I must confess, I pulled up your info from the data base last night.....".

"I knew it!", but I smile at him.

He returns it "well, I am a spy......".

"Once a spy, always a spy.....I have known about you since you got captured in Russia....Harry is close with my dad, I was at MI6 for a time, people talk........".

Sounding curious, he takes another sip of his water "did you read my file?".

Fighting an internal battle, I finally confess "yes.......a while ago, after you got back....don't ask me how and why.....I don't normally have access to that kind of stuff anymore".

He is about to say something else, but the child lets out a scream and then starts to cry in the other room. We both rush in there and I couch down by the bed, reaching for him "hi...I'm Brooke......remember your friend, Lucas?".

Lucas kneels next to me, putting on a friendly face "hey Paul, did you have a good nap?".

Paul nods, then looks around "I want my mummy! Or Nanna".

I shake my head, when Lucas' questioning eyes meet mine and he reaches a hand out to Paul "I know you do, she will be here soon.....we have to make sure the bad people can't hurt anyone else, ok?".

"Okay" and then terror washes over Paul's face and he starts to cry again, hard.....sopping.

Lucas looks at me in total bewilderment, but I scoop Paul into my arms, hugging him tight on the bed. He clings to me, crying his little heart out. I stroke his back "it's alright....do you remember bad things?".

His little body is shaking as he nods and cries some more.

KNOCK          KNOCK            KNOCK       "Lucas, it's Ros and Beth".

I look at him "go, but close the door.....he needs some time".

Lucas gets off the floor, nods and then lightly touch my shoulder "ok.....i'm here if you need anything, ok?".

 

He goes out to let them in, leading them in the bigger room. He turns to face them "Paul just woke up, fell asleep when I put him in the car......he is crying and upset, I think he remembers things....Brooke is calming him down.......what's going on?".

Beth has been looking around and so has Ros, she points to the counter in the kitchen "first....did you get hurt......Ben said there was a lot of gun fire.....forensics are still working the site".

"It's just superficial......Brooke patched it up" and that earns him a smirk from Beth, which he notices "oh shut up.....nothing romantic or sexual about it, I promise..."

"But you wish there was" and then Beth's sees the look on Ros' face, snapping back into work mode "sorry".

"Anyway......Paul's parents are angry, the mother is very upset, but dad acted more like he was pissed off.........so we have separated them and will spend some time having some friendly chats with them......Tariq is digging and it looks like maybe dad has sold some weapons to a terror group........we are not certain yet, so we wont be bringing mom until we are sure she has nothing to do with it....we even sent a team out to chat with her folks, she is British, her parents live in Kent, so you stay here, Lucas" and she lifts her hand when he is about to protest "no, don't argue with me......you got shot for heaven's sake.......stay here, we will keep you posted, but don't expect anything until tomorrow....given how late it already is".

"Is Ben ok?".

"He is fine, he escorted Paul's dad back to the nice cellar at the Grid".

"Ok, keep me posted......".

"We will" and Ros turns to leave.

Beth leans over and whispers "have fun".

He makes a face at her and let them out the door. Carefully opening the door to the bedroom, he peaks in.

I'm on the floor with Paul, reading him a story. We both look up, Paul giving Lucas a small smile "who was that?".

"Just a couple of my friends....they have gone now".

"I want my mum!".

Seeing the ever so slight shake from Lucas, I cradle Paul, saying softly to him "I know you do, darling......but we need to make sure she is safe from the bad people, so it might be a little while, but we are here......nothing bad will happen to you, ok?".

"Ok..." and he turns his head and looks up at me "I'm hungry".

"Oh really.....should we go see if we can find some food to eat?".

"Yeah" and he happily gets up and runs ahead to the kitchen. Lucas quickly fills me in, standing really close to me, I can almost feel his breath on my ear. I turn to talk quietly back to him, his body heat radiating "ok....we will just have to keep him occupied......kids are resilient.........and he is still exhausted".

He nods, touching my arm briefly "I think we can do that, but I hope you bought something or there are cans....".

"I did..." and we walk out there and Paul already has the fridge open, looking in it. We find him a juice box and then Lucas lures him over on the couch to watch some cartoons while I start making dinner out of things I bought.

Lucas takes a seat by the counter "can I help you?".

"No, I got it...thanks....".

"What are you making?".

"Macaroni and cheese.....most kids and some adults like that.......".

He smiles "my mum use to make that for me when I came home from school".

"Mine did too....no matter where we lived in the world".

Nodding, he grabs a piece of the cheese I am cutting, eating it "yeah, you sure moved around a lot growing up".

"My dad was in the service, that's what we did.......it was fine, but it is also nice to have roots, you know".

"I know.....or at least I use to know......lived in the same village all my childhood, then I joined MI5 and then you are just as rootless as anyone, I think.....".

"To a point, I guess....." and I chopped the onion and garlic while the pasta is cooking.

Dropping the vegetables in the pot with some butter, I stir it as it starts to sizzle.

"Butter, huh?".

"Yep, that's why I have to do yoga or something".

He blushes and gestures "yeah, about that.....I'm really sorry, we weren't staring, I promise".

"It's ok.....I'm not mad and I don't think you were either, it was just funny and when we caught you looking as you left, your face said it all"

"Embarrassed.....mortified....".

"Pretty much".

"But I do apologize, Brooke....I'm not some creeper....".

I reach across the counter, laying my hand on top of his "Lucas....let it go....so not a big deal and I know you are not a creeper, trust me".

He turns his hand over, his finger lightly touching mine and he looks at me with puppy eyes "thank you.....".

Our fingers stay connected for a few seconds longer and then the timer beeps, letting me know the pasta is done. He pulls away, giving me a shy smile.

The pasta gets drained and I quickly make the sauce, combining the two and then putting it in the oven.

Paul is still happily watching cartoons, so I sit down next to Lucas "hungry?".

"Yeah, I guess.......I think I had coffee when we had the meeting.....that feels like a lifetime ago......". He glances over at Paul and then back at me, saying quietly "will he be ok?".

"He should be......he is young and once he is back in his own environment and routine.....".

"Good" and he hesitates, which I notice.

"What, Lucas?".

"Its none of my business and you are under no obligation to answer......why does it say *classified* under your spouse?".

"You looked to see if I was married?".

He blushes a deeper shade of pink "yeah...".

"Well, I was......he was killed during a black ops mission in Afghanistan....that's why it says classified........I don't even know exactly what happened, other than he was killed instantly, didn't suffer......".

Lucas instinctively reaches for my hand "I'm so sorry......I shouldn't have asked......I".

I turn my hand over, wrapping my fingers around his "it's alright....you didn't know.........my dad has read the report and I don't really want to know to tell you the truth".

"How many years ago was that?".

"3 years......but honestly feels like a lifetime ago......", our eyes meeting "and I don't know why I am telling you this, but there has been no one since then......".

He blurts out "I haven't been with anyone either" and then he realizes how that came out, he coughs and stammers "I..I mean....fu...I mean....." and he just throws his hand sup in the air "I give up.....".

I just start to laugh and put my hand on his shoulder and then he can't help but chuckle too.

Deeply embarrassed, he mumbles "I'm totally out of practice with this stuff..." and then says in a serious tone "as you can tell, I obviously haven't talked to any females since I came home from Russia....well, besides the ones I work with or have to talk to......ehhh, I mean.....I haven't talk to anyone I was attracted to?".

"You are attracted to me?".

"Very much so, Brooke.....I don't know what it is....but ever since I saw you in Harry's office yesterday".

"That's very sweet, Lucas.....".

"I don't want you to feel weird about it...I'm not going to stalk you, I promise".

The oven beeps and I get up, leaning close to his ear "well, I actually wouldn't object to that...." and I walk over to get the pan out.

He looks at me, but I just smile and he grins back as I hand him plates for the table. 

We call Paul over, who shuts off the TV with a whine, but then happily digs into the food on the plate. He chows down, saying in between bites "this is very good, better than my mum's...".

Lucas nods and smiles at me across the table "yes it is, tastes like my mum's".

After dinner, we clean up and I read Paul a story before he falls asleep for the night.

I come back in the big room and Lucas has made the couch and pushed the two lounging chairs together. He gestures, looking tired himself "you take the couch....I'll be in the chairs".

"No, you take the couch.....you are bigger than me...that wont be comfortable".

"Please don't argue with me, Brooke......and trust me, those chairs are a lot better than some nights on a floor in a Russian prison".

That certainly shuts me up and we take turns brushing our teeth and then get ready for bed. I change into a loose t-shirt and sweatpants. I lay down as he makes a round in the apartment, making sure the door is locked and shutting off the light, leaving the one in the hall on, in case Paul wakes up. He just loosens his belt and unbuttons the top of his shirt, before settling into the chairs, not looking too comfortable. 

Our eyes meet in the dim light "I'm fine, Brooke.....get some rest.....it has been a long day".

"Goodnight, Lucas......sleep tight".

"You too" and he is out almost as soon as he closes his eyes.

Watching him sleep, I can't help but feel warm inside......he is very handsome and I'm very attracted to him. I close my eyes and soon asleep too.

 

A few hours later:

"NOOOOO..........PLEASE NOOO, NOOO, NOOOOOO!!!!!".

I wake with a jolt as Lucas' terrified voice pierces the air with a scream.

 


	3. Chapter 3

I jump from the couch and run over to Lucas as he trashes in the chair. I need to calm him down before he wakes Paul and causes more issues. I grab his arm, but he yanks it away intantly, he is a lot stronger than me.

"NOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME! PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME!".

"Lucas! Wake up! You are having a nightmare!" and I shake his arm and touches his shoulder. He swings around and hits me, making me fall to the ground. "LUCAS!".

He bolts up, looking around "what?" and his eyes find me "why are you on the ground?". Training kicks in and he jumps up, reaching for his gun tucked under the cushion "is someone here?".

"No....nobody is here...", I take his outstretched hand and get back on my feet. Our eyes meet in the dim light from the hallway "you were having a nightmare....you were screaming".

"I was?".

"Yes....you ok?" and I reach out to touch his arm.

Rubbing his face, he thinks for a minute and I can tell his memory gets jolted, his face gives him away, even if he doesn't express it in words "yeah....I'm fine, I'm sorry if I woke you up and scared you".

"It's fine...I was more worried about Pa..".

"BROOKE!"

The voice sounds terrified in the other room.

Lucas looks at me "shit......I'm sorry".

"Don't worry about it...get some rest...I think you need it" and I start to head towards Paul's room to comfort him.

I feel Lucas' fingers grab my arm "wait..." and he gestures as I turn to face him "di...did I hit you?".

Contemplating if I should lie, I sigh "yes...but you were terrified......it's not a big deal....".

He buries his head in his hands "oh god, I'm sorry....".

"Don't worry about it.....".

"BROOKE!!".

"Paul, I'll be right there, honey".

The mood in the room changes and I can tell Lucas is shutting down emotionally, walls me off and he says rather testily "I think that is for me to decide, if it is a big deal or not.....".

I just nod, knowing he is not going to listen to any reasoning right now and I leave the room to tend to Paul, ending up spending the rest of the night with him. He is very upset and needy, cries on and off, it is exhausting.

Lucas never checks in on us, but I can hear he is out there, not sleeping much either, but wandering back and forth.

Paul finally falls back asleep and I must have dozed off too, because when I wake back up, the light is shining through the curtains of the window. I get up, yawn and stretch, looking at Paul still curled up and sleeping. I walk out of the room and into the big one, seeing Beth sitting at the bar.

She smiles "morning....".

"Morning.......sorry, must have dozed off, what time is it?" and looking around "where is Lucas?",

"It's alright, Lucas said Paul had a very rough night, crying and being fuzzy.....he said you needed to just be left alone to rest, he sounded concerned....it's almost 9...and he left to go back to the Grid, get filled in on the case and then he looked like he needed rest too".

I reach for the coffee, grateful the machine is blinking red. I fill my cup, talking over my shoulder "he does......don't think he got much sleep either and yes, Paul was very upset".

"Poor kid".

Turning, I look at her as I lean on the counter "so was is going to happen to him? I think he is not going to say much right now, he is too upset".

She waves her hand "he is fine, actually doesn't need to say anything.......Ros and I worked on dad yesterday and got him to spill the beans......he is going to prison for a long while....still checking on mom, but so far it looks like she had no idea, so Paul can go with her as soon as he wakes up and is ready.......they are going to her folks house for a while, their home is still a crime scene and I'm not sure they should go back there anyway".

I nod "I agree, I think he needs a fresh new start....his grandparents place sounds like a good beginning" and I go retrieve my phone "I need to contact my regular job and tell them to not expect me until tomorrow. I'll stay with Paul until we can hand him over and then take the rest of the day to recover and rest..", I sort of chuckle "I'm getting too old for this kind of work...".

"Yeah, I hear you worked for the Circus for a while, how was it?" and she looks interested.

"It was good......just like your job I imagine, not a day is ever the same and that is what is part of the attraction, isn't it? No time to get bored".

"Very true.......what made you get out, if you don't mind me asking".

"A lot of different things, but mainly so I could settle and actually go home to the same place every night, sort of know what the next week of my life looked like".

"You wanted roots".

"Exactly and just to be *normal* for once......not having to lie about what I do......and we moved around a lot my entire childhood, so having an actually home became important".

Beth laughs "I get that.....".

We chat some more in general terms about the kind of things this job really requires until Paul wakes up and we get ready to take him back to his mom.

 

Across town:

Lucas enters the Grid, feeling like shit, tired and so many thoughts swirling in his head. He is mentally kicking himself.

Ben spots him "hey stranger" and as Lucas comes closer, he gets up and rushes over to pour him a cup for coffee, handing it to him "you look like hell, man and I heard you got shot".

He takes it gratefully "thanks a lot" and then shrugs "I actually feel like crap.......slept horrible last night and as your know, the night before and yeah, bullet grazed me, not a biggie".

"Yeah, only you would say that about a bullet almost tearing through your upper torso..", Ben rolls his eyes and then sounds concerned "how's Paul?".

"He is ok, but he had a tough night too, the poor little guy....he was very upset", his face softening with the next sentence "Brooke was amazing with him.....she stayed with him, talked to him, read to him.....I think I even heard her sing to him".

Ben has been watching him "you have it bad".

"What?".

"You really fancy her....come on, don't lie, Lucas".

A blush creeps up on his cheeks "so what if I do?", adding quietly "she would never have me.......I'm broken".

"What are you talking about?".

"Ah, Lucas.......Ben, conference room now" Ros barks from the door.

Lucas looks at Ben and just shakes his head with a sad face. Ben puts his hand on his shoulder briefly as they walk in there.

Harry is already in there with Ruth and they spend the next hour debriefing the case, swapping stories and making sure the reports can be written correctly.

The meeting finally comes to an end and Harry looks at Lucas across the table "and with that.....I think we are done and Lucas.....you better get home and get some rest". He is about to protest, but Harry lifts his hand "that's an order......go......we depend on you, so you better get some sleep".

Knowing it is pointless to argue, he nods and leaves, saying a quick bye to Tariq as he passes his desk out there. He heads out, looking at his watch, it is early afternoon. Deciding to walk home, he stops at his local deli, grabbing a grilled ham and cheese sandwich and a water. He eats it while walking through the streets of London, something he on a normal day, would really enjoy. Today is anything but normal, his head is filled with thoughts and voices, voices of regret, doubt and sadness.

He enters his apartment complex, happy they put him up in a better place. He had hated his first apartment, not sure why, but this felt more like his style. Tossing his phone, keys and wallet on the counter, he sheds his jacket and then goes in his bedroom, pulling the sheets to the side. He takes off his clothes, only leaving his black boxer briefs on and climbs into bed. The sheets feel cold on his skin and he stretches out, staring up at the skylight above his bed. It is still light outside. 

Shifting, he changes to his side, huffing in frustration, closing his eyes, trying to relax. It doesn't work. Back on his back, more staring at the sky, then to his stomach, putting the pillow over his head. Breathe......concentrate.....more tossing and turning, until he finally throws the sheet and blanket to the side, getting back up, muttering "fuck it".

He goes over to the closet, finding some running shorts and a long sleeved shirt, he puts it on and then reaches for his socks and running shoes. He grabs his keys and heads back out. He goes for a long run in the neighborhood and over and around the large park. It is getting a bit nippy, but he doesn't feel it,  but can just tell by the cold vapors as he huffs and puffs several miles. He is still trying to wrestle with his inner demons and a good run usually helps him clear his mind.

No this time. He returns to his flat about as frustrated as he was when he left, but he body is getting tired and so is his mind.

Getting back in, he grabs a protein shake from the fridge, figuring it will be dinner tonight. He goes in the bathroom and sheds his clothes, turning on the faucet for the tub, feeling the water and then pouring some bath salt in it. Ripping off the gaze, he inspects the wound in the mirror, it really doesn't look bad. He gets in, leaning back, trying to let the warm water soothe his body and when the tub is full, letting his mind wander to happier places.

It works, at least for a little bit. 

He finally gets out, toweling off and then brushing his teeth. He manages to get another self sticky gaze pad on the wound, then proceeds to climb back in bed, not bothering to put any clothes back on. He lays there for a while, trying to will himself to sleep, but he is still tense and frustrated. Sighing, he gets back up, turning on the light on the night stand and goes to retrieve his laptop from the coffee table. He turns it on and waits for it to come to life, opening the drawer under the lamp, reaching for a bottle of lube and a hand towel.

Logging in, he quickly finds the website he has been to before, when his primal needs override any rational thoughts and he is seeking some release. He clicks a favorite video and hits play, adjusting the sound, he sits the laptop on the bed and puts his back against the headboard with a pillow for support. His eyes are fixed on the screen and he feels his body react to the images of a naked couple on a bed. The man is behind the woman, a beautiful long haired brunette with gorgeous curves, he is almost spooning her, they are kissing passionately and then he bends his head down to lick her small breasts, her nipples peaking and she moans in appreciation.

Lucas groans with her and he shifts his hips as his cock starts to fill. Lubing his hand, he waits, trying to just feel without touching himself quite yet. The guy lifts her leg and slowly enters her from behind, the couple moaning when he bottoms out, which Lucas echoes when he wraps his fist around himself, slowly pumping up and down. He starts to fuck her in earnest while he fingers her clit, skin slapping against skin and she turns her head to give him a sloppy kiss.

"Ohhh fuck yes.....harder.....I want you to come inside of me......I want to feel it", Lucas moves his hand faster, making sure he thumbs his head every time, feeling the slick drops of precum mixing with the lube. The guy grips her hips, grunting with every hard thrust and he circles her clit with his fingers, slowing down a bit, listening to his lover's sounds of passion. 

Lucas feels himself tighten and his thighs are starting to shake. The woman arches and cries out "ohhh fuck yes, yes, yes......oohhhhhhhhh" and he pounds into her, coming with a groan "fuuucckkkk yes.......ohhhh". Lucas follows suit, biting his lower lip as he climaxes, spurting over and over on his own hand and stomach, leaving white streaks. 

He collapses with a deep grunt of release, slumping against the pillow. He lays panting there for a few minutes, catching his breath, before shutting off the laptop. Reaching for the towel, he cleans himself, tossing it in the bathroom and then laying down in bed, letting out a sigh. He turns off the light.

Finally his body is relaxed, his breathing evens out and he is able to fall asleep.

He sleeps for a long time. 

 

The next day:

I just finished yoga class, feeling refreshed and ready to start the day. I got to go home yesterday and rest, while my thoughts kept wandering to Lucas and worrying about him. I saw a very insecure and broken man the night before and my heart just broke for him.

I looked for him at the gym this morning, but just spotted Ben running on the tread mill by himself and didn't want to bother him. I tell Annabel bye, heading for the lockers and Ben comes out of the men's side. He recognizes me and walks over "hey....good to see you.....did you get some rest? I heard it was rough".

"I did, thank you.....how are you?".

"Good".

I look around "did Lucas not come with you this morning?".

"Nope, we usually meet here, but he didn't show and he is not answering his phone".

I get concerned "is he ok?".

"Yeah, yeah.....I think so.....he was hammered yesterday, Harry ordered him home after our meeting".

"Good, I'm glad.....it was a rough night" and I hesitate for a moment "he had a nightmare".

"He did?".

"Yeah, it was bad....I'm worried about him".

"He says it comes and goes" and Ben shakes his head "but I honestly don't know how he functions at all........and I only know a fraction of what he actually went through".

I look him straight in the eyes "it was bad.....".

He wants to ask how I know that, but he is also respectful, so he just nods "poor Lucas".

"I know....".

We stand there for a second and then Ben lights up "are you coming to the holiday party tonight?".

"The one that Thames House puts on every year.....where you pretend you love all the connections and allies that come, including people from the Circus.....that one?".

Ben laughs "I have never heard it described that way before, but yes, that one".

"Yeah, I will drop by as a favor to Harry, I know he hates those things as much as the rest, but also feels it is important to share holiday cheer with his colleagues and those few from section D that he actually considers real friends, some even family".

"It is and yeah, we almost are a family.....even though maybe a very dysfunctional one".

We chuckle at that and say our goodbyes, Ben looking at me "I'll see you tonight.....Lucas will be happy to see you" and he winks before he walks out the door.

I shake my head and jump in the shower.

 

Ben makes it to the Grid, tossing his bag on the floor. Beth looks up "where's your siamese twin?".

"I don't know, he didn't show".

"Ben! Did you call him? Is he ok?".

"I'm sure he is fine, probably shut off his phone, he was totally knackered yesterday...".

She gestures "maybe we need to go to his flat...".

"I'm sure he is fine, Harry told him to go home and rest".

"Yes, I sure did and he better have listened or I will sent him on assignment at the CIA" and Harry gestures to the conference room "in here......Ros has stuff to share with us".

They all get in, taking their seats, Ros stands up and points to the screen "this is Ryan Baisley......a DeWits bank employee, who has kept track of illegal earnings and accounts, but he is reluctant to give those up, he keeps changing his demands.....we are working with the CIA on getting him to hand them over". She sighs "he wants more money and our CIA partners might not be helping, they are a bit more aggressive than we are".

Ben pipes up "and who is the CIA person you are working with?".

Ruth answers "Sarah Caulfield".

"The blond?".

Ros nods "that would be her....she is something else" and then she can't help it "and she is also a pain in the arse, she is obsessed with Lucas for some reason and all I had to hear about last night was her complaining and wondering why Lucas wasn't on this case".

Beth laughs "probably wants him as her own personal boy toy".

There are general chuckles around the table.

"Who wants who for a boy toy?".

They all look up and Lucas is standing in the door, looking much better than yesterday. Coffee cup in hand, he gestures "sorry I'm late.......must have shut my phone off.....".

Harry waves his hand "happy you did so.....come on in, have a seat....".

"Thanks" and Lucas looks at Ros "what were your talking about......boy toy?".

"Ohhh nothing.....", but Beth cuts her off "oh yes.......Ros was just filling us in on how Sarah Caulfield wants to eat your for dinner".

"What?".

Ros nods "well, sort of......she is obsessed with you......she would not shut up about you yesterday, so fair warning, Lucas.....".

He nods, looking uncomfortable "not interested, she gives me the creeps........but go on, sorry for interrupting".

Continuing, Ros briefs them on where they stand at the moment and to just keep looking into things and seeing if Baisley will break in the next few days.

Wrapping up, Harry stands up "thank you.......lets get to work shall we.......and yes, don't forget the dreadful yet cheerful holiday gathering tonight up on the 5th floor...we get to smooze with our allies and pretend we really care. Please do come and eat the very tasty hors d'oeuvre and a few alcoholic beverages, all paid for by the British tax payers and support your colleagues". 

They murmur agreement in various forms as chairs get pushed out and everyone gets up to leave. They are walking out and Harry catches up to Lucas "can I have a word?".

Lucas nods and follows him into the glass office, shutting the door behind them and taking a seat as it is offered to him "what's up?".

Harry looks at him in earnest "how are you? Did you get some rest?".

"I did....I'm fine......".

"No, really, Lucas......how are you doing?".

Leaning forward, he pierces Harry with his eyes "care to tell me what this is all about?".

"I'm worried about you......Ben said you haven't been sleeping......maybe you need to see the psychologist again......you have been through hell and back......".

"I'm fine, Harry....I really am", he takes a deep breath "I'm thankful for your concern, but to be honest, those psychologists can't do anything for me anymore......they are not there in the middle of the night, when...." and his voice breaks "when I wake up, covered in sweat because I think I am being beaten again or they are hooking car batteries up to my genitals".

Harry winces.

Lucas stands up, pacing the room "I know they mean well, but it honestly feel pointless to talk to them.......I know everyone is different, but they were not helpful.....I know Ros felt the same way".

"She told you?".

Sitting back down, Lucas says quietly "yeah, she told me the other evening.......she told me you had her go see Brooke Campbell and she said Brooke really helped her".

"Brooke is a saint...".

Lucas smiles and nods "she is something else......I don't know what it is......".

"Do you like her?" and Harry lifts his hands up "look.....it is none of my business if you do, but Ruth said something to me the other day and I just need to let you know......you have my blessing if you pursue it, not that you need it....".

"What did Ruth say?".

"She noticed you the other day, the way you looked at Brooke.....woman's intuition or whatever......anyway, she reminded me, that I might come off as....ehhhh....maybe protective of Brooke and that might hold you back....".

Lucas gives a faint smile "smart woman, that Ruth....." and looks Harry in the eyes "yeah, I do feel attracted to her, but I honestly don't know.....I haven't dated anyone for over 8 years....and she is brilliantly smart...".

"And you aren't? I don't think you give yourself enough credit here, Lucas......you have done very well since you came back, you were a brilliant agent before, but even more so now......you can make the tough calls while leaving the emotion out of it, that is a hard thing to do and why only few are as good as you........don't sell yourself short".

"Is she even single.......she told me she was......but I can't fathom that.....she is beautiful...?".

"That I don't know.....she doesn't tell her father or I much at times.....once a spy always a spy, I guess....but if she told you she was, I would believe her, she is not a liar, unless she has to be of course.....".

"I hit her, Harry!".

Harry whips his head around "you did what?".

"I hit her the other night at the apartment with Paul.......I was having a nightmare and she tried to comfort me....I was out of it" and he sounds frustrated.

"What did she do?".

"Reached out to me and told me it was ok......".

"That's Brooke in a nutshell......and your reaction to that?".

He gives Harry a painful look "I shut her out, ignored her and went into myself.....I didn't think she would really understand or care".

Harry gets up "well, then you certainly are not giving her enough credit......she is smarter than that and you know that too......what are you afraid of?".

"To be rejected.....hurt......".

"Lucas.....", long pause "I don't have to tell you that life is short.....sometimes we have to take chances and risks" and he lifts a finger "yes, I know we do that with our work every damn day, but sometimes we have to do that with our emotions too.....".

There is silence for a while, Lucas is processing what he has heard, he finally looks at Harry, his eyes a little glossy, his voice low "thank you.......".

"You're welcome.........now I suggest you take the rest of the day off and go apologize for being a stubborn git......".

Lucas grins, getting to his feet and extending his hand to Harry "thank you....".

"Now get out of here...." and he does.

 

I'm back at the hospital, just finished seeing a couple of patients. I type a few reports while I contemplate what I should enjoy for lunch. There is a knock on my door, I get up and go over to open it, finding Lucas outside, holding a bouquet of white roses and wearing his signature jeans, boots and a very tight fitting blue jumper under his jacket, making his eyes look even bluer. He looks a bit timid, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Our eyes meet, his voice low "I owe you an apology.....can we talk?".


	4. Chapter 4

I smile at Lucas and gestures "yes.....please come in, but you don't owe me anything".

He hands me the flowers "yes I do, I was a moody arse and shut you out...I'm really sorry, Brooke" and he gives me puppy eyes, his eyelashes batting against his pale skin.

Stepping up to him, I lean close, standing on my toes to kiss his cheek as I take the flowers, feeling the slight stubble scrape against my skin. I inhale his cologne, he smells incredible. "It's fine, Lucas.....it really is" and I step back, seeing he has closed his eyes for a moment "I really do understand, but thank you for the beautiful flowers, you didn't need to".

"Yes I did......that's the least I can do" and he blinks for a second, focusing back on me "you helped us out and I treated you like an arse".

I put the flowers on my desk and then gesture to the couch "can you stay for a minute......you said you wanted to talk?" and I sit down, he joins me, shedding his jacket in the process.

He looks down and then back at me, very unsure of himself "I..I mainly came to apologize....I feel stupid". 

Scooting closer, I reach for his arm, saying softly "Lucas......let it go.....please.........stop beating yourself up over it.......as I said, I understand...." and I hesitate for a moment "probably more than you know......".

Looking at my fingers on his arm, his eyes dart back to mine "in what way?".

Letting go of his arm, I wring my hands together and then run one through my hair, taking a deep breath "ok......but please don't fly off the handle or let this get back to Harry, it was so against protocol and I think Harry feels guilty enough....".

Lucas nods "agreed".

"Harry let me read your entire file.....", our eyes meet "all of it.....all the things pertaining to your return, debriefing, medical and psychological evaluations etc".

He buries his head in his hands for a brief moment, letting it sink in "oh god....why?".

"I think he wanted a second opinion" and I get a bit more animated "look.....Harry has been riddle with guilt and worry all the years you were gone, nobody was more thrilled than him when you finally were released, but he was also deeply troubled and concerned......concerned you would never recover or be able to function again, have a life....everything".

"Do I dare ask what you told him?".

I give him a small smile "yes, it's not bad.......", I lean towards him, our eyes locked "first, I hope you are incredible proud of how far you have come". He is about to protest, but I hold up my hand "no, hear me out.....I know you still have bad days or rather nights, nightmares and flashbacks of all the horrible things they did to you, but you know what, Lucas.....that just means you are normal, you are working through it. It would weird if you didn't.....you are human and what you endured was horrific and for so many years......lesser people would have totally crumbled and never been able to return to a regular life......you were isolated for so long....".

He says quietly "that was almost the worst....", he gives me a painful look "I came to crave the beatings because at least someone else was there.....".

Reaching out my hand to place on top of his, I nod "I'm sure you did".

Giving me a grim look, his voice almost breaks "I tried to hang myself once....it...it was just too much to bear....".

Instinct takes over and I move all the way next to him, wrapping my arms around him and he buries his face in my neck as I whisper in his ear "I know....".

His strong arms envelope me and we just hold each other for a while, nothing needs to be said, but I hope he feels I do understand. He body is warm and my attraction to him is rising inside of me, like a force to be reckoned with, which scares me a bit. I have not felt like this for a very long time.

Finally loosening his grip, he pulls back, lifting my chin, his eyes are clear, but his voice a bit shaky "thank you....". He takes my hand, my fingers wrapping around his and we sit in silence for a few seconds more "what else did you tell Harry?".

I glance at our hands "I told him to just let you be.....not to push you or ask too many questions and I stressed the importance of letting you get back to what was your normal before all this......it's hard when people are not allowed to, because it makes them less likely to recover and get back to their lives.....".

Nodding "that explains some things....I remember Ros fighting him about letting me return to the team so fast, but Harry stood his ground, told her that she might be section chief, but he was still in charge.....Ros didn't like that, but I honestly needed that, to get back to where I was before......thank you".

"You're welcome......".

"Why are you not working at the Grid or over at the Circus? You could help a lot of people..." and then his eyes go big and he gestures "not that I'm implying you are not helping here, with what you do.....I'm sure you are", then he smiles fondly "you were amazing with Paul....never seen anything like it.....".

"Thank you.......that's very kind....well, as I told you, I was married to an MI6 agent...when we met I was in the process of leaving anyway and I honestly don't think it would have worked if we had both been in, too much stress and pressure, even if we weren't under the same command........so I finished my degree and found my true calling in life......helping kids deal with incredible challenges".

"Do you ever miss it?".

I think for a minute "the rush of adrenaline when you are on the hunt or in the middle of some sort of battle?".

He nods.

"Sometimes a little, I guess......I still shoot for practice, so that gives me a tiny bit of that rush.......but I can also tell you what I don't miss........the not knowing when I will be home in my own bed, waking up and having to think what city I am in or talking to someone and remembering to keep my cover and lie through my teeth about what it is I do.......giving them the standard spill about working for a high end security firm or making up some obscure story about a company I work for".

Lucas chuckles "I hear you.....even  though I mostly stay here in London now".

"Is that by choice?".

"To a point, but I also think Harry is trying to protect me.....he would never admit that of course....but I think that is what he is trying to do".

I look at him, he really is so handsome "do you mind?".

"No, not really to be honest......I love this city, I thought I would never see it again......".

Silence hangs in the air for a minute, we each sit with our own thoughts, but it is not uncomfortable. He is still holding my hand,

Lucas finally reluctantly lets it go, clearing his throat "well, sorry for interrupting your work day.....I should probably get going" and he makes a move to get up.

I put my hand on his meaty thigh "have you had lunch yet?".

Shaking his head "no.....I came straight here after our morning briefing.....well, except I stopped at the florist".

"Want to join me for lunch?".

He lifts an eyebrow "like a date?".

I smile "well, I guess we can call it that if you want.....".

"I would very much want.....", a pause and then he reaches for my hand again. The tension is thick in the air, we both feel it, but not sure how exactly to react to it. Our eyes lock, some silent understanding passing between us. He is taken back by the feelings welling up inside, feelings he hasn't felt in a very long time. Clearing his throat, he smiles "so where are we going on this fancy date?".

"I never said it was fancy" and he chuckles at that, "but we can either go out or order something here.....the cafeteria food is actually surprisingly good".

"Seriously? I always thought it was dreadful at any hospital", but then he makes a face "although I bet it still beats Russian prison food".

I make a face "I'm sure......you looked horrible, no offense when you came back.....I remember Harry being so upset, he said your ribs were sticking out".

Lucas snorts "more or less.....I had to start slow with real food, it use to make me sick right after I got back, things tasted too strong, too greasy etc".

"And now?" and I reach for a menu on the table, handing it to him "here, take a look and see if anything sounds good.......I know you are fond of meat pies and chocolate cake".

His eyes shoot up, but then he gestures "oh yeah, you read my file.....".

"Yeah, just like you read mine......you pretty much know everything about me, including my knicker and bra size".

He turns an interesting shade of pink and coughs, all of a sudden finding the menu very interesting "so what is good? And to answer your other question.....yes, I love meat pies and almost all other foods...it's like an adventure and it feels wonderful to actually be control of what and when I eat".

I can't help but tease him "did I make you blush?".

A pause, he is avoiding my eyes, but then finally looks back up "yeah...maybe a little.....as I said, I feel clueless....haven't been attracted to anyone or attempted to date for such a long time".

Squeezing his hand, I smile "you are doing just fine....and look at it this way, at least we both know the others history more or less, we don't need to lie about what we do or use to do".

"I honestly hadn't thought about it that way.......so have you really not dated since Daniel died?".

"Well, I've been asked".

He makes a face "I'm sure you have.....they would be stupid otherwise".

"But no, not really......just never felt it was the right moment or guy.......".

"And with me it is different?" and he gives me a look, full of hope.

"It feels different..." and I return the look "I'm really attracted to you too, Lucas.....I felt it the moment we met.....but just so there are no misunderstandings......I don't do one night stands".

He looks horrified, sounding almost upset "oh no, no, no.....please, Brooke......that's not what I was intending....not ever....I'm sorry if".

Cutting him off "it wasn't, I was just taking my precaution....didn't want you to be disappointed".

Moving closer, he cups my face "never....I want to get to know you...I have no expectations at all......other than maybe a real date?".

I feel the heat from his hand and his body, it is intoxicating and I look at his lips, but know if I kiss him, the passion will explode between us and I'm not sure either of us are ready for that. "We can do a real date, I would like that very much".

He pulls back a little, looking pleased "do you have tomorrow night free? I have to attend some dreadful holiday party at Thames House tonight........this must have started after I went to Russia, but I will go to support Harry".

"Yes, the annual smooze fest....", he looks surprised as I continue "Harry started it like 5 years ago, he wanted to just bring a little cheer among all the allies and MI5.....it's really not that bad and the food it always quite good, plus they have wine, beer and other adult beverages......which can end up embarrassing for some......one year the Germans had to be carried down the stairs and put in a Taxi".

"You've been?".

"Attend every year, first with Daniel and then later with my father, to support Harry and wish him a Happy Christmas" and I notice the question in his eyes "yes, I'm going tonight.....".

"I look forward to it then" and he grins "do I get to meet the famous John Cunningham tonight?".

I shake my head "sadly no.......he sends his regrets, my mother insisted they go to the Christmas concert at the London symphony and since he still feels guilty for all the years being gone, she won that argument".

He laughs "I understand".

"So anything look good on the menu or want to go out?".

"We can stay in....if you don't mind", a small smile "I like to talk to you in private....".

"No, that's totally fine......what sounds good?".

"I'll have the meat pie, the chocolate lava cake and just water".

I giggle "so predictable" and I duck when he swats the menu after me.

"Watch it.....let me guess what you are having......" and he scans the menu, pushing his tongue out, which is adorable "you'll have water, the brown rice and teriyaki chicken and the caramel flan".

I let go of his hand, clapping mine together "very good".

"Easy......I know you love Asian food, especially sushi and you like caramel anything".

"Pretty much......did you memorize my entire file?".

He blushes a little "perhaps, but remember, we are in the business of being able to recall things".

"True".

I pick up the phone and order our food, while getting up to find the placemats in the closet for the small dining table in the corner. He gets up too "can I do anything?".

"Nope....other than take a seat if you want?".

He looks around my office "it's almost like a small apartment, you have everything" and he gestures to the door on the other side "even a bathroom?".

"Yep, with a shower.......I'm spoiled....just need a bed and I could live here......the couch is ok.......and I like to have the dinner table, because sometimes the kids will want to color or eat...".

We just chit chat about stuff, he talks about his new apartment and how he likes it better, the gym and asks me about my place. Food arrive and we enjoy a nice lunch, he is easy to talk to and we share several laughs about the perils of the job and some of the nonsense you always encounter when dealing with the British government. 

Time passes quickly and I feel I could sit here all day. He gets up to toss our boxes out and glances at his watch, his eyes going big "fu...I mean...I really gotta run or Harry will sent out the cavalry looking for me".

I get up "did you almost swear?".

"Likely.....".

"I don't mind......remember where I use to work".

"Good point" and he comes all the way over, leaning really close, locking eyes with me "thanks for a lovely lunch.....I had a really good time, Brooke....".

Our hands find each other, our fingers touching ever so slightly, giving me goosebumps. 

"I did too, Lucas....thanks for the flowers".

"You're welcome...." and get all the way close, whispering "may I?".

Knowing what he is asking, I stand up on my toes, saying breathless "yes" and my eyes close as he places the softest kiss on my lips.

It's brief, but very sweet and when he pulls back, he smiles "I'll see you tonight".

I nod and walk him to the door, both of us reeling from the tension between us. He turns, saying a hasty "bye" and then disappears out the door.

Leaning against the wall, I take a deep breath. Wow.

 

Lucas is walking back into the Grid, carrying a large box of donuts. The glass door opens and he makes it to his desk, announcing loudly "Friday treats..donuts....come and get them before Kaplan eats them all".

Ben comes over "very funny", but he does grin and takes one from the box "thanks, man.....what's the occasion?".

"Nothing.......just thought we could use a treat".

"Where have you been anyway? Harry said you were taking care of something".

"I was......" and he sits down.

"Come on, Lucas.......spit it out....".

Beth walks from her desk, she has observed the entire thing "I think he went fishing......and maybe caught what he wanted?" and she winks, earning a cheeky grin from Lucas.

Ben is confused "what are you talking about?".

Ros yells from the conference room "Ben, Beth, Lucas......in here.......and bring the donuts, Lucas....please".

They all make their way in there, while Ben tries to get Beth to spill the beans on what Lucas was doing.

Harry gets up "we need to talk about *Nightingale* again.....this need to get moving.....I talked to Samuel Walker at the CIA and he is really worried".

It ends up taking up most of the rest of the afternoon, all of them pouring over files, brainstorming, having Tariq check leads and so forth. Harry finally calls it quits and orders everyone home before the gathering tonight.

Lucas makes a fast exit, earning a few stares from the others. Ben walks out with Beth "so what was Lucas doing?".

She finds it humorous that he seems clueless "you really have no idea?".

"No, I don't......".

"Think, Ben.....what seems to have had Lucas' attention the last few days? Besides doing his job.....".

Pause, but then the light bulb moment "Brooke?".

"Bingo!".

"You think they are dating? He has been here most of the time.....".

"Maybe not yet, but I have a hunch he saw her at lunch time....I've never seen him this giddy ever".

"Well, Lucas doesn't get giddy.....".

"Exactly, Ben".

He gets serious "well, I hope you are right.....he sure deserves to have someone in his life and to be happy.....i still can't believe what he went through".

She shutters "I can't even imagine and I only know bits and pieces, he doesn't talk about it".

"It was bad....".

They both contemplate that for a moment and then say their goodbyes.

 

A few hours later:

Lucas walks into the big space at Thames house, feeling relieved when he sees section D standing over by the bar area. He heads over there, ordering a beer. Ros teases him "well, you sure clean up nicely".

He laughs "thanks....".

Ben is still wearing his work clothes from earlier "I didn't know we had to dress up" and he looks at Lucas, who is wearing navy suit pants, fancier shoes than his usually leather boots, a light blue dress shirt, unbuttoned at the top and a matching navy suit jacket over it. He clearly showered again, but didn't shave, the day old scruff still casting a shadow on his face.

"I don't think we had to, Ben......but I figured it was a holiday party after all".

Beth is wearing a cranberry dress, and Ruth and Ros also went home to change.

Harry is still in the same suit from earlier, he waves his hand "don't sweat it, nobody cares.....just smile and chat" and he looks over "oh here comes the CIA.....Sam Walker leading the pack".

Ros "oh dear....we have to smooze with Sarah Caulfield for a few moment, lucky us".

They all put on their smiley faces and greet them. Samuel Walker introduces their newest team member "this is Rob Cooper, he just joined us a few weeks ago......I think you know everyone else". They all exchange pleasantries with each other.

Sarah walks over to Lucas "hey.....haven't seen you around much" and she steps a little too close, batting her eyes at him.

"Ehhh, I've been busy with other cases...".

"Yeah, I know.....I keep pestering Harry to let us work together" and she sips suggestively of her wine glass.

Lucas takes a swig at his beer, looking around "yeah, well......Harry makes the calls on that......".

"Or Ros....." and she places her hand on his arm, whispering in his ear "I'm beginning to think she wants you for herself".

He makes a face, wrecking his brain for a response, but Rob saves him, when he walks over, sticking out his hand "the famous Lucas North.....an honor to meet you".

"Thank you, I think......it's nice to meet you too, welcome to the UK, you will enjoy it.......Samuel Walker is a good boss".

"That's what I hear".

"Excuse me" and Lucas walks over to Ben and Beth, saying rather desperately "do something......I can't stand her".

Beth is amused "I think she would very much like to eat you alive, she was practically drooling when you walked over here...wow....can she be any more obvious?".

Ben smirks "well, she could drop to her knees and offer to blow him".

Lucas says rather loudly "Ben! Really?".

Beth just laughs and Ros and Ruth joins them "what's so funny".

"Oh just that Miss Caulfield would like to have Lucas as her own hors d'oeuvre", Ben motions towards Sarah and Rob, who are talking to Harry and Samuel.

Ros rolls her eyes "oh for heavens sakes, it's not a meat market or a dating service".

"Thank you, Ros", Lucas nods.

"You can do better than that blond cow...." and she looks at Ruth "and if you get desperate, I'm sure Ruth can make arrangements for someone to come to your apartment.....".

"Good god....NO, I'm fine!" and he looks mortified, to the amusement of the others.

They mingle a bit more, greeting some of their other allies, but somehow end back talking to Sarah and Rob. Lucas doesn't say much, but Sarah keeps trying to get him to talk. He keeps looking at the entrance, glancing at his clock.

He is standing with Rob, Ben and a couple of other CIA agents, relieved to have gotten a break from Sarah. Rob sure likes to talk and is boasting about this and that, something Lucas has gotten quite use to from some Americans. He tries to pretend he is paying attention to the story and is surprised when Rob lets out a whistle "damn! Is she part of your team? I sure would not mind getting chased into bed by a spy looking like that" and he leers towards the door.

Lucas turns to see who he is talking about and is rooted to the ground for a moment, then breaks into a smile. He sets down his beer, pats Rob on the shoulder "excuse me".

 

I enter the Thames House big conference room, a bit winded, since I am running a later than I wanted. I smooth my red dress out and adjust the gift bag in my hand. I am about to start looking around for familiar faces, when Lucas practically comes running over, a big smile on his face.

"Hey".

"Hey yourself" and he bends down, placing a soft kiss on my cheek "you look absolutely stunning, Brooke" and he steps back "that dress" and his eyes goes to my cleavage.

"Thank you.....it is the holidays after all.....you look very handsome yourself, nice suit".

"Thanks" and he gestures "can I get you a drink?".

"White wine, please".

"Coming right up" and we walk to the bar together. He hands me the glass "I'm glad you came".

"Me too.....but I was running late.....things sometimes takes longer than you think" and I point to the curls in my hair.

"It was worth it......you look beautiful" and he can't help but lean down to give me a light kiss on the lips. We both smile at each other when he pulls away and he whispers in my ear "sorry....I just can't help it".

I give him a smile "it's fine".

He is about to say something else, but Harry's voice is behind me "Brooke..".

I turn and hug him, kissing his cheek "Harry".

"Good to see you.......where is your dad?".

Holding up the gift bag, I hand it to him "he sends his regrets.....Christmas symphony concert fell on the same night".

Harry nods "yes, I am sure she won that one" and he peaks in the bag, looking back at me grinning "tell him thank you......he needs to come visit so we can share a glass".

"Or come see him on the farm...they would love to have you".

"I know, thank you....." and he looks from me to Lucas and back at me "is there something I should know?".

Stepping up, Lucas reaches for my hand "no, not yet.......I assume you don't need to vet her?".

"No, that wont be necessary" and he looks at us both "but just know I am very happy if it works out.......you both deserve some happiness and love".

Beth comes up, looking urgently at Lucas "get out of here now with Brooke.....Sarah saw you and if looks could kill, you would be dead by now, she is coming to find out what the scoop is and who Brooke is".

Harry makes a face "go....it's fine.....go enjoy each others company....we'll keep her occupied until you can escape".

Lucas pulls on my hand "let's go", I set the glass down on the nearest table as we walk briskly out of the room. We get to the elevator and he hits the down button. I touch his arm "who the hell is Sarah?".

Stepping into the lift, he turns to me after he pushes the *parking garage* button "some psycho CIA woman that wants my ass" and he looks terrified.

"I can't say I blame her".

"Brooke, stop.......it isn't funny at all......I swear I was being eaten alive earlier".

I suppress a giggle "sorry". We walk out into the garage and I just let out a laugh, not able to contain it while I picture him being uncomfortable, as she tries to hit on him.

He stops and pulls me into his arm, holding me tight "it's not funny".

Biting my lower lip, I look up at him "a little".

Giving me a small smile, he cups my face "you're bad" and then he lowers his head, our lips meeting. The kiss starts slow, but then quickly builds. He hesitates for a moment, but when I reach up to grab his face, he opens his mouth slowly, nipping carefully at my lower lip and then we both dive in, letting our tongues wrap around each other in a deep, wet kiss. 

We finally have to break, both of us gasping for air and he leans his forehead against mine, saying softly "so..sorry".

"Don't apologize, Lucas.....it was nice......very nice" and we kiss again.

Separating again, he pulls me close, I rest my head against his shoulder as he runs his hand up my back. He lifts my chin "can I take you out on a date now since you didn't get to eat".

"That would be lovely".

He kisses me again and then takes my hand, leading me to his car. 


	5. Chapter 5

Lucas starts the car and drives out of the parking garage "so where do you want to go?".

"I don't care.......what sounds good to you?" and I shiver a bit, it is chilly tonight.

He turns up the heat and adjust the seat warmers "sorry...should warm up quickly".

"It's ok...should have worn more clothes...." and I study the interior of the car "nice ride".

"Thanks......courtesy of the British Government......I actually don't own a car, Harry just lets me borrow whatever we have parked down there, says they might as well get used.....or I walk or take the underground".

"I take the underground mostly too, but I do have a car, so I can go see my folks".

He is watching the road, but glances at me "visit them often?".

"Depends on what plans I have.....I do enjoy going on the weekends and ride, it's peaceful".

"I've never been, only once or twice when I was a child".

"You should come sometimes, it's great".

"That sounds lovely and terrifying at the same time".

I laugh "says the guy who hunts bad people for a living".

"Well, that's different".

Looking at him curiously "in what way?".

Pause.

He gestures with his hand "this is going to sound slightly nuts....I guess it's what I was meant to do or at least it feels that way, I honestly can't see me doing anything else with my life....".

I shake my head "it's not nuts at all......I think most in the intelligence community feel that way, at least to an extend, it is almost like a calling.....".

Sounding astonished, he nods and smiles "exactly.....".

"Do you ever question your commitment to it though...being willing to sacrifice it all for country, even your life?".

"No, because I think the day you start questioning it, is the day you need to resign and walk away".

"I totally agree......".

We are stopped in traffic and I look at all the lights and decorations outside. 

He mutters "I guess I forgot what London is like on evenings in December, everyone is out for a damn party.....maybe this was a bad idea......parking will be a nightmare" and he sighs "I'm sorry".

Reaching over, I put a hand on his thigh "don't apologize......it's fine.....if you are ok with it, we can drive to my flat and park in the parking garage...there are places we can walk to from there".

"That would be brilliant".

I give him directions and we get there fast, entering the code to get into the underground space and I direct him over next to my car. We get out and I fold my arms "let me run up and grab a sweater or something....".

Lucas removes his jacket, draping it over my shoulders "will this do? I'm really starving".

Turning to face him "but then you will be cold".

"I'm fine....." and he reaches for me, pulling me into his arms and giving me another warm kiss "this will keep me warm".

I giggle and return the kiss "worst excuse ever.....".

He hugs me, his face next to mine "I'm sorry.....I just....".

"I'm joking, Lucas" and I grab his face "I don't mind keeping warm with you if it involves heavy snogging".

Letting out a laugh in relief, he steals another kiss and then takes my hand "so where to?".

We walk up the stairs to the ground level, exiting out on the street and walk to the corner, I point "this is *Koi*, one of the best sushi places in London....".

"And also one of the busiest judging from the crowd" and he looks at the door "I'm sure the wait is long for a table...".

I tug on his hand "I'm not so sure.....follow me".

We enter and I make it up to the reservation desk and the girl behind it recognizes me "ahhhh Brooke.....two?".

"Yes, please.....if you have room".

She smiles "we always have room for one of our frequent customers" and she leans close "and her hotter than hell date". She leads us to a secluded table in the very back, sort of tugged behind a big planter and hands us menus "enjoy".

"Thank you, Izzie".

"Always.......Mr. Lee will be happy to see you".

Lucas holds out the chair for me, looking a little awkward. He sits down across from me, giving me a nod "very smooth......do I dare ask what frequent customer means?".

I laugh "pretty much that this is my to go place when I get home late from work....which is more nights than I care to admit to.......".

"I hear you... with this job, you never know when you will get home".

We look over the menu and a smaller man approaches our table, smiling brightly and bowing "Miss Brooke! So happy you are here" and he lights up, turning to Lucas "and with a gentleman". He extends his hand "Welcome.....I'm Mr. Lee, chef and owner of Koi.......we are very fond of Brooke".

"Lucas.....nice to meet you and yes, I'm very fond of her too", which makes me blush.

"Ahhh yes, she is very kind and beautiful" and he bows again "can I take your order?".

I look at Lucas who just nods, so I order for us "we will have the Koi sushi boat for two, an order of edamame, sake and two beers".

"Thank you......Brooke....Lucas......enjoy" and he is gone.

"You sure it is ok, I ordered?".

He reaches for my hand over the table "of course....you know the menu and I have only had sushi a few times with Ben.....".

"Why didn't you say so? We could have gone somewhere else.....I'm sorry, Lucas".

His fingers caresses my hand in a way that is pretty distracting and he smiles at me when our eyes meet "hey....don't worry....I didn't say I didn't like it, I do actually.....a lot....so this is great, but even better because you are here".

Last sentence hangs in the air for a bit, until our salted soybeans arrive along with the sake and beer. He reaches for one "now, don't think we had these....".

"Just eat the beans inside, discard the pod" and I have a couple.

He looks happy "mmm, those are tasty".

"I know and good for you too".

We enjoy a delightful dinner, just talking and savoring this very tasty meal.

The check arrives and we fight over it, me reaching for it first, but his hand overs mind and he shakes his head "I don't think so, I'm the one that asked you out, if I recall".

"Yes, but that was for tomorrow.....I got this".

"No, you don't" and he gives me a pleading look "please just let me pay.....you can pay some other time".

"Only if you agree yo come up for after dinner treats at my place and you let me pay for dinner tomorrow".

He raises an eyebrow and grins "that's deal". He settles the bill and we both thank Mr. Lee before we leave, waving to Izzie on the way out. 

The weather has turned nasty, it is pouring rain. Lucas is holding my hand and I'm still wearing his suit jacket. We make a run for it back to the apartment entrance, but take the lobby instead of the garage. I punch in the code to the elevator. He looks at me "pretty high security".

We get in the lift "well, my father had the job he had, so as much as I would like to leave it behind me, it will likely always be part of my life".

He nods as we ride to the 5th floor and walk down the hall to the end unit, I unlock it and gestures "please make yourself at home" and I let go of his hand "tea, coffee?".

"Tea would be nice, thank you".

We are soaking wet. I take his suit jacket off, hanging over a dining chair in my combined living and dining room. I turn to look at him and his blue dress shirt is clinging to him, giving me a nice view of his upper body, he is rock solid. "Ohhh Lucas......sorry.....better get that dry so you don't catch a cold.....follow me". We make it down the hall to the bigger bedroom, passing through to the bathroom. I reach for one of the big, fluffy towels on the rack, tossing him one "here....dry off and take the shirt off, I'll stick it in the dryer for 15 minutes.....".

"Thanks..." and he wipes his face, looking in the mirror at the double sink counter.

I do the same and make a face "well, that's attractive.....", my hair is plastered to my face.

He looks at me "you look fine".

Making a noise of disagreement, I bend over, toweling my hair as much as I can and then proceed to remove my makeup, no point in wearing it all smeared and wet. It's quickly done and I am not aware he is watching my every move, totally spellbound. I finish and reach in the drawer for a hair clip, securing it in a messy updo in the back. I turn to him, puzzled "you alright?".

He is leaned against the counter, his hair is sort of pikey and still holding the towel. He snaps out of it "yeah....ehhh......sorry".

I take the towel from him, hanging it back up "what was it?".

Shaking his head, he looks embarrassed "I...it....", and our eyes meet, he reaches out to me, pulling me into his arms, saying softly "it was just such a normal moment.....with another human being.....something I haven't had in a very long time".

Nodding in understanding, I lean up to kiss him softly on the lips and I feel his hand go to the back of my head as he deepens the kiss, chasing my tongue with his. It feels so nice, but then we both shiver from our wet clothes. 

We part slightly and I touch his collar "ok, you better loose this or you will get sick.......I'm going to get out of this dress too.......I'm sorry I don't have anything you can wear, but it should be dry shortly".

"It'll be fine, Brooke".

I wander in the closet, closing the door, quickly shedding my soaked dress and putting on a pair of yoga pants, a t shirt and then a cozy cardigan. I come back out and he is standing in my bedroom, shirtless and looking lost. He gestures "where's your dryer?".

Taking the shirt from him, I walk with him in tow, out to the kitchen and to the small laundry room. I put the shirt in the dryer, adjusting the settings and start it. We make it back to the kitchen, where I quickly turn the kettle on for tea and gather cups, and roam in the pantry for some cookies. I find some chocolate covered macaroons I made the other night.

He gets the tea kettle and we plop down on the couch. I point to the blanket on the armrest "if you are cold".

Pouring our tea water, he nods "thanks.....I'm ok right now.....your apartment feels warm". Dunking the tea pods, we talk and I hand him a macaroon. He pops it in his mouth, making a happy face and sound "mmmmm....that's very tasty".

"Glad you like them, baked them the other day.....I love to bake when I have some time".

Reaching for another one, he grins "I might need to double my time in the gym, if we are going to hang out a lot".

Looking straight at him, I smile "I hope we are......".

He puts his tea cup on the table and reaches out for me "come here....." and he cups my face when I get close, his voice low "I certainly hope so too......you are just lovely" and he kisses me softly on the lips. 

I return the kiss and it quickly grows more heated, our mouths opening up to each other and obscene kissing noises fill the room. 

We are grabbing at each other and I need him closer, climbing into his lap, straddling him. A groan rips from his mouth when I settle over his groin and he wraps me in his arms, kissing me with passion.

My hands are in his hair as we devour each other and his hands are not idle either, roaming over my back and down to my behind. I whimper when I feel him grasping my cheeks firmly and his hardness pressing closer to my core. I'm breathless in his ear "Lucas".

He is panting under me, throwing his head back as I lick down his throat, nipping on his collar bone and then palm his beautiful chest. I trace my fingers over the Blake tattoo and then follow with my mouth, finding his hard nipples and licking them. He grunts and bucks his hips when I do that, holding me firmly to him "ughhhh Brooke......". His erection is pressing against me and I can feel myself getting slick and throbbing with desire for him.

Our mouths meet again and when we part to gasp for air, he looks at me, his eyes blown wide with arousal, his voice raspy "we gotta stop if you don't want this.....if we continue, I am not sure I can control myself......" and then he looks away, saying quietly "you might not want to......I'm......it has been a long time.......".

I slide my hands back over his chest and take hold of his face "I want this as much as you do, Lucas......and just relax.....follow your instincts, I think they are pretty good".

That is all the permission he needs and we exchange another wet kiss. His hands are at my side, fumbling under my cardigan and t-shirt, his eyes questioning. I nod, but decide to just help him, reaching down to shed my cardigan and quickly pull off my t-shirt off too. He gasps when my lace covered breasts are revealed to him and I feel him twitch against my core. I smirk, leaning in to lick his ear "well, thank you".

"Ohhh Brooke" and he shimmers over my rib cage, his fingers feeling warm and then he cups each orb in his strong hands, letting out an aroused moan, burying his head in my cleavage "fuck you are gorgeous....".

It feels so good the way he massages each breast and his wet tongue on my skin. I yank at his hair and press him against me at the same time, pleading "please, Lucas......".

His shaking fingers move to my back and he attempts to undo my bra, but ends up snapping it against my skin. He freezes, looking at me in horror "I'm sorry".

I giggle and kiss him "don't worry......they are such a pain and this one is the worst.....".

Relieved, I don't care, he returns the kiss and lifts an eyebrow "built in birth control?". Rolling my eyes, I reach behind me, unhooking the closure and he licks his slips, swallowing hard when my breasts spill out. I toss the bra to the floor, looking at him "better?"

He pulls me all the way against his warm chest, both of us relishing in the feel of each other and he kisses me again, running his hands up my back, tangling his fingers in my hair. My nipples rub against him and he moves his hands around, giving me a look to make sure it is okay, before he kneads each breast in his palms, flicking his thumb over my peaked flesh.

"Lucas".

Licking my neck, he huffs against me "I know.....you feel so nice" and he sticks his tongue out, tracing my areola and then gently sucks on my breast. I grab his head, feeling myself clench as it goes straight to my core. He does the same to my other breast, before I yank him up for a deep kiss.

I'm well aware of his hardness and I'm pretty sure I am soaked through my panties and yoga pants after rubbing against him. I rock my hips again and he moans into my mouth, pressing me hard against him "ohhh yeah....please.....".

Sucking on his lower lip, before pulling away, I smirk "I have a better idea...." and I move off his lap, slithering down and kneeling on the floor, between his legs. His nostrils are practically flaring and he watches me, his abs tight in anticipation. I look at him and then run a hand over his chest, my other one sliding over his thigh, both meeting at his belt. I look at the impressive tenting in his suit pants and lick my lips, grasping on to the buckle and opening it, popping the button on his pants.

His eyes are burning into me and when I lightly touch his bulge, before reaching for the zipper, he bites his lower lip, whimpering "fuck", He is wearing black boxer briefs and I lean up to first kiss his stomach and then lick my way down from his belly button. Lucas is withering, searching for leverage with one hand and tangling his fist in my hair with his other. I inhale his musky, aroused scent and then tug on the waist of his pants. He gets the hint, lifting up and I slide then down along with his underwear, his hard cock springing free, slapping against his stomach.

Our eyes meet for a second, he looks nervous and I lean up to cup his face "it's alright.....relax....". 

He kisses me hard "I....you don't have to do this.....".

"Oh, but I very much want to....I want to taste you.....unless you don't...".

Groaning, he reaches down to caress my breast, his other hand still in my hair "I think it is pretty obvious that I want that.... a lot.....I'm just nervous......it has been so long and I don't want to embarrass myself".

"You wont.....it's not a race.....just sit back and enjoy" and I squirm when the tip of him touches my stomach, leaving a sticky trail. 

He jerks away "so...sorry".

I use my finger to pick up the wetness, staring at him as I lick it off.

"Brooke!".

Kissing him quickly, I lick my way back down and I can hear him holding his breath as I reach his cock. I place the softest kiss to the very tip before licking the swollen head, pushing the foreskin all the way back with my tongue. He tightens the grip in my hair and letting out a sob of pure pleasure as I swallow him down "ohhh god....ohhhhhh".

I know this wont last long, so I attempt to give him as much pleasure as I can, hollowing my cheeks and sucking him hard, swirling my tongue around all the ridges and tracing the pulsing vein. I bop my head and then reach up to touch his sack with my hand, feeling him tighten. He is begging and cursing above "ohhh........fuck......ohhhh god.....shit.....ughhhhh".

He gives me a warning "Brooke..sorry, I can't......I'm gonna...ohhhhhh fuck, fuck......FUUUCKKK" and he comes hard as I close my mouth tightly around him, swallowing it all. I continue to stimulate him gently until he stops pulsing and he sags against the couch, letting out a breath "bloody hell".

Pulling away, I feel his soft fingers in my hair and I smile "I'm glad". Looking up at him, he looks so damn sexy, sitting shirtless on that couch, his pants pooled around his ankles and his half hard cock laying against his stomach. His eyes are closed and there is a thin sheen of sweat over his upper body

I move to get up, my knees protesting and he opens his eyes, still a bit hazy from post orgasmic bliss. He gently pulls me up and into his arms, hugging me tight, whispering in my ear, kissing right below it "that was incredible....thank you". Our foreheads rests together and our noses are touching. He hesitantly moves his lips closer to mine, unsure, but then being brave, gives me a tender kiss. I don't open my mouth, knowing some men don't like that, but Lucas is different. Once he kisses me, he comes back in, prying my lips open and grunts when he tastes himself.

We just hold each other and he mumbles lazily "I'm sorry I didn't last that long.......but fuck....that as about the hottest thing I have ever seen in my life" and he touches my hair, the clip loose and messy in the back "sorry".

Touching his face with my finger, I trace his jawline "remember it is not a race.....it doesn't matter.... as long as it was good".

"It was fantastic, Brooke..." and his eyes seek mine "probably the best blow job I have ever had....and now I need to return the favor" and he reaches down to start petting my breasts again.

RING              RING              RING

We both look at his suit coat and he mutters "damn it" and then goes back to kissing me.

RING        RING      RING

"You better get it".

He mumbles against my breast "I don't want to".

"I know you don't, but it could be something important" and I move away from him, jumping up to grab the coat, handing it to him. He reaches in the pocket, pulling his phone out, he looks at me "it's Harry".

I nod "answer it".

He does while giving me an appreciative look, holding his hand out, wanting me to come back to him and the couch. I do and he pulls me close to him, his hand caressing my naked shoulder, while he listens to Harry on the other end.

"So sorry to bother you, Lucas.......but the Baisley guy managed to escape the safe house. The CIA is freaking out and we frankly need to find him before his information falls into the wrong hands........can you meet us at the Grid ASAP?".

Lucas looks at me, aware I heard Harry and I nod at him, getting up to go get his shirt out of the dryer.

"How the hell did he manage that? Never mind that, you can tell me when I get there......I'll be there in 15 minutes" and he hangs up as I come back in, holding his shirt. 

"Here, it's all dry",

He takes it and stands up, gesturing uncertain with his other hand "look I feel like a bastard...but....".

I cut him off, coming over to place my hands on his chest and leaning up to kiss him "I know you have to go.......I heard Harry.....you are needed" and our eyes meet "I know what it's like when duty calls......you just drop everything and run" and I snort "I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me, so you don't need to explain.......that's what it is like to be with someone like you".

"And you still want to be with me?" and he looks hopeful.

"Yes I do......very much" and I snake my hand down his body, lightly touching his penis "although I hope to have this inside of me next time".

He crashes his lips against mine "ughhh, not another word....but I promise to do everything I can to make you scream my name".

"That's a deal" and we very reluctantly separate, I put on my t-shirt again and he gets his shirt on and pants back up.

We embrace each other again and exchange a few more kisses. I lean my head against his chest "be careful......text me when you can".

"I will", he caresses my back and lean down to kiss me again before he leaves, glancing back at me one last time.


	6. Chapter 6

KNOCK      KNOCK          KNOCK

I'm jolted awake by the pounding on my door, followed by "Brooke.....it's me.....Lucas.....open the door.....".

Rubbing my face, I groan and glance at the clock, it is only 07:15 in the morning and it is Saturday. I throw the covers to the side, yelling out "give me a minute.....I'm not dressed".

The smirk in his voice carries "I don't care".

I get my robe in the bathroom and trot out, trying to get my hair under control. I open the door "well, the neighbors might".

He is standing there, still in the same suit, holding up two coffees and a box from the French bakery down the street "apology breakfast?".

"Sure....but I look a bit scary at the moment" and I fiddle with my hair.

"You look fine" and he comes in, leaning down to kiss me "I still feel bad about running out on you".

We walk in the kitchen and I find a couple of plates. We sit down and I open the box, making a happy face when the two chocolate croissants and fruit tarts appear "well, you sure are forgiven with these", but then I look at him, reaching for his hand "Lucas......don't sweat it....I understand.....but how did you get up here, there are codes...".

A small smile forms on his face "one of which you punched in last night for the lift", I nod. His fingers wrap around mine and he gives me a tired smile "thank you....I just forget what you use to do......".

Taking a closer look at him, my forehead wrinkles "have you even slept yet?".

Rubbing his face, he shakes his head, reaching for the coffee "no.....it was a hectic night, but we found him, he is being watched by Beth and a CIA agent, he wont be able to get away again".

"You need to get some sleep.......".

"I'm still running on adrenaline".

"Yeah, I know.......but once that wears off you will crash". I take a sip of coffee "why don't we eat and then I will run you home, so you can shower and go to bed".

He just blurts out "I don't shower".

It takes me a minute "why?" and then it hits me, I wave my hand "sorry.....I know, I know.....". Reaching for his hand, I seek out his eyes "then have a bath, wind down and get some rest".

"It's okay....I forget sometimes too.....", he looks at our hands and then back at me "I have no right to ask you, but will you stay when you take me home?".

There is a silent plea in his eyes and I nod "of course......let me pack a few things and my laptop, I can get a little work done while you sleep".

"And we still have a date tonight, right?".

"Yes, if you let me pay".

He smiles "deal" and he leans over the table to kiss me.

We finish eating the treats. He throws the box and cups away as I put on my yoga pants, t-shirt and cardigan from yesterday and pack some things. 

Coming back out, he takes my bag and pulls me into his arms, kissing me softly "thank you".

"For what?".

"For taking me home and staying".

I lean into his solid chest, relishing in how warm he feels "you're welcome.....I missed you".

"I missed you too, Brooke" and he kisses the top of my head, sighing in contentment.

We are soon on our way and arrive shortly at his flat, which is very simple and a bit rustic. There is a kitchen and dining area that spills into a larger living room with a couch, tv and a work desk over in the one corner. I put my bag down by the coffee table and watch him as he cautiously goes to the bedroom door, looking and then opening it. 

"What?".

He looks up "oh nothing......just old habit, I set it a certain way before I leave, just in case.....".

I smile "funny......I do the same".

"I guess it never leaves you, does it?".

"Nope, just ask my poor mum, my dad drives her crazy wanting to sweep their home etc".

Lucas sheds his suit jacket, kicking off his shoes "is he in danger?".

"Well, given what he use to do for living, he always will be to a point I guess......their estate is secluded, fenced in and not listed anywhere".

"I get that" and he walks towards the kitchen "tea, coffee?".

"I'm good, Lucas......you need to get to bed" and I walk over to him, tugging on his arm "come on......sho...bath time and then bed". He pulls me flush with his body, kissing me and then nuzzling my neck, making me giggle "Lucas.....stop...ha, ha.ha.....stop.....it tickles".

"Oh yeah?" and he nibbles on my ear, his voice low and husky "care to bathe with me?".

I murmur into his mouth as our lips find each other "you are tired........".

"Not really..." and he runs his hands down my back, cupping my rear and licking my throat.

My protest turns into a moan when I feel his bulge pressing against my stomach "Lucas".

"Mmm...what, love?" and he smirks.

"You horny bastard" and we kiss again, this time deepening it even more and he drags me to the bathroom, turning on the faucet to the big tub, making sure the water temperature is just right. He turns back to me "where were we?".

"I think I was telling you how you are exhausted and need rest" and I lick his bottom lip.

"And I think I was telling you I wasn't", chasing my tongue back in my mouth and tugging on my cardigan.

"Are you arguing Mr. North?" and I unbutton his shirt, pulling it off his shoulders.

Nipping on my lip and then kissing my shoulder as he exposes my skin, he murmurs "maybe a little Dr. Campbell".

"Strip".

"Yes, ma'm" and he gets rid of the rest of his clothes, turning to me, looking expectantly "your turn".

I take off my clothes, resecuring my hair clip, don't want it to get wet.

Our eyes meet, his are dark with lust and he lets them roam over my naked body, which makes me feel self concious. I lower my head and cover my breasts with my arms, trying not to blush. He has me in his arms within the next second and he kisses me softly, lifting my chin "hey.....you are beautiful....don't hide". I loosen my arms and wrap them around him, letting out a noise when I fully feel his warm skin against mine and his hardness pressing into my stomach.

It is almost sensory overload and our mouths fuse together in a passionate kiss. I can feel his heart hammering in his chest and he is slightly trembling as he holds me. I look at him "you ok?".

His voice is low "yeah....just a bit overwhelmed.....haven't been this close to anyone in a long time" and he swallows hard, giving me a small smile "but it's nice, very nice.....".

Reaching down, I run my hand over his abs, feeling them tighten and he sighs into my mouth when I wrap my fingers around his erection, his flesh throbbing in my palm "Brooke".

I stroke him a few times "what?".

"Ughh....please.....more" and the curses fly when I stroke over his head, being rewarded with slick drops of precum "shit......fuck.....yes, just like that....".

"We should bathe" and I let him go, tugging on his arm.

"Such a tease" and he pulls me back into a deep kiss "can we continue after?".

"If you are not too tired".

Squeezing my rear, he playfully bites my shoulder "I don't think so".

He helps me in the tub and joins me, pulling me against his stomach and I lean my head on his chest, resting my hands on his meaty thighs. He wraps his arms around me, leaning his head back, exhaling "mmmm....now this is good".

"Yes it is, Lucas.........very nice".

He hums and we just sit there in the quiet. I relish in the warm water and his hard body against mine.

ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ

I turn my head and almost start to laugh, Lucas' head is way back, his mouth slightly open and he is totally asleep. Poor guy. Reaching for the soft sponge next to the soap, I lather it up and then start to just scrub him down, lifting his arms to get his armpits and then move it under the water, washing him. He jolts when I get to his groin, opening his eyes, rubbing them "sorry...I think I dozed off".

"Yes, you did....you are exhausted". I'm kneeling between his legs, quickly finishing going over his body, lifting the sponge out and wringing it dry. 

He yawns and smiles, reaching out to me and then leaning up to kiss me "thank you...you didn't need to do that, but it was nice....".

"Your welcome.....what about your hair? How do you even wash it?".

Pointing to the shower head hanging on the wall "that....." and he continues when he sees my confused look "it's the water falling from high up, like way over my head, hitting my face, that triggers me.....if I just do it with the handheld, close....it's not bad".

"That makes sense" and I get up, pushing on his shoulder "scoot out a little".

He leers at my body, which I try to ignore. I sit down on the ledge of the tub surround. He looks behind him "what are you doing?".

I get him to move back closer and then reach for the shower head, turning it on "bend your head back...I'll wash your hair if you don't mind".

"I don't" and he does as he is told, while I let the water wet his hair, being careful not to get it in his face at all. I turn it off and put some shampoo in my hands and then lather up, massaging into his head and he groans, bending his head down when I move down his neck "god that feels good......ughh". I rub his neck and then move on to his shoulder, feeling his tense muscles, doing my best to knead them out.

Staring at the *Dum Spiro Spero* in black ink where his neck meets his shoulders, I trace it with my fingers "while I breathe, I hope".

"Yeah....".

"Is that what you did while in there, day in and day out?". I rest my hands on his shoulders and move my fingers to caress his clavicle bones.

Lowering his head, he nods, saying quietly "I had to....I think if I had given up hope, I would have died.......I did give up once.....".

"That's when you tried to hang yourself?".

Sounding tired, he rubs his face "yes....the isolation, the torture, everything......it just became too much".

I lean over him, wrapping him in my arms and kissing his chin "I know.....I'm sorry....it was horrible and as I said, you are doing really well......you should be proud of that".

He turns his head, grasping my arms and kissing me, not saying anything. Our eyes meet and I see he understands. His hair is still full of shampoo and all of a sudden he gets a gleam in his eyes and the mood changes, he moves his head back to smear with the sudsy bubbles, getting them on my chest, neck and then in my mouth my accident.

I sputter and he whips around, his eyes going big with horror "Brooke! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to get it in your face.....shit". He reaches for the shower head, turning it back on and carefully rinsing my face and letting me get my mouth. He looks at me "I'm sorry".

Cupping his face, I lean down to kiss him "it's alright....I know you didn't mean to" and I hold out my hand "maybe we better get you rinsed out too, huh?". He turns back around, putting his head back so I can rinse out his hair. 

We both stand up after, the plug pulled in the tub and we quickly rinse off before getting out. He gets out first, lending me a hand and then a towel. Drying off, I unclip my hair, shaking it out and he brushes his teeth and go pull on some underwear. I grab my bag in the living room, finding fresh panties and slipping them on, along with a t-shirt and then I remember, talking to him as I walk back in the bedroom "oh, let me bandage your wound back up.....it looks pretty good".

He is sitting on the edge of the bed, in his black boxer briefs and a sleeveless black undershirt halfway pulled over himself. The fatigue is setting in, he looks totally exhausted now. He nods "sure....thanks......" and points to the bathroom "first aid kit under the sink".

I retrieve it and then sit down next to him, making him turn his back. The grazing bullet wound is scabbing over nicely and doesn't look infected. I find a bigger patch bandaid, applying it and helping him get his undershirt the rest of the way on. He handle his service weapon, securing it, before putting it on the nightstand. "Do you always have it there?".

"Actually usually under my pillow" and he gestures "habit I guess........does it bother you?".

I lay my hand on his thigh "no, no......I use to have one on my nigthstand....I still have a permit to have a weapon, it is now in my underwear drawer".

He smiles "thanks for telling me....in case I ever go roaming for sexy things in your flat" and he leans in to steal another kiss.

"Funny, Lucas.....". I throw the sheets to the side "you really need to get some sleep". 

Sighing, he rubs his face "I know.....I was really hoping to continue our sexy time, but I better take a rain check on that" and he gives me puppy eyes "will you at least lay down with me...just for a little while?".

I coo "awww, you want me to tug you in? And a bedtime story too?".

He grabs me around the waist, totally surprising me and tossing me into the bed, quickly pinning me "hilarious.......", but his eyes meet mine and they are almost pleading "please?".

I touch his day old scruff, our eyes meeting "of course".

"Thank you" and he lowers himself for a tender kiss and then we get ourselves situated. He lays on his back, my hand on his chest, encased in his and I am on my side, facing him, really close. He finally relaxes and exhales deeply, turning his head to kiss me again and I can already see his eyes getting droopy.

"G'night, Lucas......".

"Mmmmm" is all he gets out before he is out cold. I watch him for a little bit, drinking in his handsome face and how long his eyelashes look against his pale skin. He looks peaceful and breathes deeply, evenly. I listen and feel his steady heartbeat as my hand rests on his chest and I soon drift off to sleep too.

 

KNOCK      KNOCK         KNOCK

I sit up, getting my bearings within a few seconds, remembering where I am and who's bed I'm laying in. Lucas is sleeping like a rock, his one arm over his eyes, the other hand still holding mine. He snores loudly a couple of times and I stifle a giggle.

KNOCK   KNOCK   KNOCK    KNOCK

Then a female voice is heard through the door "Lucas! It's Sarah! Open up! I know you are in there!".

KNOCK KNOCK  KNOCK

I shake his arm, leaning down to his ear "Lucas! Someone is at the door".

Nothing.

KNOCK KNOCK   "Lucas! I'm going to break in if you don't open up.....come on! Stop playing hard to get".

I hiss in his ear "LUCAS! The door!".

He snorts and then stumbles out of bed, reaching for his gun. He looks at me wild "what? What's about the the door?". 

His hair is a bit messy since he slept on it wet and he has an impressive erection. I hide my amusement and points towards the door, saying quietly "someone is there......I think it might be that crazy Sarah from CIA.....she said she is going to break in".

"Shit" and he fumbles for some running pants in his closet, putting them on after laying his gun back down. He yells out "give me a minute". He turns to me, putting his finger over his lips and I just nod.  He walks out there, after almost closing the door to the bedroom. I hear him unlocking the front door and saying rather harshly "what?".

"Ohh hey, Lucas....I just came by to see how you are doing? I know it was a long night and I am wondering if I can take you to lunch?".

"I'm fine and no thanks, I was actually sleeping before you about beat down my door" and he sounds annoyed.

"I'm sorry.....I was just worried about you, that's all", her voice dripping with fake sweetness "can I come in for a minute?".

"I'd rather you not.....I'm exhausted and I am on call tonight".

"Well, how about we go out sometime......I really want to get to know you".

"I'm flattered, I really am, Sarah.....but I'm not going out with anyone right now.....".

The coldness creeps into her voice as he rejects her "oh really? It sure looked like you went out last night with that woman", the last words almost spit out, followed by "who is she anyway? I tried to ask Ros and Beth, but they claimed they didn't know......which I find hard to believe".

"It is none of your business who she is......she is entitled to her privacy and since you are asking, yes, I did go out with her last night and intend to do it again".

She almost purrs "oh come on, Lucas....I'm sure I am better than her......I could show you a really good time".

His voice is ice cold "she already did.....I'm going back to bed....please ring before you stop by again" and I hear him close the door rather suddenly with a slam. Angry footsteps follow and he rips the bedroom door open, steam almost coming out of his ears, his nostrils flaring. He gives me an angry look and I turn my head, trying not to laugh. He hastily shed his running pants and gets back in bed, reaching for me so he can see my face. He looks appalled "it's not funny, she is horrible".

I touch his face "it isn't......ok, maybe a little......you could have been nicer......she really wants your ass, she sounded very insisting".

Making a face, he leans down to kiss me and sighs "she is....but that's not getting her anywhere........ever".

"She sure wants to know who I am too".

Rolling his eyes, he pulls a strand of hair out of my face "I know.....but I really don't want her finding out or bothering you".

"Is she dangerous?".

He thinks for a minute "I don't know to be honest, don't know her at all.......Ros says she is a pain in the arse....", he reaches for his phone on the nightstand "but as a precaution...", he hits speed dial, holding it to his ear, waiting for it to be answered "hey Tariq....it's Lucas........I'm fine...thanks for asking....hey can you flag Brooke Campbell's file? ... uhu.....and let me know if anyone tries to access it.... I'll talk to Harry about it on Monday......thanks.....bye" and he hangs up.

"It that really necessary?" and I lazily trace the tatttoo on the lower part of his right arm.

"I hope not, but better safe than sorry....." and he studies my face.

"I guess..." and I yawn, letting out a groan "now I feel all sluggish...". I look at him "you need to go back to bed.....I heard you are on call tonight".

"I lied".

"Lucas!" and I look offended.

He starts to laugh and pulls me close, his nose touching mine "I just wanted her to go.....I only want to go out with one person".

"Oh yeah?" and I my arms go up around him , touching his bare shoulders.

"Yeah....", he kisses me and continues down my throat "she is sweet, sexy, understanding and has the hottest body...". I tangle my hands in his messy hair, inhaling sharply when I feel his warm hand shimmer up under my t-shirt. He touches my side, making me squirm, then places his entire palm over my breast. I moan, yanking at his hair, bringing him back up for a wet kiss. He rubs his thumb over my nipple, I wither under him and he groans when he feels it harden under his touch "Brooke".

I'm busy too, pulling on the sheet, getting it out of the way and he ends up on top of me as I open my hips to him. We both moan and my arousal makes my stomach clench when I feel him harden against my folds. I wrap my legs around him, rocking my hips against him and his resolve snaps along with mine. 

Pulling on his undershirt, I manage to get it off his head and toss it to the floor and he grabs the hem of my t-shirt, yanking it up and I hold my arms up, so he can take it off. We look at each other for a second and then his eyes go down, falling on my naked breasts and I feel him twitch against me. We kiss again and then his licks over my collarbone and reaches up to touch my breast again.

It feels so good and when he replaces his hand with his mouth, I feel wetness pool between my legs as he sucks on my nipple "ohhh Lucas".

He can't help but rut against me, pressing his hardness at my clit, creating some delicious friction. I slide my hands down, dipping into the underwear and cupping his naked rear. He thrusts harder, arching his back "ughhh god..".

"Please, Lucas.....I want you".

Panting, he looks at me, his eyes full of need "I want you too, darling.......but let me get you there first....don't want to be an ass and finish before you do".

"It's ok, I just want you to fuck me".

The look he gives me is pure lust and he kisses me hard again, before moving to the side and looping a finger around my panties "may I?".

"Only if you take yours off too" and I move a hand down to cup his impressive bulge, feeling the wet spot in the front. He presses into my hand, moaning "ohhhhh", but then remembers what he was going to do, waving a finger at me "you keep distracting me".

"So?" and I slide a couple of fingers under the elastic wasteband of his underwear, lightly brushing over the top of his cock.

We lock eyes and then we help each other get rid of the offending undergarments, tossing them to the floor. I have seen him before and he is big and beautiful as he sits up on his legs, looking down at me, his cock standing proud, a string of fluid hanging from the very tip.

His eyes roam over my body and down between my legs as he slowly push them apart. I am glistening wet and he twitches when he sees it, which makes me clench inside with need. He leans over my body, kissing me again, his voice low and aroused "you are so gorgeous....all of you".

I pull on his shoulder, wanting him close, but he stops me "no, not yet....I still owe you from yesterday, but before we go any further, I need to go find my survival kit.....I think there are some rubbers in there, standard issue for all intelligence officers".

Touching his arm, I stop him, our eyes meeting "it's alright....those are horrible by the way...I am on the pill, have been for many years and as you know, I haven't been with anyone for a long time....you probably read in my file my last doctors appointments, test etc".

"I don't mind, Brooke.....but yes, I did".

I trace over his chest and the Blake tattoo "I like it better without....I want to feel all of you and I know you haven't been with anyone either for a while".

He makes a face "make that 8 years plus...".

Pulling on his arm, I look into his eyes, saying softly "it really is ok.....".

Kissing me deeply, his nose touching mine, he cups my face gently "as long as you are fine with it".

"I am..." and I try to get him back on top of me, but he shakes his head, lifting a finger "not so fast.....I'm going to make you cum first, I'm not the bastard like you might think from yesterday, that runs out as soon as you are done blowing me...".

"You got a call, Lucas....I..", but it turns into a moan when he parts my legs again, laying down between them and licking me softly from opening to clit, swirling his tongue around my sensitive nob "ohhhhhhh".

I grab his short hair, trying not to yank on it, but closing my thighs around his head, lifting my hips a little, desperate to feel his wet, velvety tongue. All coherent thoughts go out the window as he licks and sucks, alternating the speed and pressure of his tongue. He hums, lapping at my opening and then back up to my swollen flesh. My body tightens, the pressure is building and I hold his head in place, begging "please don't stop....ohhh right there....Lucas, please....more....ohh, ohhhh..."

"OHhhhhhhhhh", I come with a cry and he lets me ride it out, lightly pleasuring me through the entire orgasm until I sag back into the mattress, boneless and satisfied.

He slithers up my body, his grinning face coming into view, his chin glistening wet. He hesitates for a moment, before he hungrily kisses me and I taste myself on his tongue. He is throbbing against my slick folds and I moan when he slides his head over my clit a couple of times, it is super sensitive, but it feels so good. 

We kiss with passion and he slides back a little, his tip catching on my entrance and he tries to press inside, but everything is so wet, he misses, his swollen head hitting my pearl again. He groans in slight frustration and I lift my hips, because it actually feels really good. We lock eyes and I reach between us, gently guiding him to my opening and he carefully starts to enter, watching my face for any sign of discomfort.

I am so aroused and just want him inside of me, I grab his rear and adjust my hips, causing him to slide all the way in. He supports himself on his arms and buries his head in my neck, gritting his teeth as he bottoms out with a low grunt "ohh god....".

He is big, but it feels just right having him deep inside and I wrap my legs around him, our lips meeting again before he starts to move. He thrusts slow at first, but he picks up the pace soon enough, me moaning as he fucks me and encouraging him, my hands clawing at his back and butt "ohhhh......harder, Lucas.....more......fuck me.....".

"Brooke......fuck it's good.....ughhh......ohhh, ohhhh......", he grasps my thigh, trying to slow down and I can tell he is holding back.

I reach for his face, sweat forming on his forehead "it's ok....just let go.......".

Our eyes meet "I...I'm sorry...I....ohhh fuck.....don't know if......".

"Then don't...." and I squeeze my internal muscles around him, changing the angle, so he goes even deeper.

He pounds into me and I feel him go even harder and then arching his back, two more strokes and he comes, pulsing warm deep inside of me "fuck, fuck....FUUCCK...". He collapses against me, our chests pounding and I hold him tight, feeling his sweaty skin under my fingers.

We just lay there, slowly letting our breathing return to normal and he finally lifts his head, his lips seeking out mine and he looks at me "bloody hell".

I smile and move a sweaty strand of hair out of his face "I second that.....it was very nice".

He lets out a breath "wow...." and then he looks concerned "was it ok? I mean you didn't cum with me.....".

"It was wonderful, Lucas and you did take care of me before.....despite what the porn movies want you to believe, most women don't cum like that.......".

"True..." and he looks away.

I gently lift his chin "what? You embarrassed about admitting to watching porn?".

A slight blush creeps up on his cheeks "ehh....no....", then he looks defeated "maybe a little......." and he rolls off me, laying on his back, staring at the ceiling, he is shutting down.

"Lucas...hey" and I roll to my stomach, ignoring the mess between my legs. I prop myself up on an elbow, lightly reaching out to caress his chest "please don't shut me out......and it's not embarrassing.....I think most men look at that stuff, especially if they are single.....easy way to get off".

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and then turns to look at me, his one hand coming up to close around mine. His eyes are hurt and haunted, he swallows and then speaks quietly "I honestly thoughtI would never enjoy any kind of sexual stimulation again.....", another deep swallow "they...they...." and he gestures helplessly with his hand, his eyes welling up with tears. He turns his head angrily, trying to hide them. 

I scoot all the way over to him, wrapping my arms around him, my head on his shoulder "it's ok......I know what they did to you....with the car battery and your genitals..... please don't be ashamed of the tears".

I feel his arms go around me and he pulls me onto his chest, just holding me tight. He doesn't say anything for a long time, we just breathe together. He sniffles and lets out a sigh, his voice breaking "thank you....I feel like such a fool....". 

Lifting my head, I look at him "why?".

"Because we just had amazing sex and then I turn it into a therapy session" and he snorts.

I caress his chin, looking into his eyes "that's not the way I look at it at all" and I kiss him "we did have amazing sex and now we are talking, that is what couples do, Lucas....or at least couples that want a relationship that works".

"So are we are couple now?".

"I would very much hope so.....I told you I don't do one night stands".

He runs his hand down my back, coming to rest on my rear "that's not how I meant it, Brooke.....I'm sorry...".

"I know what you meant and I want us to work.....I like all of you, baggage and all".

A small smile forms on his face and he cups mine "I really like you too.....a lot.....", he hesitates for a moment, but then continues "I use to wake up in prison with a hard on, because......well, your body does what it does, and as soon as I realized it, it would trigger....I'll remember the pain, the bruising....".

I just listen, just touching his face, encouraging him to continue "so when I got home...after a month or two, I finally got the courage to explore that part a little bit, looked at porn to see if I even would feel anything at all....".

"And?".

Another sigh "I did.....but I pretty much had to figure it all out again, like a teenager......what I liked and didn't like......any kind of rough sex, where there is any indication of force or violence.....it just makes me loose it, turns me off".

"That would make sense....".

"I guess...:, his voice trails off.

We kiss again and it deepens a bit, I'm trying to express my feelings for him that way and I think he gets the message. We finally break for air, my forehead against his  "well, I'm sure glad you you figured it out".

"Me too" and he makes a face "and I'm sorry....I think I left you a sticky, wet mess..." and he gently rolls us over, getting up "don't move...". He makes a run to the bathroom, returning with a wet wash cloth and a small towel. He sits down and proceeds to wipe me clean, between my legs and thighs, drying me carefully with the towel. 

I sit up when he is done, embracing him and exchanging a soft kiss "thank you". I take the cloth from him and push him down, wiping him clean and patting him dry. I mop up the spot on the bed and he takes the dirty rags, tossing them back in the bathroom.

He turns to me and holds out his arm "come here, love". I lay down next to him and he puts his arm around me as I lay my head on his shoulder.

Sighting in contentment, I lazily trace my finger over his chest and look up at the skylight above the bed "you love that, don't you?".

"Yeah....you sure take seeing the sky for granted.....but after not seeing it often for 8 years, it serves as a reminder every day, that I am free and to go live my live and not loose another moment".

"I like that....I like that a lot".

We snuggle in bed a while longer and Lucas eventually drifts off to sleep again. I watch him for a little bit, before I quietly untangle myself from him and get up to get dressed, finding a pair of jeans and a sweater in my bag. I sit down at his small dining table, turning on the computer and answer some emails and write a couple of reports.

I get up and make some tea, looking outside, it's raining again and really doesn't look that inviting. The apartment feels cozy, but it is pretty sparse, nothing would indicate what kind of person lives here, but I guess he is hardly ever here, other than to shower and sleep. Work is his life and he lives at the Grid. I sit down to write a few more reports and looking at my calendar ahead. Christmas is coming up, but I think I am almost done with my gift buying.

Another hour goes by and I get up to wash my tea cup. The bedroom door creaks open and I soon feel a pair of arms wrapping around me from behind, his warm body against my back and he kisses my neck, his voice raspy from sleep "hey.....sorry I fell asleep again".

I turn my head so our lips can meet in a tender kiss and he flips me around so he can really hug me. He is only wearing his boxer briefs and the tank top. I mumble into his chest "it's fine........you really needed the rest".

He yawns before nuzzling my neck "I guess". He glances outside and shutters "beautiful London Christmas weather again, huh?".

"Yeah.....I didn't bring an umbrella, but maybe we can drive somewhere for supper?".

Looking at me, he thinks for a minute "or we could be totally boring and just order in.....there are a few descent places around that will deliver".

"That works for me....what do you suggest?".

He walks over to the fridge, taking down the big magnetic paperclip with the stack of menus, handing it to me "pretty much anything from any of these". I lift an eyebrow and he just shrugs "I hate cooking for one".

"I hear you" and I flip through them, there are lots of choices. I lean against the counter "I don't know......I'll eat almost anything....what did you miss the most in prison and you still love today?".

He smiles, it brings fond memories I guess "fish and chips........Harry stopped and got it for me after I got handed over, it was just as good as I imagined, with vinegar on the chips".

"I love that too, so lets order that".

 We spend a quiet evening eating fish and chips wrapped in newspaper, swapping crazy work stories and then retiring early for bed. He is still exhausted and out cold as soon as his head hits the pillow. I snuggle up to him and fall asleep too.

  


	7. Chapter 7

I wake up when someone lightly kisses my lips, whispering in my ear "Brooke....breakfast is served".

"Mmmm......" and I slowly open my eyes, looking into his bright blue ones "Lucas".

"Morning, love......hungry?" and he nips at my lip and smiles.

Stretching, I yawn and then feel his strong arm around me, helping me up, into a sitting position. I return the smile and cup his face, his rough stubble tickling my fingers "sure, I can eat something".

He is sitting on the edge of the bed, just in his boxer briefs and that undershirt. He finally looks well rested and content. He gestures towards a dining chair he brought in "I didn't have a fancy tray, so this is it". He hands me a warm cup of coffee and sets a glass of orange juice on the nightstand.

The smell of the coffee hits my nostrils and I inhale "thank you.....you sure know how to woo a girl" and I look at the plate he is handing me: a prefect egg sunny side up, two pieces of bacon, some cut up strawberries and some toast with butter. "It looks delicious....you had all that in your fridge?".

A smirk form on his handsome face "well, the girl really wooed me in bed yesterday" and he leans in to kiss me "and no, my fridge is mostly empty, but luckily the local market is just around the corner".

"It was very nice, Lucas.....".

He grabs his own plate and gets in bed, sitting cross legged across from me and we eat our breakfast, quietly talking.

"So since you lied about being on call....any plans for today?".

Putting his plate back on the chair, after finishing, he sips his coffee "no...not really and I had to lie....or she would have insisted on staying".

I nod "probably.....she seems awful".

"She is.....I can't stand her" and he reaches for my plate so he can put it away "any plans today? I'm sorry if I ruined your weekend by begging for come home with me".

Placing my mug back on the nightstand, I scoot over to him, cupping his face and kissing him "don't apologize...it was worth it...thank you for breakfast, it was yummy".

He pulls me into a hungry kiss, tangling his hands in my messy hair and we devour each other until we have to come up for air. He sighs into the crook of my neck and chuckles.

"What?".

Shaking his head, he looks at me "oh nothing......just happy, didn't know if I could feel like this ever again" and his lips seeks out mine again "but you didn't answer.......any plans today?".

"Well, I was going to go see my folks, go for a ride.......want to join me?".

"Serious?".

"Yes, I'm serious or I wouldn't have asked......it's a nice way to spend the afternoon and my mum will serve lunch". I recognize the hesitation in his face and place a hand on his arm "and don't sweat it, my father is just John, not the MI6 Chief anymore".

"He is Sir John Cunningham, Brooke".

"That's a title.....and while it means a great deal to him, it is not something he makes a fuss about......please just come, it'll be fun".

Lucas looks at me, his eyes displaying so much love and he traces my chin with a finger "ok, I will....if they are ok with it".

I reach for my phone, sending a quick text "they will be fine....maybe a bit surprised"

"Why?".

"Because I haven't brought anyone up there....ever.......I know they want me to find someone, but they don't push and stay out of my business....mostly....".

He lifts an eyebrow while he plays with my hair "meaning?".

"Meaning that they don't say anything directly, but will mention some guy here and there, making sure to tell me he is single and available".

"So trying to be subtle, huh?".

"Very...".

He gets serious "I really care about you a lot, Brooke......I hope you know that....", he pauses and then locks eyes with me "it's been liberating to talk to you....you get it....more than anyone else I know...".

"I care about you too, Lucas.......so much......".

Our lips crash together again and we are soon tugging at each others clothes. I pull off his undershirt first, running the palms of my hands down his chest, following with my mouth. He grunts and hooks his hand under the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it over my head. His breath gets caught in his throat when my breasts spill out and he pulls me all the way into his lap and I maneuver around so I am straddling him.

We are both panting and I let out a moan when I feel him rapidly growing hard against me. His warm hands shimmer up my sides and he cups each orb, bending down to lick the soft skin between them and then goes lower, circling my nipple with his wet tongue. I grab his hair "ohhh Lucas...".

"Mmmmm, so nice" and he sucks the peak, sending jolts of pure pleasure directly between my legs, the familiar throbbing beginning and I rub against his bulge. His hands go down my back, cupping my rear and holding me firmly to him and he groans "fuck".

I claw at his back, throwing my head back when I feel him twitch against my core. I push him down on the bed, giving him a hungry look when I see the lust in his eyes as he follows my bouncing breasts. He touches them again, rubbing his calloused thumbs over each hard peak, making me stop to catch my breath as it makes my inner walls clench in want and need. I whimper "ohhhh".

His voice is low "like that?".

"Fuck yes..." and I sit down on his bulge again, moaning when I feel how hard he is.

Pulling me into his arms, his captures my lips in a hungry kiss, muttering as he slides his hands down my back, tugging at my panties "too much clothes".

I chase his tongue, both of us dueling for dominance as we devour each other. The passion building between us. We finally break to get some air and I lift my hips, so he can slide the offending undergarment off my body, he tosses them to the side. His hand is on my thigh and he moves it back up, sliding it between my legs and he swallows when he feels how wet I am, letting out a strangled noise "ughh".

Whimpering, I press against his fingers as he slides them around my slick folds "Lucas" and I buck when he makes contact with my swollen knob.

He is breathless "ohhh Brooke....fuck I want you".

We kiss again before I pull away a little, sucking on his lower lip and then continue nipping down his throat, his stubble prickling my own lips in a delicious kind of way. I playfully bite his shoulder and then lick over his chest, finding his hard nipples and biting one gently. A groan rips from the mouth and he arches up "shit". I guess he really likes that. I do it again and he practically begs, tangling his hand in my hair "Brooke....please" and he pushes me south.

I know what he wants and I look back up at him "easy....I'll get there, I promise".

He wiggles under me as I continue my descend, feeling his rock hard abs under my fingers and then he squirms when I lick his belly button. I slide down on his legs, my face soon lining up with his impressive bulge in his boxer briefs. I can smell his musky aroused scent and see the wet spot forming where his tip is pressed tightly against the fabric and it fills me with a raging desire for him. I tease him, licking along the waistband of his underpants for a moment before taking pity on him.

Hooking my fingers under the elastic as he lifts his hips, I take off his underwear, tossing them somewhere over my shoulder. He lets out a hiss in relief as his erection is freed. He is panting and I look at him as he lays there, all sprawled out for me, bare as the day he was born and very aroused. His cock is hard, bending toward his navel, the head peaking out from the foreskin, glistening with precum. I slide my hands up his thigs and he spreads his legs, pleading "please...".

My hands reach his sack and I roll each ball gently, which makes him whimper and he tightens under my touch, his cock twitching in response. I move up, licking a wide trail from his base to his tip, ending in me gently sucking on the very tip. He bucks, which catches me by surprise and he pulls out of my mouth, apologizing "shit....so...sorry".

I crawl all the way up, my lips finding his and I cup his face "it's ok".

His eyes are a deep shade of blue, his pupils blown wide "I ...I just can't....it's so arousing what you are doing....."

He pulls me into a hungry kiss and we both moan when I move my legs to straddle him again, my wet core sliding over his hardness. I rub my self against him, his head touching my clit in a very arousing way. He feels it too and moves a hand down to hold my rear while he thrusts against me "ohhh fuck, Brooke"

"Lucas".

I adjust a little, finding just the right position and set a steady rhythm with my hips, making his hardness touch me in all the right places every time. We continue to kiss as we move together and I feel the tension in my body growing. My wetness mixes with his precum and I speed up, panting "fuck....ohhhh.......close..."

He grabs my face "please, let me be inside of you when you cum....I want to feel it".

I nod and slow down, kissing him again and then sitting up, reaching between us, guiding him to my entrance. I press down slowly, adjusting to his girth and length, my eyes almost rolling back in my head as our hips meet.

He takes hold of my hips and curses "oooohhhhhhhh fuck that feels good".

We lock eyes for a moment, before I slide up and down his shaft a few times, both of us moaning from the pure pleasure of being joined like this. I adjust, leaning forward a little and he reaches between us, seeking out my clit with his fingers, supporting me with his other hand on hip as I start to move again. His thumb brushes over my sensitive pearl every time and I soon find myself back on the edge.

My eyes are close as I ride him, just feeling every inch of him and hearing him pant underneath me. I moan every time he slides into me and his voices mixes with mine "ughhh, Brooke.......shit.....feels so good.....ohhh....getting close".

All I can do is nod and then move faster, letting out a strangled cry as I climax around his cock "ohhhh, ohhhhh....ohhhhhh". I convulse, gripping him and moaning into his ear as he pulls me into his arms, holding me tight. He thrust his hips upward, pounding into me hard, prolonging my intense pleasure and he follows me over the edge, flooding me with his release in long spurts as he groans in the crook of my neck "fuck, fuck....fuuuuuck..........ohhh god".

I totally collapse in his embrace, our chests heaving against each other and we just lay there for a few moments. He slowly caresses my back and I let out a breath, finally lifting my head and looking at him. His eyes are closed, but he looks deeply satisfied and his eyes sparkle when he opens them to meet mine. His face breaks into a grin and he moves a strand of hair from my face, lifting his head to kiss me tenderly.

Returning the kiss, I smile "good?".

He sighs in total contentment, nodding slowly "it was hot as fuck" and he hesitates for a moment, before saying quietly "I have honestly never felt a woman come like that around me, it was amazing".

I snort "I think you have slept with the wrong women then.......".

Nibbling on my lip, he cups my face "maybe or I just didn't know or cared enough, but this was something else........wow" and he chuckles.

"It was really good, Lucas....thank you".

"I think I'm the one thanking you" and he rolls us over, looking down at me "you are amazing".

We exchange a few more kisses before he carefully pulls from me, reaching for a towel in his nightstand and cleans us up the best he can. We snuggle for a bit longer, not saying much, but just sharing soft kisses and touching each other softly. He finally leads me to the bathroom for a bath together and we get ready for the day.

I am clipping my hair up in front of the mirror in the bathroom when he comes up to hug me from behind, wrapping his strong arms around me. He nuzzles my neck and I feel his warm skin against my back, He is just wearing his jeans. Our eyes meet in the mirror and I turn my head to kiss him "mmm what?".

"Nothing.....just happy you are here....thankful I found you".

"Me too, Lucas".

We are soon on the way, heading north on the motorway, I'm driving since I know where we are heading. He rests his big hand on my tights clad upper thigh, sending me small smiles whenver I turn my head to look at him. We pass another small village, their main street all decorated for Christmas. I gesture "so any big plans for Christmas?".

He hesitates for a moment "no...not really....I was actually going to volunteer to cover the shift on the Grid....to let everyone else be with their families".

I glance at him "look it is none of my business, but do you not want to go see your parents?".

Silence.

I can almost hear his brain working overtime, then he finally answers "well...I don't know......it's been complicated since I got home.....was actually complicated before I got imprisoned..".

"Care to talk about it?".

Pause.

Deep breath "yeah, but there is not much to say...as I am sure you have read in my file, I'm an only child, my dad is a minister in a small village east of here......mum is a school teacher. They are good people, we just don't understand each other.....or maybe it is more like, I don't know what to tell them about what I do......I really can't tell them anything".

"Do they know you work for MI5?".

"Yes......Harry gave me permission when I joined, he felt they needed to know......he would call them at least twice a year for those 8 years, trying to keep them informed and told them to not give up hope".

"So what happened when you got released?".

"Well, I got thrown into work almost right away, but they did come see me the few days they kept me in the hospital......mum cried and I could tell my dad was moved to see me too. We talked a little, but it was just difficult.....they were almost strangers to me.....".

"And now?".

"I try to call once a week, but it usually a lot less frequent than that", he thinks for a moment "I actually haven't talked to them for 2 weeks......it's just brief, they ask how I am and I them and then we end it".

"Wish it was different?" and I look over at him, seeing this has started all sorts of thoughts in his head.

"I guess.....but I don't know how to even do that.....I don't know how to be their son, I can't tell them about my work, which is my life....".

"Maybe you don't need to, Lucas......ever thought that maybe it is enough for them to just see you, knowing you are ok?".

Pause.

"No....not really......but what would we talk about?" and he gestures.

"I don't know....just their lives, what interest them.......did you see them more when you were married?".

"A little, but it felt forced in a way....they liked her well enough, but she....it was just difficult, she came from a very different culture....".

"I know, Lucas.....she was Russian...I read your file, remember....".

"Yeah...I know".

We drive in silence until we turn down a wider road, up a hill and then through a forested area until we pull up to a big iron gate. I roll the window down and tap on top of what looks like a light post. It slides open and a glass plate raises up and I place my hand on it, waiting for the red right to pass over. A few seconds and the big gate starts to open just as the glass plate disappears again.

I look at Lucas and his eye are taking it all in "pretty fancy".

"Well, when you use to hunt some of the most notorious terrorists and bad people around the world, I guess that is what is needed" and I drive through the gate, continue on the road, making another turn and the estate comes into view. The main house is a two story brick building, surrounded by several stables and a big indoor arena and pastures spreading on both sides. A few horses are out, covered with their winter blankets.

Lucas is flappergasted "wow...did I make the wrong choice by working for MI5......Harry lives in a nice, but not fancy house.......".

I shake my head "no, you didn't.....this is all old money.......my grandfather was a stock market broker and did very well......my father was born into privilege but decided to serve his country instead, which caused some friction between him and his father.....but they did make peace before Grandpa passed away".

"Says a lot about your father".

I park the car in front of the main door, setting it in park. I turn to Lucas "it does......country before anything else, a rare trait these days, but something him and Harry sure share to the fullest......ready? Welcome to the Cunningham home".

"They sure do and instill that same pride and sense of duty in their people". He takes a deep breath, reaching for my hand and leaning over to cup my face gently, kissing me softly "I guess.....and thank you for talking to me and bringing me here".

Returning the kiss, I relish in his soft lips and his scent that is so distinctly his "your welcome......shall we?".

He nods and we both get out of the car. I pause and inhale the crisp air that surrounds this place and then we walk up to the door, but we don't need to knock, it swings open and my father's tall figure comes into view along with his big grin "Brooke, sweetie!". He pulls me into a tight hug and our eyes meet when we part, his twinkling "good to see you......we missed you".

"I was here last weekend, dad....".

"I know, but it's never long enough" and he turns his attention to Lucas, who looks nervous, standing there. My father motions for us to please come in and we step into the impressive entry, two stair cases leading to the upstairs. He extends his hand, saying warmly "Lucas North.......an honor to welcome you to our home......glad you could join Brooke".

Lucas returns the firm handshake "thank you, Sir Cunningham......the honor is all mine...you are a legend".

My dad shrugs "nah...I think it is mostly talk and please call me John......the other stuff is way too formal for me......but please come in......lunch is ready in the sun room I am told".

We follow him into the the living room and step down into the almost all glass room, attached to the back of the house. A koi pond sits n the middle, the gentle trickling sounds of the water filling the room. My mum looks up as she sets a plate down, breaking into a smile and she comes to hug me "Brooke...".

"Mum....thanks for serving lunch" and I turn to gesture "please meet Lucas".

"Mrs. Cunningham....pleasure to meet you and thank you for the invitation". He takes my mum's hand and bends down to kiss her on the cheek.

She blushes and smiles at him, touching his cheek "pleasure is all ours, Lucas and please.....just call me Marie".

My dad comes to stand next to her, putting his arm around her and then looking at the table "it looks delicious, love" and he gestures "please have a seat and dig in......I know you want to go riding and make it back to London at a descent time.......I assume it is a regular work day tomorrow?".

Lucas holds the chair out for me as we both nod and I take a seat "yeah....it is and as you know, bad guys don't slow down just because it is the holidays" and I motion in Lucas' direction.

Pouring red wine in our glasses, my dad chuckles "very true" and he looks at Lucas "how is Harry holding up?"

"He is good, keeps everyone on their toes....".

"Good, good.......don't think Harry knows how not to do that and then he has Ruth of course.........".

Lucas smiles "he does......".

I can't help but pipe up "I wish they would just marry already". Whipping his head around, Lucas looks at me in shock, but I place a hand over his on the table, smiling "oh don't look so shocked......it is no secret here how those two truly feel about each other".

He turns his hand over to softly wrap his fingers around mine, watching me carefully to make sure it is ok. He says quietly "well, their love and deep connection is blinding and I do wonder why they haven't".

My mom passes the salad "I think it is because that would likely force one of them to either retire or move department and they make such a good team, both on and off work.....a rarity in that line of work".

He nods in agreement "very true....we are either never married or divorced, it is a different life....".

My dad takes a sip of his wine and then drapes his arm around my mother's chair, giving her an affectionate look "yes it is.....I guess that makes us very lucky".

I look at them both, struck by the deep love they display for each other and it makes me smile. Lucas squeezes my hand, jolting me out of my thoughts and I take the meat pie dish from him as he gives me a look, a tiny smirk forming in the corner of his mouth.

We all start to eat, a nice salad and my mum's homemade meat pie. Lucas take a bite and then can't help it "Mrs. Cunn....I mean Marie....this is really good, maybe the best I have ever had".

She smiles "thank you.......Brooke told me you love meat pie".

"I do....one of the things I missed the most.....", then he stops, realizing his just let his thoughts wander and quickly looks down at the plate again and continue to eat.

My dad lifts his glass "I bet you did.." and he looks at Lucas "we all know about your Russian ordeal in this house....remember, Harry is a close friend, almost like my brother and he was distraught until the day you came home".

Lucas looks uncomfortable, but lifts his glass "no sure what to say to that....".

"Nothing.......just know that people did care, worry and sometimes even prayed for your safe return".

"Thank you".

I slide my hand under the table, resting it on Lucas' thigh and he grasps it, his fingers trembling slightly. I turn to give him a reassuring smile and he returns it. His eyes display so much affection and love, it makes me blush a little. I look down and then back up, seeing my parents just staring at us both, I gesture with the hand Lucas is not holding "what?".

My dad beams "nothing......but congrats......we are both really happy you have found each other.....I think it is safe to say, you both deserve some happiness and light in your lives".

We finish lunch and then help clear the table, carrying stuff in the kitchen. Lucas goes back out for the last bit, leaving my mum and I in the kitchen. She stops and turns to me "you love him already, don't you?".

"Yeah, is it that obvious?".

"Yes, it is blinding".

I rolls my eyes and load the dishwasher "great....I don't want to scare him....I'm the first relationship he has had since he got home......he was nervous about starting it, so......".

"I wouldn't worry too much, Brookie" and she gives me a smile, handing me some more silverware.

"Why?".

"I think he feels the same way.....the way he looks at you......it's blinding and there seem to be a deep trust between you".

"I do trust him with my life, but not sure if he feels the same way....he has been through a lot".

"I can only imagine......but don't under estimate a woman's love....he looked very content, sitting there holding your hand and giving you sappy smiles".

"Oh mum....".

"What? It's the truth".

I shake my head as we finish cleaning up the kitchen and then look around "did Dad and Lucas get lost?".

 

Lucas walks back in the sunroom to grab the last dishes, My father is standing over by the windows, looking out over the fields and the forest in the background. He has his wine glass in hand. He turns "Lucas".

"Sir?" and he walks closer, looking at at the stunning view.

My father swirls his wine and then looks at him "I just want you to know that I am really pleased to see Brooke so happy......I have hoped she would find love again".

Shifting on his feet, Lucas gives him a nervous look "thank you.........she is very special to me.........she has helped me so much in the short time I have known her".

"She has always had such a gift for reading people.....she was a great spy, but an even better psychologist.....she was born to do what she does".

Lucas nods "I know"

Emptying his glass, my father touches Lucas' shoulder "I don't get in her business, but just one request.......".

"Yes?".

"Be as happy as you can be....live life to the fullest with her........you both deserve this" and he turns to look Lucas straight in the eyes "and may I just say Thank You on behalf of this nation, for your sacrifice........I know you don't want it or expect it, but you do have our gratitude".

"Thank you".

"You are welcome.......now go enjoy our horses and this beautiful land".

I come in just as my father and Lucas nod to each other. I can tell Lucas is moved, but I choose not to say anything at the moment, let him digest it in peace. "Ready?".

"Yes, lead the way".

I hug my dad, I know they are going to the neighbors for cards this late afternoon, so we will just let ourselves out when we leave. "Thanks, dad.....I'll see you soon".

"Take care, kids.....enjoy".

We walk through the house, saying goodbye to my mum and over to the stables. We spend a wonderful afternoon riding over the fields together, going slowly since Lucas is new to this experience, but I can tell he loves every minute of it.

He offers to drive back to London and we stop for some quick take out before ending back at his place. We eat it in bed while watching the news and then settle in for the night, soon fast asleep in each other's arms after a wonderful weekend together.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea if anyone is still reading this, but here is finally an update, enjoy!

I wake up with a distinct feeling I am being watched. I open one eye a tiny bit and Lucas comes into focus. He is sitting on the edge of the bed, just looking at me, wearing his black tank top, his hair a bit of a mess.

"Mmm.....what? It's too early" and I rub my face, opening my eyes more.

He looks at me, leaning down to kiss me once, caressing my face "nothing......just looking at your beautiful face".

I snort "ha..very funny......I'm sure I look pretty scary right now....".

Nuzzling my neck and kissing me again, he hums in my ear "you are beautiful, love......and it's almost 6.....I have a standing appointment with Ben at the gym and you have yoga class, right?".

Groaning, I sit up, forgetting to pull the sheet with me "umpff....yeah.....I guess we should go". Lucas has lost all focus and it just staring at my chest for a second, my nipples peaked when exposed to the cold air. I look at him and find his expression a tiny bit amusing. I clear my throat "Lucas......earth to Lucas...".

"Eehh yeah, what?" and he looks at me.

I smirk, crossing my arms over my breasts "well, I hope you enjoyed the view". The corner of his mouth curves up and he leans over to kiss me again and shimmers his hands up my sides. It tickles and I squirm trying to get away from him "Lu...ha,haa, haaa.....aghhh, let me go".

He is a lot stronger than me, he grabs me and quickly yanks me out and rolls, holding me firmly to his body and I end up underneath him. His body feels warm against my naked skin, I'm just wearing a skimpy pair of panties. I sigh, enjoying the weight and he reaches up to move a strand of hair of out my face. Our eyes meet and I see love reflected back at me. His lips are close and when he speaks, it sends shivers down my spine "thank you, Brooke......for a lovely weekend" and he caresses my cheek.

"Your welcome, Lucas.....I has a wonderful time too..." and I run my hand over his scruffy chin.

Our lips meet in a tender kiss, it starts out slow, but soon his tongue seeks out mine and it escalates quickly, soon turning into a full blown, passionate makeout session. He moves his hips and my legs automatically goes up to wrap around his, his rapidly growing bulge pressing against my very core. I arch up, adding pressure and he grunts into my ear "fuck....we gotta go".

I kiss him deeply, wrapping my tongue around his and tugging at his hair, feeling myself get wetter as we move together. I look at him "please, Lucas....I want you".

His eyes are dark with lust and he nods, kissing down my neck, nibbling on my collarbone, his voice low " I want you too, love, but it'll have to be quick",

Nodding, I kiss him again as he comes back up to capture my lips before he shimmers south, caressing my breasts and he nuzzles his nose between them, which makes me squirm, it tickles with his scruff "Lu...ha, ha...Lucas, stop......ha, ha, ha".

Smirking he licks around the dark skin of my aereola on my right breast before capturing the sensitive bud in his mouth and sucking gently, making me clench in arousal and I moan out "ohhh".

RIINNNGGGGGGG         RIIIINNNNNNGGG           RIIIIINNNNNNNG

We both glance at the nighstand and Lucas' phone. He groans in annoyance and I reach out to grab it, seeing *Harry* blinking on the screen. I hand it to him "duty calls".

He sighs, leaning up and giving me a quick kiss, before he sits up on the edge of the bed and answers "Harry".

I get up, giving him a smile as he looks at me, only wearing my panties and I can't help but glance at the rather impressive bulge in his briefs. I bend down to kiss his cheek and he runs his hand up my leg, before I shake my head and trot in the bathroom, leaving him to talk to Harry.

Coming back out after a few minutes, I find the bedroom empty. I reach for his discarded shirt from yesterday, putting it on and buttoning it up, walking out to look for him. Lucas is already dressed and in the kitchen, downing a protein shake and turning the coffee pot on. He looks up and smiles, coming over to pull be into his arms, kissing me "sorry.....it was just about to get interesting.......but I gotta run, we have a situation....Ben is on his way to get me".

We share a few kisses and I lean against his chest as he holds me, feeling his warmth and steady heartbeat "it's fine.....you don't have to apologize or explain.....I know what that is like".

Running his hands through my hair, he inhales my scent and kisses the top of my head "it's nice you get it......." and he reaches in his pocket, holding up a key "take your time....just lock up and I hope to see you tonight".

I snuggle closer to him, knowing he has to go, but wishing we could stay in here. I look up at him, taking the key "you sure?".

"Of course I am sure, Brooke.....I'll call you when I can". Our lips meet again in a deep kiss and he tenderly cups my face with his hands "I had a wonderful time".

Our foreheads are touching "me too, Lucas".

He very reluctantly lets me go, saying a soft "bye" before he slips out the door.

I stand in the kitchen, still feeling his presence before snapping out of it and turning to pour myself a cup of coffee. Yoga will have to wait today, I think. I take my cup, walking back in the bedroom and looking at his bed and the ruffled sheets, smiling to myself while remembering the good sex we shared over the weekend. 

 

Lucas runs down the stairs to his apartment building, almost skipping and out the door, finding Ben already waiting in his small car. He opens the door and gets in "morning....thanks for getting me".

Ben looks at him and then starts the car, starting to head towards the Grid "not a problem.........have a nice weekend?".

Turning a bit red, Lucas tries not to smirk "yeah....it was good....", pause, "great actually......".

Lifting an eyebrow, Ben glances at him "oh yeah? With Brooke?".

"Yeah with Brooke........she is wonderful......".

"It was good then, huh?".

Knowing what Ben is referring to, Lucas just smiles "yes....bloody hell yes".

Ben lets out a laugh and smacks his shoulder "I knew it!" and then he turns a bit more serious "I'm really happy for you, man.......she seems like a good person".

"She is".

They drive in silence for a few minutes, then Ben wonders out loud "so did Harry say why we needed to get our asses in here now?".

"No, not really.....just eluded to something with the CIA and Baisely".

Ben sighs "that bloke sure is giving us a run for it".

"I know.......maybe the CIA can just deal with him" and Lucas lets out a snort "let that dreadful Sarah Caulfield have a go at him".

"Ohhh she is awful.....after you left the party with Brooke, she tried to get info from us all about who Brooke was, but nobody talked......I noticed Sam Walker gave Harry a few looks, does he know her?".

"Likely......he has been around for a long time, I assume he knows Brooke's father, Sir Cunningham".

Ben nods "ahhh probably".

"He is a nice man".

"You met him?" and Ben looks surprised.

"Yeah, we went to lunch at his estate yesterday".

"You already met her family......wow.......that's impressive.........remember to invite me to the wedding".

"Very funny, Ben and I doubt that will ever happen.....I've been down the aisle once and it wasn't very successful and Brooke was married once too".

"What, she was?".

"Yeah" and Lucas goes a bit quiet "he worked for MI6, was killed during a black ops mission 3 years go".

"Sorry, man.......that's tough....poor Brooke".

"Well, she tough as nails and she gets it, Ben.....she understands what it is we do every damn day and the importance of it......which makes it easier".

"Oh I bet it does.....maybe it was meant to be, huh?".

Lucas looks at Ben as the car stops in the underground parking garage "maybe...I don't know.....I don't believe in fate, not anymore......but I feel damn lucky to have met her and that my affection is returned by her, she is wonderful....." and he gets a goofy smile on his face.

"You have it bad".

"Yes I do" and they share a smile.

They get out of the car and walk to the elevator, stepping in. Lucas turns to Ben "Sarah showed up at my flat on Saturday.....I was asleep and more or less told her to fuck off".

"She wants your ass".

"Well that will never ever happen....I hope she got the hint".

"I hope so too, but she was acting fucking obsessed, after you left the party".

Lucas sighs "great....".

The elevator stops on their floor and they step into the Grid. They say hi to Tariq before making a b line for the coffee station. Beth is already there and Ros and Ruth are walking out of Harry's office, followed by Harry, who motions "everyone.......conference room now.....CIA is waiting".

They all file towards the conference room, Beth tapping Lucas on the shoulder "good weekend?".

He grins at her right before they enter "yes".

She nods her approval right as they walk in, and Lucas immediately gets a different look on his face as he realizes that Samuel Walker, Sarah Caulfield and the new bloke, Rob are all already seated at the big table. Harry is up by the monitor "please take a seat".

They do and then listens to Harry talking about the Baisely case and how they need to squeeze him for more information. They are trying to follow his trail, but it fans out in many different directions and he is not giving them any clear answers.

There is a bit back and forth, Harry and Samuel discussing different options, putting pressure on Baisely's family, which Harry rules out "nope, we can't......he has a small child".

Sarah lets out a huff, which makes everyone look at her and Sam gestures "something you want to say?".

"Yeah....why don't we just water board him, that will make him talk".

Lucas feels his blood pressure rising, which is not lost on Harry, who chimes in "well, Miss Caulfield, that would be against the Geneva convention as it is deemed torture".

She snorts "that's ridiculous......not like we haven't done it before" and she looks at Samuel Walker "right?".

He swifts uncomfortable in his chair "well yes.....but we probably shouldn't have.....".

Rolling her eyes, she gestures "oh come on......he will never talk if we keep pussy footing around here".

Sam's eyes dart to Harry and then quickly to Lucas and then back to Sarah "well, we need to find others ways to get him to talk, torturing people is pretty ineffective".

"Says who?" and she stares him down, making the entire room uncomfortable.

Rob chimes in "ehhh.......I think pretty much the entire intelligence community agrees on this, Sarah".

She turns to look at him, her lips pressed closely together, a faint blush rising on her cheeks "no everyone, Rob...." and she turns to look at everyone else, trying to find a sympathetic ear. Her eyes fall on Lucas, who is almost white knuckling the pen he is holding, staring at the paper in his notebook, repeating to himself to stay clam and professional. Her mouth curls into a sweet smile "what do you think, Lucas? I'm sure you are all for getting the bad people to talk, no matter the method......a little waterboarding would be fine, right?".

He looks straight at her, his eyes cold as ice, his voice low, but strong "wrong!" and he gets up, giving Harry an apologetic look "excuse me", before he stomps out of there.

Sarah is startled for a second, but then tries to smooth it over, putting her hands up in defense "wow.....someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, geesh".

Beth finally can't keep her mouth shut, she looks at Sarah "you know.....I wish you would not speak about things you know nothing about......Lucas knows more about torture than any of us ever care to know, ever......you would know that if you read his file".

Harry and Sam Walker exchange a look, both sensing it is about to come to at least verbal blows. Sam puts out an arm, warning Sarah it is enough and Harry quickly speaks "well, this country will forever be indebted to Lucas, for the price he paid...." and he then steers the conversation back to other options.

The meeting finally ends, everyone gets to their feet and start to trickle out. Harry grabs Ben, pulling him in the corner "go find Lucas....make sure he is ok". Ben nods and walks out of there, sending Sarah a dirty look as he passes her.

The Grid is empty, Lucas is not at his desk. He hits up Tariq "did you see where Lucas went?".

Tariq is still staring at his screen as he hammers on the keyboard, but he motions with his head "he walked that way........he looked like he was about to blow a gasket".

"He probably was" and Ben adds, when he sees Tariq's confused look "Miss Caulfield asked him if he thought waterboarding would be fine to use for potential targets", and Ben rolls his eyes when Tariq reacts "exactly.......stupid bitch". He walks down the hall towards the bathrooms and enters the men's room.

Lucas is standing over by the sink farthest away, gripping the edge of it and just staring at the mirror. He looks up when Ben enters, but doesn't say anything.

Ben approaches with caution "hey, you ok, man?".

Nodding, Lucas takes a couple of deep breaths "yeah....I will be.....just...." and he shakes his head, sighing deeply "I just had to leave or I would have blown up in her face.....", another deep breath "I don't care who our enemy is, but torture is torture, no matter what and for her to suggest that water boarding is not a big fucking deal.....".

"I know, man...I'm sorry" and Ben places a hand on Lucas' shoulder.

Lucas straightens up and turns to face Ben, giving him a small smile "but thanks.....thanks for checking on me.....".

"Anytime.......and I think they left, the CIA.......".

"Ok....lets get back to work then, huh?" and they walk out of there together.

It is not lost of Lucas that several people look at him, but he ignores it, pouring himself some more coffee and plops down in his chair in front of his pc. He looks over at Beth, who is staring at him, he gestures "I'm fine".

"Stupid cow".

Lucas snorts and then laughs, nodding and grateful that Beth can just break the ice and lighten the mood "truer words have never been spoken here on the Grid".

They all get back to work for a while, trying to hunt down sources and look for trails to follow, but nothing really pans out today. It's frustrating for all of them and the tension builds back up, it hangs heavy in the air. Harry finally comes out of his office and looks around, his face gloomy and he mutters "feels like a damn funeral parlor in there".

Ruth comes over, handing him some papers "yeah.....after the tension this morning with the CIA and then no real leads, it gets frustrating, Harry".

Harry stands up straight, his voice clear "alright........everyone grab your stuff and go home......I know it gets frustrating, but we need to keep plugging away, but it's enough for today........out, all of you!".

There are mumbling, but they can hear there is no point in arguing with Harry today, so they all leave. Lucas is on the way out, but Tariq flags him down and he walks over there "yeah?".

"Probably a bad time to tell you this, but someone at the CIA tried to access Brooke's file a few minutes ago".

"Sarah".

"Likely......it came from their headquarters.......sorry, Lucas".

He rubs his face, sighing and feeling tired, but upset "how the hell did she find out".

"No idea, man......but maybe she snooped downstairs, looked at who logged into for the party last week".

"Shit".

"I know........sorry......let me know if I can do anything to help".

Lucas pats his shoulder "thanks, Tariq" and he reaches for his phone as he takes the stairs.

 

 

I'm wrapping up for today too, haven't heard a word from Lucas since this morning, but I know the drill and how it goes. My cell phone goes off and I blindly reach for it, busy typing up notes from today's patients "Dr. Campbell".

"Brooke......it's Lucas".

I hear his concern "hey...what's the matter?".

He is breathing a bit heavy as he makes it to the car in the parking garage "where are you?".

"In my office.....Lucas, talk to me, spit it out....what's going on?".

"It's Sarah....she tried to access your file.....Tariq caught it".

"Is she that dangerous?" and I chew on my pen, a bad habit.

"I don't know, but lock your door and stay....I'm on my way to get you and your better not go home until I figure out what she is up to".

I know there is something he is not telling me, but I let it go for now "ok....but the hospital is secure....you can't get into the pediatric part without the code".

He booms over the phone "just do it, Brooke....please, I don't trust her at all.....she somehow found out who you are".

Getting up, I walk over to my door, switching the lock "alright....calm down, Lucas".

"I know.....I'm sorry....I..." and his voice trails off.

"It's ok....I know you are not yelling at me.....but the door is locked".

"I'll be there in 10 minutes" and he disconnects before I can say anything else.

I put my phone down, closing out my files, I'll have to finish later or tomorrow. I walk over to the bathroom and find my overnight bag and stuff a few things from the closet in there, it's handy to have some extra clothes on hand. I put and lap top in my shoulder back.

KNOCK    KNOCK     KNOCK  "Brooke, it's me....open the door".

Walking over there, I switch the lock and open it, finding Lucas outside. He grabs my arm, pulling me close and closing and locking the door again. "Hey....calm down...what the hell is going on?".He scans the room, his entire body on alert.

I touch his shoulder and then finally his chin, pulling his face to look at me "hey.....it's ok....I've been in there most of the day" and I learn up to kiss him.

It takes a second before he actually returns the kiss, but then he does, chasing my tongue back in my mouth and pulling me into his arms. I can feel the tension slowly easing from him and he starts to relax. He rests his forehead against mine and sighs "sorry.....just on the edge....I don't trust her and she about sent me into a stroke".

Caressing his cheek, I kiss him again "wh..what? What happened, Lucas?".

Reluctantly letting me go, he goes over to grab my overnight bag and holds out my hand "come.....I'll tell you later, don't feel you are safe here".

"Where are we going, you said my place wasn't safe either....", but I take his hand as he opens the door, peeking out.

He leads me briskly out the hall and to the stairs "my place.....I know the ins and out and".

I cut him off "but mine has security".

Stopping, he lifts an eyebrow "she works for the CIA......do you trust she wont find a way in?" and he sees the look in my face "exactly......even I could break in if I wanted to......I know my building and the flat".

We make it to the car he took from MI5 and he helps me in and we are soon speeding towards his place, Lucas scanning in the rear view mirror every 5 seconds. I put a hand on his thigh "we should get dinner, unless you have something....".

"Already ordered Chinese to go from around the corner, hope that is ok?".

I smile "of course you did".

Making a quick stop to pick up our order, we arrive at his building and he ushers me out and we take the stairs two steps at a time. He unlocks his door, looking at it carefully, but doesn't find anything out of order. We walk in and I set the food in the kitchen and Lucas drops my bag. He looks around and then all of a sudden motions for me, pointing at his bedroom door and his right hand goes to the inside of his jacket, removing his gun quietly and releasing the safety clip.He puts his hand over his lips and I nod, understanding what he is trying to say.

He slowly steps towards his door and I can tell it is different than it was when I left this morning, I carefully set it the way I know he usually leaves it. He moves swiftly to open it, pointing the gun, finger on the trigger. Turning, he waves me closer, the room is empty. He quickly sweeps the room and his bathroom, but doesn't find anything. He locks the safety on the gun and puts it on his nightstand, shaking his head "think it is clear".

I shake my head and point to my ears and then around in the room. Lucas looks at me for a second before he gets what I am trying to say. I take the bathroom, running my hand along the underside of the counter, lifting the toilet lid, looking on the light fixtures etc, nothing. Walking back in the bedroom, Lucas grabs me by surprise, pushing me up against the nearest wall, ravishing me with kisses. 

"Lu..Lucas...what are you doing?" and I kiss him back with as much passion, grabbing his shoulders.

He kisses down my neck and then licks my ear, mumbling quietly "bug".

I nod and we lock eyes and I see the naughtiness playing in his. He fumbles with the buttons on my blouse while I quickly undo his dress shirt, opening it up, revealing the Blake tattoo across his chest. I have seen it several times, but it still takes my breath away, the way it looks on him. I run my hands over his chest and use my thumbs to rub his nipples, feeling them peek under my touch. 

Lucas groans and presses his hips against mine, his excitement pushing into my stomach and he plunges his tongue in my mouth with a moan "fuck".

Running my hand up his naked back, I feel his strong muscles under my fingers and then I move them down, over his jeans, cupping his rear, pulling him closer and he ruts against me. He finally gets my shirt open and licks over my collarbone and then dips his head in my cleavage, moving his hands up to grab my lace covered breasts. My hands tangle in his hair and I moan slightly "ohhh Lucas".

He grunts, shimmering one hand behind my back, unhooking my bra. He pulls away a little, so he can help me get rid of both my blouse and my bra. He looks at me with lust, reaching out to cup my breast, his voice low "you are so beautiful, Brooke".

I tug on his open shirt and he sheds it, quickly pulling me flush against him, our skin finally meeting chest to chest. It feels wonderful and we both moan out of pleasure, while continuing to share wet, passionate kisses, our hands roaming over each other. He dips his head down to lick the top of my breast and then finally latches on to my nipples with his mouth. He sucks lightly and flicks his tongue over my sensitive peak.

"Ohhhh yes.....more, please" and I push his head against me. His ministrations go straight to my core, wetness pools between my thighs and I clench in need. He comes back up, kissing me hard and I manage to undo his belt buckle and pop his jeans open, feeling my way to his zipper, undoing it slowly. His bulging erection spills out when I open his jeans and I cup him through his underwear.

His breath hitches against my neck and he pushed into my touch as I trace his shaft, feeling a damp spot when I get to the tip "Brooke....please.....ughhh" and he groans when I get my hand in there, curling my fingers around his throbbing flesh.

Lucas is not idle either, he pushes a palm up my thigh and under my skirt, cupping my mound and pressing the heel of his hand against my entire core, then spreading his fingers, moving a couple under my wet panties, finally touching me. 

I grab at his hair and grind against his hand, whimpering "Lucas..." and then moan when he slips a finger inside of me, caressing my walls, then sliding it back out and then up to touch my clit "ohhhhh". 

He pants against my mouth "so wet.....fuck I want you, babe" and he continues to slide against my pearl, setting a steady rhythm until I am a sobbing mess, about to explode. He knows exactly what he is doing and even though I am more or less incapable of stimulating him, due to his very effective fingering, I do feel how much this excites him. He twitches against my fingers, going even harder and slick drops leaks from his tip, making my hand sticky. 

I manage to rub him, using my thumb and index finger to spread that moisture, feeling his foreskin sliding easily, making him moan as he bites my shoulder, trying to muffle his pleasure "ohhh god".

Pushing a second finger inside of me about sends me over the edge. I pump him forcefully while grabbing his face with my other hand "please, Lucas, fuck me...I need your cock....ohhhhhh, so close".

We share a passionate kiss and then he removes his hand, but before I can protest, he spins me around, pushing my skirt up around my waist and his own pants and underwear down his thighs. I'm throbbing with need and turn my head, seeing him touch himself a few times. I spread my legs as he rips my panties, tossing them to the floor, growling "I'll get you new ones". He guides himself to my entrance and I push back eagerly when I feel him and he penetrates me to the hilt in one powerful stroke, knocking the wind out of me. I brace myself against the wall with my hands and I feel his arms go around my torso as he groans in deep pleasure "ohhh fuck yes....ohhh, Brooke".

"Lucas".

He slowly pulls almost all the way out, watching his glistening cock and then pushes back in, going as deep as he can, quickly setting a steady rhythm. Our pleasure mounts and so does our moans, meshing together "harder......ohhhh.....fuck......ughh, ughh.......ohhh god........shit......close".

One of his hands are on my breast and he moves the other down between my legs, finding my clit. He thumbs it, rubbing it in rhythm with his hips, his breath ragged against my ear "fuck it is good......ohhhh.....can you cum for me....I want to feel you cum".

My entire body tenses up and the damn breaks as I climax, clenching around his cock as the orgasm washes over me "LUCAS....ohhhh god....ohhhh".

He feels my walls clamp down tightly around him, milking him and he manages to pound into me hard a couple more times before he holds himself firmly to me as he empties everything he has in long, warm spurts, pulsing over and over, his head buried in my neck "fuck...fuck.....fuck............ohhhhhhhh shit....ohhhhh" and he collapses against my back.

We are covered in sweat, it was primal and needy, but so good, Don't remember the last time someone did this to me. 

His arms are tightly around me as our breathing slowly returns to normal. He nuzzles my ear and I turn my head so our lips can meet in a tender kiss. I smile at him and he returns it, reaching up to move a stray strand of hair out of my face, before kissing me deeply again. He is still very much buried deep inside of me, but he finally reaches down for his shirt, using it to clean me up as he slips from me. He pulls his pants up, but doesn't bother closing them.

I turn around, leaning against the wall, still catching my breath and watch as he goes to his boots by the closet, removing a tiny black square, putting it on the floor and then lifting his leg and quickly smashing it with the heel of his shoe covered foot. It shatters into a million pieces.

Lucas walks over to me and pulls me into his arm, kissing me silly as we both share a laugh and he whispers in my ear "well, I hope they got an earful".

I giggle against his chest and he pulls me into the bathroom, turning on the faucet in the tub and proceeds to undress himself and me.

 

CIA headquarters across town:

Rob looks up as he hears a loud crash, seeing a flustered Sarah Caulfiled throw her metal tumbler against the wall in her office "you fucking bastard"

 


	9. Chapter 9

A few hours later:

"No! NO! No! PLEASE NO.........I CAN'T......NOOOOOOOOOOO............ARGHHHHHHHHHH!".

I get a hard kick and a flaring arm in my face, which wakes me up along with Lucas' piercing screams of terror. I fly out of bed and fumble with the lamp on the nightstand and finally get it turned on.

Lucas is trashing in the bed, the sheets a total mess and he is sweating and then he jerks and curls up, whimpering softly.

My heart just plunges. I sit back down and reaches out for him, gently touching his arm, which is tightly curled and fisted "Lucas......you are dreaming....".

He sits up and roars "GET AWAY FROM ME" and tries to hit me.

I was sort of prepared for that, so I duck and stay out of his reach. I grab his hand and then yells back at him "LUCAS! WAKE UP!".

Eyes wide open and he looks at me in terror, his brain slowly coming to and connecting to the now and he just crumbles before my eyes, pulling his legs up, tightly hugging himself and hiding his face in shame, mumbling "so....sorry.....Brooke....".

Crawling back in bed with him, I scoot all the way next to him, putting my arm around his shoulder and leaning up to kiss his ear, whispering softly "it's alright......please don't hide" and I tug on his arms. He finally releases them and I pull him into a tight embrace, ignoring we are both only wearing underwear, our warm skin pressed against each other and he buries his head in my neck, his shoulders starting to shake and he just totally breaks down and sobs.

I just hold him, slowly rubbing his broad back and not saying anything for a long while, just letting him feel everything that he feels in this moment. He slowly stops and sniffles, his breathing not as heavy, but he still just clings to me like he is drowning. Touching the back of his head, I turn my face to kiss his cheek "it's ok......just breathe......".

He sighs and then finally loosens his grip and pulls a little away from me, reaching up to cup my face, his eyes red when they meet mine "th..thank you.....I feel like such a fool".

"Don't...Lucas....it's alright.....you have been through hell.....you were tortured!".

"Will it ever stop?".

"The nightmares?" and I wipe a single tear trickling down his face with the pad of my thumb. He nods. I take a breath and lock eyes with him "I'm not going to lie to you......I don't know..... I hope they will or at least become less and less frequent, but everyone is different.......as I told you before, some people never recover or are able to function".

"It has gotten better" and he hesitates for a moment.

"What? Did something happen today.....earlier...?".

He nods and then pushes the pillows in a pile, so he can rest against them and he pulls me into his arms, so I am resting my head on his shoulder. He holds me for a minute and then kisses my forehead and moves a strand of hair from my face, turning to look at me "thank you for listening and putting up with me.....I'm sorry it always turns into a therapy session".

I put a finger over his lips, which he kisses as I speak "don't you ever apologize.....I'm here because I want to be and we are talking, because that is what people do in relationships.....they talk, listen to each other, offer support/feedback".

"So are we in a relationship then?" and I see a hint of a smile on his face.

Jabbing his solid chest, I lean up to kiss him "we better be with all the sheet and wall yoga we have been doing....... now stop stalling......what happened earlier today?".

He sighs "we were having a meeting.....about..." and he hesitates.

I cut him off "I know you can't say anything, so don't......you were having a meeting..".

"Yeah and the CIA people were there and it came to a head when Sarah Caulfield couldn't understand why we couldn't just waterboard someone to get the answers that we need".

"Seriously?".

"Yep, that is what she said and then when nobody validated her point of view, she turned to me for support and I lost my shit and had to leave the room".

I find his hand and our fingers weave together on his chest and I cuddle closer "I'm sorry, Lucas.......that's probably what triggered it tonight, huh?".

"Probably" and he sighs again, seeking out my lips "I'm sorry......and it is now bloody 4 in the morning, I interrupted your beauty sleep".

I sit up to really look at him, still holding his hand "and I don't care......stop apologizing......I'm here because I want to be".

He reaches out to cup my face and sits up too, kissing me softly "what did I ever do to deserve to meet you?".

We share a few tender kisses and then we just embrace, holding each other.

I am about to say something else, but he stiffens his back, holding up a hand, listening. We look at each other and my eyes go wide when I hear it too.....someone is at his front door, trying to break in.

Our training just automatically kicks in and he reaches for his gun on the nightstand and I quietly get out of bed as he motions for me to get in the bathroom. I tip toe in there, putting on his discarded dress shirt and I peek back out. He has pulled on a t-shirt and is inching up behind his bedroom door, gun in hand, his finger on the trigger, watching. 

The only light is the lamp on the nightstand.

CLICK

We both fix our eyes on the hallway as we can hear the front door quietly opening and footsteps across the floor, trying to be quiet, but not quite succeeding. I peer from the crack in the bathroom door, where I have a view of the bedroom door and Lucas behind it.

Sarah Caulfield's silhouette comes into view as she inches towards the bedroom, carrying something in her hand. She steps in, looking at the empty bed and the ruffled sheets. A back pack on her back. The lamp raises her alarm and she swings around, seeing Lucas standing there, his gun raised.

His voice is hard "don't move! I wont hesitate.....".

Her lips curl in a wicked smile, lifting her latex covered hands in the air, holding a syringe "Lucas.....I just came to talk".

"Like hell you did!" and he motions towards the syringe "was that going to do the talking?".

"I just wanted to chat" and her eyes narrow and she steps closer "I just wanted to warn you....to never, ever humiliate me like that again or....".

He sneers "or what, Sarah? Going to haul me in and waterboard me?" and he steps out from behind the door, still pointing the gun at her "been there, done that......it honestly doesn't frightens me, it enrages me that you would even consider doing that to anyone.......yes, we chase bad guys and some of them deserve to die......I've killed people......but I don't believe in torture, especially not against our own citizen or allies".

She ignores his comments and looks around "where is your whore?".

Lucas' eyes flare, but he tries to keep calm and emphasizes his sentence " you mean amazing Brooke, that actually cares about me as a person?".

Sarah barks a laugh "HA! Does she know you are only with her so you can fuck her.......use her..!".

He roars "NOT TRUE!".

Rolling her eyes, she steps closer "keep telling yourself that, Lucas".

"You don't know anything about me or her........just because you listened in last night doesn't mean you know a damn thing about our relationship".

"I bet she fakes it, just to boots your ego.....most women do that, you know".

I step out from the bathroom "with him you don't have to".

The pure hatred in her eyes is not lost on me and she almost spits in my direction "Brooke Campbell".

"Sarah....".

"I hope you know Lucas is just using you for sex since he hasn't had any for so long".

"I think we both know that is a total lie, but keep telling yourself that Miss Caulfield, if that keeps you sane......knowing you will never have him.....he will never look at you with desire, need and want".

It triggers something in her and she lets out a high pitched scream and lunges at me, lifting her hand with the syringe, but Lucas aims and fires.

BAAAAAAANGGGGGGG

Sarah falls to the ground, clutching her shoulder "YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU SHOT ME!". The syringe flies out of her hand and rolls over to the wall.

"Yeah, because you were about to do something stupid" and he is by my side, pulling me into his arms "you ok?".

I nod, my ears are still ringing, it was loud,

He secures his weapon, keeping a close eye on Sarah as she swears and whimpers on the floor, her shoulder bleeding. 

Knowing protocol, I already have my phone to my ear as I call emergency services, requesting an ambulance and Lucas has MI-5 on the line, giving his badge number and requesting assistance. He is still keeping a close eye on Sarah and the syringe on the floor.

I go out in the hall and open the door as the police arrive quickly. Lucas hands over his weapon, gives them his badge number with MI-5 and one officer in on the phone, verifying. Things get really chaotic, the ambulance crew arrives and then soon a group from MI-5. They check Sarah out and then hauls her out of there in handcuffs. 

Lucas talks to one group, while I give my statement to another, laying out the events that just unfolded. They thank me and I busy myself making some coffee and then feeling a warm presence behind me. He wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck "you doing ok?".

"Yeah.....you?".

He spins me around and leans against the island "I'm fine, but she was going to hurt me/us, there is no doubt about that...." and he shutters.

I pour coffee and hands him a cup "any idea what was in that syringe?".

Shaking his head, he takes a sip "no...nothing for sure, but my guess would be some sort of nerve agent or something".

The forensic guy from MI-5 comes in the kitchen, approaching timidly "so..sorry to interrupt".

Lucas waves him in "don't sweat it, Charles....whatcha got? Coffee?" and he point to the pot.

Charles shakes his head "no thanks....but very kind of you to offer.......ehhh......we looked in the back pack Miss Caulfield was carrying......".

"And?", Lucas raises an eyebrow.

"You better just come look".

Setting his cup down, he reaches for my hand "okay..." and we follow Charles back in the bedroom.

The pack is spread out on the floor with it's content: rope in various sizes, more gloves, syringes, a vial of some substance, some lubricant and condoms. 

I feel Lucas' fingers tighten around my hand and I let out a gasp "oh my god".

Charles nods grimly "yeah.....I think you can thank your lucky stars you were awake, Lucas....or she might have held you like a sex slave or something".

He shutters "fuck".

I look at him , making sure he is ok, but he gives me an assuring look. Charlie interrupts our little silent conversation "I'm really sorry for the trouble, but MI-5 will have to stick you in a hotel for a few days, so we can process your flat properly".

Lucas nods and then remembers something, letting go of my hand and then quickly grabs a cup from the bathroom, handing it to Charlie "this is what was leftover from a bug I found last night....sorry, I was so angry, I didn't think to just drown it...".

Charlie looks in the cup and raises an eyebrow "wait.....your flat was bugged?".

"Yeah......we came home last night and I noticed my bedroom door was out of place".

"You mean you set it a certain way like the rest of us paranoid nutters?".

"Exactly".

"Interesting......we'll have to take a look at it".

Lucas has taken my hand again and he gestures "have Tariq look at it....if anyone can figure anything out from the sad state this is in, he would be your man to do it......I can take it to him when I head in this morning".

"That would be great, thanks, Lucas".

I tug on his hand "why don't you pack a few things and we'll go to my place to get ready for work?" and our eyes meet "and bring some extras....don't check into a hotel...just come stay with me".

"You sure? I don't want to intrude or".

Cutting him off, I lean up to kiss him "you're not....I'm inviting you".

He kisses me back, ignoring all the activity around us, saying softly "I'll love to". We break apart and when we do, I realize, I'm still only wearing Lucas' discarded dress shirt and my panties. I blush and he notices "what?".

"Why didn't you tell me?".

"Tell you what?" and he is confused.

"That I'm dressed like this?".

"Probably because I wasn't paying attention" and he points to himself "I'm just in a t-shirt and drawers.....I think we had other things on our minds".

I smile "I guess so".

He walks up to me, getting close "I must say, you look awfully hot just wearing that".

Smacking his rear "shut up", we both laugh and then quickly get a bit more dressed and pack what we might need. We thank Charlie and the rest, before heading out and driving toward my place.

Lucas's phone goes off and he puts it on speaker "Harry......you are on speakerphone, I'm here with Brooke".

"Lucas......Brooke.....just got alerted by local authorities and Charlie about what happened......you both ok?".

I let him speak for us "we're fine......headed towards Brooke's flat since mine will be out of commission for a few days......I might want to move......I'll get cleaned up and then come in to the Grid...".

"And Brooke?".

"I'm fine, Harry.....don't worry.......I need to go to work too".

"Well, I might send someone over to watch your place and you at work until this is sorted out, we don't know what Miss Caulfield was up to and to what extend".

"I think I'm fine".

Lucas cuts in "please do, Harry.......we can't be too careful.....nothing can happen to her" and he shoots me a *don't argue* look.

"Will do...please be careful you two.......and Brooke, I'll call your dad".

I sigh "thank you......probably better he hears it from you than any of his other channels of information".

Harry says goodbye and Lucas reaches for my hand as he drives "please just let them..." and his voice goes quiet "I can't bear if anything happened to you........not now".

Hearing the pleading in his voice, I squeeze his hand "I will....".

We get to my building and he punches the code to the parking garage, watching his surrounding and his rear view mirror. We pull in and park and take the elevator up. I open my door and Lucas enters, gun drawn, quickly sweeping the place, but everything seems fine.

I point to my closet and open a drawer, pushing my things to the side "just put your stuff where ever you want.....make yourself at home". He does and I go in the kitchen, making more coffee and calling back in the bedroom "are you hungry?".

He comes out, stifling a yawn, which is no wonder, we have been up since 4am and it is now close to 6:30am "yeah...but don't want to cause trouble".

I hand him a fresh cup of coffee "you aren't.....I'm starving too....toast, jam and an egg with ham is probably what I can do".

Pulling me int his arms, he kisses me softly "sounds lovely".

"Want to go have a bath? The tub has jets...go make yourself comfortable".

He is still holding me "I'll help with breakfast and then maybe, would you want to bathe with me after, before we go to work?" and he nibbles on my ear.

I giggle since it tickles "Lucas.....ha, ha...hha....mmm.....maybe".

Giving me the best puppy eyes, he bats his long eyelashes at me "please?".

"Fine.....you got yourself a deal".

Grinning, he finds my lips and plants a deep kiss before we pull apart and work together to get breakfast on the table. It is such a mundane task, but it feels special and intimate as we just quietly get things ready and sit down to eat at the bar. We make a good team.

We were both starving and devour our breakfast. He reaches for my hand, silently holding it and drinking another sip of his coffee. I can almost hear his brain working and lifts an eyebrow at him in a question. He smiles when he realizes I know he is thinking, then runs his free hand over his face and then looks at me "do you think she would have raped me?", the tension evident in his voice.

I think for a minute "I don't know, but given what she was carrying......likely.......she is clearly out of her fucking mind and so obsessed and if she really heard us last night......it probably totally set her off".

He nods "probably".

"How do you feel about it?".

"I'm not totally sure........scared, upset, but most of all just angry......angry that she would think about doing something like that to another person".

"Rape is about power, Lucas......it is not about the sex"

"True......and I guess she wanted total power over me......since she saw/heard what we share and she knew she would never have that with me".

"Exactly" and give him a faint smile "you are learning fast".

"I have the best teacher" and he kisses me "thanks for breakfast......I think we needed that".

"We did....thanks for helping".

"You are letting me crash at your place".

"The least I can do".

We load the dishwasher and then make our way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I strip off my clothes and go to turn on the faucet to the tub, but Lucas holds out an arm "wait".

"What?".

He is eyeing my shower, tiled in pure white, except a wide strip of different inlays of blue glass. A beautiful, edge glass door allows a direct view into the long, silver appliance looking back with all the many holes and the giant shower head above "what in the bloody hell?".

"I know.....it's very fancy" and I turn it on "it adjusts the water spray, pressure and direction......it looks fancier than it is, but I actually hate everyone else's shower now".

Taking a deep breath, he looks at me "can we try that?".

"Lucas.....you sure this is a good idea? It could trigger something...".

He nods "yes....I want to" and he looks determined "I need to......I need to try to overcome this......Sarah almost came and stripped me of power.....I need to find mine".

"Okay....I get it.......but please let me know if I need to shut it off".

"I will".

I step in, adjusting it, so it is spraying lower in a wide path and not very strong, no water is coming from above. He removes his clothes and I hold out my hand, and he takes it, his fingers trembling as he closes the glass door behind him. The warm water hits his body, but he doesn't freak out. It is low enough to just hit him right below his shoulders. He closes his eyes and slowly turns, letting the water cover his body.

Watching him closely, I have one hand on the knob, ready to shut it off, the other is still holding his hand. His eyes open and he looks at me, nodding "it's ok.....I'm ok" and then he roams down my naked body, his eyes shifting and he pulls on my hand, opening his arms to me.

Our wet bodies meet skin to skin, creating a new and very erotic sensation for us both. He kisses my neck and lets his hands roam down my back to my rear, gently pulling me flush with his hips and our lips find each other, tenderly kissing. It starts out slow and sweet, but quickly escalates to something different. Soon we are grabbing at each others faces, our mouths opening up to one another, our tongues dueling.

He presses me against the tile and I feel his hardness against my stomach and I grab his rear as he ruts against me, moving a hand up to cup my breast, softly kneading it with his entire palm, before trailing kisses down my throat and then very slowly licking around my aereola and then latching on. I grab his head, holding him to my breast as he sucks and licks, sending jolts of pure pleasure straight to my core.

"Lucas....ohhh god...please".

Kissing me deeply again, he moans into my mouth "I really want you...".

"I think that can be arranged" and I snake my hand between us, wrapping my fingers around his pulsing flesh, feeling him throb against my palm. I let the water add some slickness, my fingers gliding easily over his hardness and he whimpers when I move his foreskin back and forth over his head, precum leaking from the slit.

He is breathless against me "Brooke.....please". 

I take his hand, moving him over to the shower seat. I put my leg up on the seat, leaning back against the wall and pulling him close, guiding his cock to my entrance, but he moves his hand down over my hip bone and then between my folds, finding me more than ready for him. He rubs my clit, feeling it swell even more against his fingers and he kisses me again, drowning out my pleas "ohhhh....yes.....more......ohhhhhhhh, please....".

His mouth is against my ear as he continues to finger me, his voice low and growling with desire "that's it, love....let me hear you.....you are so wet, baby.......". He pushes a couple of fingers inside of me while thumbing my pearl. I grind down against him and he feels my walls tightening as he fucks me with his fingers "fuck yes.....just like that.......cum for me..... let me hear you cum".

Going faster, stroking my inner walls, he crooks his fingers and swipe over my clit again and again, building the pressure until the damn breaks and I climax with a sob against his shoulder "LUCAS.........ohhhhhhh". He continues to stimulate me until I sag against him and he carefully slides his fingers out, lovingly petting my mound softly.

He kisses me deeply "fuck that was hot....to feel and hear you".

My mind is still hazy from orgasm, but I return his kiss and then take hold of him again, he is so hard and he balls feel tight and swollen, ready to burst. He looks down as I guide him to my vagina and pure bliss washes over his face as he slowly slides in to my wet, tight heat. Our mouths crash together again and he bites my shoulder softly "ohh god".

One hand is wrapped around my shoulder and he has firm grip on my rear with the other. My foot is still on the bench and the other one planted solid on the floor. He starts to move, going slow at first and watching himself slide in and out of me, but soon he picks up speed and I know it will be over. He grunts and groans with each thrust of his hips and I pull him closer, squeezing his rear "ohhh....ohhhh....ohhh, harder, Lucas......fuck I love your cock".

Me talking dirty to him, does something and he pounds deeper and harder, growling against my neck "ughhh.........fuck.....Brooke......ohhh, fuck, I......ohhhhh fuck....... fuck yes...ughhhhh" and cums hard, flooding me with his warmth as he pulses over and over, deep inside of me.

We cling to each other, our hearts pounding in our chests and we slowly come down from the high. We kiss tenderly and he strokes my cheek, looking at me in awe and I grin, kissing him again, saying softly "that was incredible".

Resting his forehead against mine, he nods "yes it was.....wow.....always thought shower sex was bad".

"A bench helps" and I slowly set my leg down and he slips from me and he pulls me flush against him. We just stand there and he moves us a little, letting the warm water hit both of us. It like an unspoken thing, but we gently wash each other off, he carefully soaps me up and I lather his hard body, before we rinse off. He enjoys shampooing my hair and he manages to quickly wash his hair as I rinse the soap out of mine.

Finally turning the water off, I look at him "was it ok?".

He smirks "it was fantastic......" and he embraces me again "thank you, love.....it helped.....not sure I'm totally over it, water from above still doesn't sound appealing, but it is a start".

"I'm very proud of you, Lucas".

"You helped a lot, love....".

We step out and he hands me a fluffy towel, We are drying off when there is a loud knock on my door and Harry's voice booms through "Brooke......Lucas......it's Harry....". We look at each other and Lucas quickly throws on some clothes, closing the bedroom door to allow me to finish dressing.

I clip my hair up and get dressed, walking out, finding Harry and Lucas in the kitchen, both looking gloomy. I look from one to the other, fear rising inside of me "what.....what is it?".

Lucas comes over and takes my hand and I turn to look at Harry. He clears his throat "Samuel Walker is dead".

 


	10. Chapter 10

I stare at Harry in disbelief and then the tears come. I clasp my hand over my mouth "oh my god".

He looks grim "I know.....I'm sorry, but I wanted to tell you both in person" and he looks at us "and also check on you, to make sure you are alright.........". He senses my question "yes, your father knows...I rang him myself, I know they were close" and Harry sighs, rubbing his face "it's the worst part of this bloody job, loosing people......" and he motions towards me "but you know that more than most".

Nodding, I just start to softly cry, all the emotions and memories from Daniels' death and other colleagues dying come flooding back. Lucas pulls me into his arms, hugging me tight and just holds me as I cry. He rubs my back "I've got you, love......." and he looks over my shoulder to Harry "do we know what happened?".

"He fell from a great height........left a suicide note".

I snap my head up "what?".

"Yeah, said he was terminally ill.......we are looking into it".

Shaking my head, I hold Lucas' hand with mine, while talking with the other one, gesturing "that doesn't sound like Sam at all, Harry......he never backed down from a fight, when things were tough......that thing in Japan, the hostage situation in Afghanistan".

Harry cuts me off "that's exactly what your father said too when I told him........we don't know, but we are investigating or rather.....we are assisting the Americans".

"How is his wife and girls? and I wipe my eyes.

"As well as can be expected......your parents said they were going over......your mom was bringing food".

A small smile on my face "sounds like her"

"Well, Mrs. Cunningham's cooking will comfort most people....." and he looks at Lucas and then at me "we really could use you, Lucas......all men on deck so to speak, we have the Sarah case, Baisley is still giving us trouble and then Sam's untimely death".

Lucas nods, but then looks at me, concern all over his face. I squeeze his hand "I'll be fine...I need to go to work too, this time of year is even harder for these kids facing serious or terminal illnesses.....go with Harry.....I know duty calls, the country needs you, Lucas".

Giving me a grateful hug, he ever so lightly kisses me on the lips, knowing Harry is watching "I'll keep you posted....please be careful".

"I will".

Harry comes over and kisses my cheeks "you really are prefect for him, Brooke", motioning to Lucas "you get it......you understand the kind of job he has....." and he looks me in the eyes "please be careful.....I'll have a couple of men follow you to work and station one outside your door, at least for today".

"Okay" and they both leave, Lucas kissing me quickly one more time, before they head out the door, whispering "bye".

"Bye".

I gather a few things and then head to my office, soon finding myself caught up with work, but ever so often sending thoughts to Lucas and the rest of the intelligence community, knowing their work is never done.

 

A few days later:

It's been crazy busy. I have been tied up with work, dealing with patients and their families as they struggle through this very difficult time of year and all the emotions it brings. Lucas has been working almost none stop, sleeping at the Grid a couple of nights, trying to unravel the mystery of Samuel Walker's death and following up on other cases.

I ordered sushi to go from *Koi* and bringing it to the Grid for supper, the least I can do is keep Lucas fed while this craziness is going on. I know what it feels like to be in the middle of cases and it can be hard to let go or even take a break. Someone from MI-5 drives me over there and I enter the Grid.

Tariq looks up and waves "Brooke" and he turns, yelling into the main space "food is here.......and Lucas, so is your woman".

Lucas comes rushing out, reaching for the two platters I am carrying and he leans up to kiss me "you could've have called....someone could have helped you with these".

Kissing him back, surprised how he doesn't care about showing affection here at work, I smile "it's fine....not a big deal". I say hi to Ben, Beth and Ros. Ruth is in Harry's office, they are looking at some papers, Ruth pointing and talking very animated to Harry.

I follow Lucas in the conference room, where he quickly unlocks the platters with sushi. I set out plastic plates, chopsticks and open the two big containers with miso soup. Beth comes in with bowls she found and soon we are all sitting around stuffing ourselves with food. I think everyone was hungry.

Ben nods in appreciation "damn this is good......where is it from?".

Lucas points with his chop sticks "Koi......just down the street from Brooks' place......they are amazing".

We sit and talk a bit, until Ruth and Harry come in, both looking serious. Ros gestures "help yourself".

Harry's eyes go to the sushi and then lifts an eyebrow. Ruth laughs "oh come on, Harry.....most of it is just fish",

He snorts "raw fish, Ruth........the only fish I care to eat is battered and fried". We all laugh, but then go silent when he looks at us all "I think we found some things.......and you all helped in one way or another to uncover this, so thank you". I make a motion to get up and leave, knowing it is likely classified, but Harry lifts a hand "no, you can stay, Brooke.......you have a right to know.....this is related to Sarah and she came to attack you both the other night".

I sit back down and Lucas unbashfully reaches for my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. I see Beth elbowing Ben and they both grin at us. We all turn our attention to Harry as he lays out a pretty elaborate scheme, uncovering the fact that Sarah likely killed Samuel Walker, her ties to an unnamed group of very powerful people from around that globe who are trying to influence governments in many countries and lots of money changing hands from very suspicious sources.

It's a lot to take in at once. Beth speaks up first "so wait........Sarah Caulfield killed Samuel Walker?".

Harry nods "it appears that way at the moment....." and he points to documents up on the projector screen "Ruth uncovered, along with Ros, that Sam had asked for a travel list from an airline.....from here to Basel, Switzerland......they found the list and Sarah's name is on it".

"Well that doesn't prove anything, does it?", she raises an eyebrow.

Ros speaks "no, not in itself, but" and she points to the next pieces of paper on the screen "but this doesn't exactly help her......bank accounts, created by her and receiving large amounts of money......". Ben whistles when the amounts come into view.

Harry gestures "Lucas tried to talk to her today......she is in a guarded room in the hospital, recovering from her gun shot wound".

Beth looks at Lucas "and?".

"Well, she spend 10 minutes yelling at me for shooting her, but I had to point out she didn't exactly announced her arrival and she looked like she meant us harm".

Ben "do we know what was in that syringe".

Ruth nods grimly, looking at us both, Lucas squeezing my hand, since I haven't heard this before and then at Ben "yeah.....tetrodotoxin..".

Raising an eyebrow, Ben is confused "tetro..what? I think I've heard about that name before".

Standing up, Ruth continues to speak "you likely have.....poison from a puffer fish....it can be deadly....".

I stare at her and then at Lucas, who reaches out a hand to tenderly touch my face "I know, Brooke.......Harry just told me before you got here.....I'm sorry".

Pulling myself together, I take a deep breath and look around the table "she was really trying to kill Lucas.....us.....".

Ruth gives us a sympathetic look "yes...it appears that way".

Beth shakes her head "but why? I mean....I can see Sam Walker, if he was about to discover who she really was......but you, you weren't on to her.....or were you?".

Lucas shakes his head, letting go of my hand, so he can talk with his "no I wasn't......but she was obsessed and completely crazy that I was with Brooke and not her......".

Ben chimes in "oh yeah....she about lost her shit when she saw you leave with Brooke at the holiday party".

Beth "well a lot of people are jealous etc, but what made her go totally batshit crazy?".

I smile and I see Lucas blushing, not wanting to answer that one, so I do it for him "ehh....well, when we came home the other night, to Lucas' flat, he noticed the door was moved and being the crazy people we are", everyone nods in understanding "we swept the place and Lucas found a bug under a boot in the bedroom, so he decided to torment her a bit and she might have gotten an earful.......".

My words hang in the air for a moment, Ros and Ruth look at a very red eared Lucas, Beth gives me a grin and nods and Ben looks totally confused "ehh......what? I don't...".

Beth cuts him off "they shagged, Ben!".

"Ohhhhhhhh".

Harry clears his throat "well........anyway.....that is likely what set her off and we will charge her with a lot of crimes, including conspiracy to kill one of our agents". We discuss back and forth about the things that have been revealed before Harry wraps it up "well, that's what we know for now, we are working closely with the Americans and remember the memorial service tomorrow for Sam....I know you all want to come pay your respects to a great man and civil servant".

We break up, quickly cleaning up from dinner and then saying goodnight to each other. Lucas and I walk to my car and he helps me in, driving back to my apartment and carefully inspecting it, before we can relax. I haven't said much since we left, lots of thoughts swirling in my head. I go in the kitchen to make some tea, filling the pot, but then just stop, staring out the window and feeling all the emotions welling back up. 

I sniffle, letting out a deep sigh. I feel his warm body pressing against me from behind, his strong arms going around me and he kisses my cheek "you alright?. I nod, but then a tear rolls down my cheek, hitting his lip and he spins me around, quickly cupping my face, his concerned eyes meeting mine "Brooke! Ohhh darling......what's the matter?".

Bursting into tears, I sob into his chest as he rocks me gently, his back leaned against the kitchen counter, him stroking my hair and making soothing sounds ever so often. I finally calm down and sniffles "so...sorry".

Kissing the top of my head, he shakes his head, lifting my chin and wipes the tears with the pad of his thumb "don't be sorry, love.....ever" and he snorts "how many times have you listened to me, held me, talked to me over the last weeks? That's why we are in a relationship, remember......we listen and care".

I give him a small smile "I guess you were listening....".

He takes my hand, pulling me in the bathroom and turns on the faucet to the big tub "oh yeah, to every word you said and it really, really helped, Brooke" and he gives me a sincere look "I can never repay you for that......you made me look at things differently".

"You don't owe me a thing, Lucas........you did the work, the thinking and dealing with the emotions.....that is far harder than a lot of people think".

Pulling me into his arms again, he kisses me tenderly "now....please strip.......I think a hot bath will do you good".

Pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it in the hamper, I turn to unzip my skirt "only if you join me".

He is half naked already and he smirks "I wouldn't want it any other way".

Soon we sink into the luxury of a lavender scented tub of warm water, he sits against the one side and pulls me between his legs, my back resting against his hard chest. He wraps his arms around me, kissing the nape of my neck. I sigh in bliss, reaching up to clip my hair a bit higher, away from his face.

Kissing my ear, he reaches up to slowly caress my shoulder "so care to tell me why you are upset?".

I reach for his hands, lacing my fingers together with his on my stomach, looking at them and I think for a minute, before finally answering "I'm not sure......I think just the gravity of what you guys do and the memories of Daniel and all the other that have given their lives.......Sam being the latest.......it's just sad.......the price of freedom".

He squeezes me close "I know....but we all know the risk and we still do it.....you use to do it too".

Nodding, I relish in feeling his strong body against mine "yes, I know...I...I just feel so much for the families left behind".

"What did your father say when you called him.......Sam's family?".

"They are doing ok.....his wife is a strong cookie, like most wives or husbands".

He cuts me off "the ones that manage to stay married usually are.......I think our divorce rate is quite the record", the last part said with a bit of bitterness.

"Very true" and I think for a moment "I'm always amazed at the resilience of humans, their will to keep going........to live.......I see it in families all the time.......at work, within the intelligence community.......in you......it's inspiring".

There is silence for a while, we just hold each other and my words hang in the air. He finally presses a kiss right below my ear, saying softly "thank you".

I turn my head so we can kiss tenderly, his lips softly on mine and he slowly opens my mouth, , letting his tongue explore. It starts slow, but soon heats up a bit more and I squirm against him as he lets go of my hands, very slowly moving them over my wet skin, up to cup my breasts. I arch my back and moan breathlessly "Lucas" and I feel him rapidly fill, soon his hard erection is pressing against my back.

Turning around in the tub, I straddle his meaty thighs as he gathers me in his arms, my breasts pressed against his hard chest and he kisses the hell out of me. I moan into his mouth and then adjust a bit, rubbing myself against his hardness. He groans, my wetness on his hard cock and I set a steady rhythm, letting the head slide over my clit again and again. We don't talk much, just feel and he dips his head down, catching a peeked nipple between his lips and sucks, swirling his tongue. 

It sends jolts of pure pleasure straight to my core, I swell more against his hard length and move faster, my body tightening like a spring. I'm getting closer and closer, my breath coming in short pants and he squeezes my behind, watching me with lust filled eyes.

"Ohhh Lucas.....close.....ohhhhhh".

He kisses me hard again, growling "please, Brooke.......let me feel it......around me.....please".

I slow down, our eyes locking and I lift myself up, grabbing his thick cock, moving him to my entrance and I impale myself. We embrace tightly, both moaning in pleasure as he fills me, my walls gripping him tight as I pulse around him.

"Ughhh.......fuck......shit" and it turns into a moan when I start to move again and he closes his eyes, just feeling me, my wetness.

Pushing a hand against his chest to steady myself, he forces his eyes open, watching me riding his cock, my mouth half open, pleasure on my face. He holds one hip and brings his other hand between us, swiping over the top of himself, letting his thumb rub against my pearl.

It feels so good and I know it will come crashing down in mere seconds, my body curls up and he senses it and he thrust up, hard and deep, fucking into me with force and I climax. My orgasm washes over me and I cry out in total bliss "yes...yeesssss........ohhhh god.........ohhhhhh".

Pleasure thunders down his spine, his balls rise up and he joins me, falling over the edge with a loud groan "fuuuuuuuuuuck" as he shoots his hot cum deep inside of me in pulsing spurts. He pulls me into his arms, holding me to him as we both relish in the last spasms of orgasm together. Our breaths ragged, our chests pounding against each other.

We just sit there for a few minutes, our bodies intertwined. I run my hands through the back of his hair and he caresses my back, before our lips meet in a tender kiss. He looks at me with so much love, moving a hand up to touch my cheek. He kisses me softly again and then speaks, his voice low "Brooke....darling......I don't want to scare you and it might be too early to say this to you...", inhale of breath "but I'm deeply in love with you....I can't imagine my life without you".

I smile, rubbing my nose against his "I'm in love too, Lucas....I know it is fast, but I also know life is precious and too short".

He nods, sounding a bit melancholy "yeah...", but then he breaks into a grin "really?".

"Yeah, really".

He squeezes me in his arms and kisses me deeply. We relish in the intimacy a little longer, before we slowly untangle ourselves from each other and he helps me out of the tub. We get ready for bed and are soon snuggled together under the covers, him spooning me. 

I'm exhausted and fall asleep within minutes. He just holds me and listens to my even breathing, before he leans over to kiss me again, saying softly "I love you" and then finally allowing himself to go to sleep too.

 

The next day:

I'm finishing getting ready. Lucas left early this morning, kissing me while I was still half asleep, saying he had work to do, but we would meet at the service. I had mumbled my agreement and went back to sleep for an hour. 

Now, I am stepping into my black heels, straighten my black wrap dress and adjust my nylon stockings, I hate wearing them, but it helps with a garter, not so constricting. I look in the mirror, putting on my hat, moving my hair, so it looks satisfactory. I reach for my coat and the clutch, checking my phone and seeing the message from my dad "will be there in 2 minutes". I put it on vibrate and lock my apartment up and head downstairs.

A black car pulls up to the curb and I get in, hugging my mum and saying hi to my father in the front passenger seat. They got a driver today. I put on my seat belt and my mum reaches for my hand "you look nice, honey".

"Thanks" and I sigh "I still can't believe it......any of it".

My dad nods "I know, this has rattled a lot of people" and he turns in his seat "how is Lucas?".

I smile, memories of last night come flooding back "he is good, but needless to say, they have worked non stop over there".

"I bet......I talked to Harry briefly last night.....a lot going on....".

My mum chimes in "is Lucas meeting us there?".

I look at her "yes......if he can....not sure if they will have people sit by section".

"Likely", my dad says, "there will be lots of people today, paying their respects......Sam was the face of the CIA here and known" and his voice drops "unlike most the secret agents out there...... when they pass away......everything is done as quietly as possible".

I bow my head, I am well aware how it goes, only my parents, me, Daniel's parents and a couple of his colleagues attended his funeral. Many visited me before and after, but I knew their identities had to remain a secret.

My mum reaches out "you ok?".

"Yeah, I'm fine......just a lot of memories".

We drive in silence, arriving at the large church and getting out. People are streaming in and we just follow, my father nodding and shaking hands with lots of people. I see a few familiar faces from my old life and we are shown to a pew by the usher. I glance over to the other side, seeing Harry and the rest of section D sitting on a row. They nod or wave.

Lucas locks eyes with me as we are seated. He is out to the aisle. He looks handsome, dressed in a black suit and shirt, no tie. He glances around, people are still walking in, so he gets up quickly and comes over, shaking hands with my father, kissing my mum on the cheek before finally grabbing my hand and giving me a brief kiss, saying quietly "better stay put.... you look so beautiful" and he is goes back to his seat.

The service is lovely and moving. I wipe my eyes several times, grateful I wore waterproof mascara today

The tones from the organ follows us out as we exit quietly, row by row. Outside, the sun has come out and it is beautiful, although a bit cold. People swarm around my family, many wanting to greet my father and I say hi to several old colleagues. 

I look around, trying to see Lucas, but there are so many people out here right now. I feel a hand on my rear and then a breath "looking for me?". It is certainly not Lucas, but I know that voice, I whip around and throw my arms around him, David, Daniel's best friend "no, but it is great to see you".

He kisses my cheek "god to see you too, Brooke......you look stunning".

"Thank you......how are you? How's life treating you?".

"Great......and life is good, the gym is such a hit in Manchester....".

I smile "awesome......and Richard? Still with him I assume?".

He nods and grins "of course.....I'll never let that man go" and the looks at me "how about you? Anyone managed to steal your heart?".

"As a matter of fact yes" and I wave as I see Lucas come into view, when a group of people finally move "he is right here..." and I make the introductions as Lucas takes my hand, giving me a possessive kiss "Lucas.....please meet David West......he was Daniel's best friend growing up.....Daniel......Lucas North, my boyfriend".

They exchange pleasantries, but I can feel the tension in Lucas' arm. Luckily David's husband, Richard, joins us to say hi too. He gives me a tight hug, almost squealing "oh my god...Brooke! You look fabulous, darling" and he turns to Lucas, extending a hand and then pulling him into a hug too "oh you get a hug too, since you are her boyfriend" and he wiggles an eyebrow at me "my...my...you sure found the handsomest fella in London if you ask me".

I laugh "thank you, Richard...I feel pretty lucky" and Lucas blushes.

We talk a little more, before saying goodbye, after Lucas promises them to take care of me. He looks at me as they walk off, hand in hand "ehh....they were nice".

Kissing him softly, I nod "yes they are...but so are you" and I lean my head against his chest as he puts his arms around me "you ok?".

He kisses the top of my head and clears his throat "yeah....yeah....I'm fine....".

"You seemed tense....".

"I was....", pause, "I'll explain later" and he looks like he is thinking deep thoughts for a moment. We are interrupted by my parents asking if we need a ride, but Lucas assures them, he will take me to work.

We are soon on our way and pull into the hospital parking lot. I turn to kiss him goodbye, but he gets out of the car and comes around to open my door, holding out his hand. I look at him in confusion "I can walk to my office, Lucas....you don't have to take time....I know you have stuff to do at the Grid".

"I'm never too busy for you" and he leans in to kiss me, pulling me close. It turns into a deep, passionate kiss and we both look a bit flushed when we break apart. He smiles and takes my hand as we begin to walk.

I unlock my office and throw my clutch on the couch. I go to my closet to look for something less formal to wear and I take my hat off, putting it on the shelf and hanging up my coat. 

Lucas whistles "damn.....you wore that under the coat?" and he gives me an appreciative look as he locks the door, walking closer "what else are you wearing under there?".

"Wouldn't you like to know?" and I smirk.

He takes two more steps and pins me against the nearest wall, kissing me hard and growling "fuck yes" and he lets his hand travel up my leg, over my stocking and then pushing it under the hem of my dress. His fingers glide up my thigh and then his eyes go big and he shallows hard, his voice almost whimpering "ohh no you didn't..." and he gives me a heated kiss, his voice husky "thigh high stockings is one of my kinks".

Holding his face and caressing the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair, I lift an eyebrow "really?".

"Yes, really..." and he kisses my neck and then drops to his knees, playing with the hem of my dress, he looks up at me, pleading "can I see....please?".

Nodding, I hike up my skirt slowly, exposing my legs, thighs and the stockings, being held in place with a lacy, black garter belt. 

Lucas gulps, watching spellbound and then spreading both hands on my thighs, running his palms up my skin and tracing the lace with his fingers, before finally cupping my rear and he leans up to plant a kiss on the outside of my black panties. I close my eyes, feeling heat and wetness pool between my thighs, that slight kiss feels so sensual and I crave more. I grab his hair with one hand "please......more.....".

"Only if you take that dress off...let me see all of you.....".

I quickly untie the dress and pull it over my head and Lucas is on his feet, shedding his jacket, tossing it on the couch. He drinks me all in, standing against the wall in nothing my my lace bra, panties, stocking and heels. He is breathing hard and soon press me against the wall again, growling into my mouth "fuck you are gorgeous......and you are all mine". His hands are everywhere and there is something so sexy about me being almost naked and he is still dressed. 

He kisses my neck and then licks over my collarbone and down between my breasts and down to grab my rear as he presses himself against me, slowly rutting, his hard erection straining to get out of his dress pants. We devour each other and I moan when he moves his hands up to knead my breasts and then sucks a nipple through the thin fabric "ohhhh.....please, Lucas...".

Dropping to his knees again, he pulls my legs out a bit so his head is level with my crotch. He nips teasingly through my panties again, groaning when he moves a hand between my legs, feeling how wet the fabric is. Hooking a finger under the flimsy string, he pulls them down, off my legs, throwing them somewhere behind him. He looks at me and then presses his mouth to me as I gasp out.

It feels so good, his tongue working over my sensitive flesh, between my lips and he darts it inside my opening and then flattens it as he licks up and over my clit, several times. I whimper and grab his hair harder "yes...please.....more.....ohhhh",

I look down at him as he looks up, his eyes almost navy with arousal. He slowly moves my one leg, draping it over his shoulder and I brace myself against the wall and he sucks and lick me in earnest, making little grunting sounds. I'm a withering mess, grasping at his hair, whimpering "ohhhh.....yes....fuck.....more......ohhhh....close....please don't stop, please.....ohhhh".

He slides his hand up my thigh, spreading me more open and then pushes his index finger inside of me, my walls gripping him. I moan loudly "fuck yes......more....need more" and my body is tensing up. Sensing it, he works me over, stroking, petting and licking me, bringing me right to the edge. Then he quickly gets to his feet, kissing me hard while he undoes his pants in record speed, shoving them down on his thighs and lifts me up.

I'm caught by surprise, but grunt when I taste myself on his tongue and I yelp as he lifts me up, but wrap my legs around him by instinct. He looks between us, reaching down to adjust himself in place, pressing against my entrance and kisses me deeply to muffle our cries of pure pleasure as he penetrates me to the hilt in one fluid motion. 

Our hips meet and it feels fantastic, I love how long and thick he is, stretching me, but in a good way. We lock eyes for a second and then he starts to fuck me, snapping his hips, pounding hard, fast and needy. I hold on to his shoulders, my eyes rolling back in my heard and I bury my face in his shoulder, trying not to let the entire floor know what we are doing.

Lucas grunts and growls with every thrust, his voice low and needy, his breath huffy as he keeps pounding "fuck......shit.......ughhhh....Brooke......ohhh god.....feels so fucking good.... you belong to me..... shit....I need you.....fuck.....I..".

I adjust my hips, letting him in even deeper and that does it, my entire body releases and I climax hard, squeezing my walls around his throbbing cock and I bite his shoulder to prevent myself from screaming in total bliss. He feels me orgasm and it brings on his, he pushes as deep as he can two more times and then holds me firmly to him as he releases, coming hard with a deep moan "aghhhhhhhhh.......fuckkkkkkk" and his warm seed floods me in long spurts.

We just hold each other and he buries his face in my neck, exhaling and I slowly start to come back to reality, my breathing evening out. I caress his sweaty hair and kisses his ear, but he doesn't lift his head. I finally nudges him "hey....you ok?". He shakes his head, kissing my neck and then finally looks at me, his eyes very embarrassed, which totally takes me by surprised "hey....what's the matter?".

He looks around, realizing the couch is just a few feet away, so he takes hold of me and walks over there, very gently putting me down, slipping from me and lifting a finger "don't move". he hobbles to the bathroom with his pants still down, the sound of water running and he returns with a wet towel, his pants pulled back up, not yet buttoned. He kneels and very softly cleans me and the couch up, kissing me a few times, then tosses the towel back in the bathroom. 

Plopping down next to me, he pulls me close and sighs, rubbing his face "I'm sorry, Brooke......I rutted like a damn animal, I don't know what came over me".

I sit up, looking at him "what are you talking about? It was hot as fuck, Lucas......it was passionate and amazing".

He hesitates and then looks at me "it was ok.......you liked it?".

"Hell yes! Did it sound like I didn't like it?".

"Well no.....and you did cum...", his voice trails off "I just thought maybe it was too rough.......".

I climb into his lap, still only wearing my bra, garters and stockings and heels. I kiss him and then trace my finger over his jaw "it was amazing, I like it when you fuck me hard like that and yes, you did make me cum....hard".

We kiss and he runs his hands down my back and they settle on my rear, he groans "it felt really good for me......but.....".

"Care to tell me what is going on? You were tense earlier today........outside the church".

He nods "yeah...I really felt jealous......I watched as David came up to you and pinched your rear and you hugged him......I watched from across and I was about knocked to the ground with jealousy and rage".

"Well, you know I've got nothing he is interested in......he is not into bearded clams, even nicely trimmed ones...".

It takes him a second to get it, but then he starts to laugh and pulls me close, kissing me again "you are bad.......but yeah, I know that now, but I didn't know who he was and it just really surprised me how angry it made me".

"I'm sorry".

Shaking his head, Lucas reaches up to touch my face "no...please don't apologize, Brooke.....you didn't do anything.....nothing at all.......not your fault I am so deeply in love with you" and he pauses, before looking very serious, his voice soft "I love you.....".

My heart skips a beat when he says that and I break into a big smile, grabbing his face "I love you too, Lucas".

We meet in a heated kiss and when we break, he grins "and now you better get dressed or we will go for round two".

I giggle and then get off his lap, noticing the nice bulge and I lift an eyebrow "again?".

He just smirks "yes again........I told you, lingerie and those stockings......".

"Well, I will still be wearing them tonight...." and I find my panties, putting them back on and then reach for some dress pants and a blouse in my closet. I get dressed and he does his pants, straightening his shirt and trying to fix his hair in the bathroom. He comes back out and I hand him a water from the fridge "sorry about your hair".

Lucas pulls me into his arms, kissing me silly and rubbing his nose against mine "it was totally worth it........have a good day, I'll see you tonight".

We kiss and I nod "you too".

Pulling apart he goes to the door, switching the lock and he is about to walk out when he turns and looks at me "I love you, Brooke".

"I love you too, Lucas".

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No idea if anyone is still interested, but I finally got back to Lucas.......
> 
> To my Tumblr friend, my undying gratitude for all your ideas!

A couple of days later:

Things have calmed down at bit at the Grid. Christmas is just around the corner and they have wrapped a couple of cases and everyone is slowly breathing a sigh of relief, maybe they can all celebrate the holiday after all.

Lucas is researching on the computer, but when everyone leaves the main room for the minute, he tosses a piece of paper at Beth, the only one that stayed behind. He whispers "hey".

The paper hits her in the head and she looks up at him, raising an eyebrow "what?".

He leans closer "can I talk to you?".

"Yeah....sure....what's on your mind, Lucas".

Looking around, he motions to the conference room "not here......in there?".

She looks surprised "okay..." and gets up, following him in there, turning as he closes the door "what's going on? You are acting odd". He looks down at his shoes, takes a deep breath and then at her, blushing deeply, which she finds funny "what, Lucas? Come on.......spit it out!".

Clearing his throat, he pulls himself together "okay.....I need help.....I need to buy Brooke some clothes and I have no idea where to go".

"What? Any department store should do.......what kind of clothes does she like?".

More blushing and darting eyes, another deep inhale "ehhh.....like underwear......lingerie type of stuff".

Beth smiles big "ahhhh....that kind.....".

Lucas grins "yeah......".

"Okay......well, how much do you want to spend and how trashy do you need it to be? I mean...there are nice stores that sell expensive silk, lace type of stuff or stores that cater to more of the....uhm.....hooker kind of look, they also carry adult toys".

He turns a deep shade of pink "the nicer stuff....", then he adds quietly "would she like a toy?".

"I don't know....you are the one sleeping with her, would she?".

"Ehhhh, I don't know.......".

"Does she cum when you have sex? A lot of women will fake it....it's hard for us if you guys just put it in and rut like an animal".

Swallowing hard, remembering how I pulsed and contracted around him last night, riding him on the couch, he croaks "she does".

Beth slaps his shoulder "you are quite the lover, Lucas.....way to go".

"Well not much fun if your partner is not having a good time".

She rolls her eyes "wish you would shout that to the world of men out there".

He laughs "I doubt they will listen, but I hear you......so where do I go?".

Pulling out her phone from inside her bra, which causes Lucas to raise an eyebrow and Beth to just grin "did you think I kept it in my knickers?", she tabs on it, typing in something "ok...just sent you the link....there is a nice store in central London, down a side street, called *the Drawer*, they have very nice, exclusive stuff and even a room in the back with toys that are a bit more refined perhaps......nicer materials, doesn't look like your average plastic dick......my friend Malory works there, she will be more than happy to help you".

Lucas checks his phone "okay....thanks......I owe you".

"Just make sure you invite me to the wedding".

"Very funny, Beth....", but he does go quiet, daring to think about the future.

She picks up on it "would you marry her?".

The answer surprises himself a little as it spills from his mouth "yes..." and he looks at Beth, nodding "yes...I would....she is everything I never thought I would or could have....it was always too hard trying to explain what I do, my drive to do it, the danger....", he pauses for a second "but she gets it.......I don't have to make up stories or excuses....I can just be me", then he adds "maybe for the first time ever....".

Beth puts a hand on his arm "I'm really happy for you, Lucas......nobody deserves it more than you and she does seem like such a good person".

"She is......she has helped me so much......you know....with my past".

People start trickling back in to the Grid, so Lucas departs, but not before quickly leaning down to kiss Beth on the cheek "thank you".

She grins "anytime" and then she winks "do get her a toy.....".

He shakes his head, a faint blush creeping up on his face as he walks out. He grabs his jacket, announcing loudly "Well, I'm out for the day.......I still need to buy a few presents...see you tomorrow".

Tariq comes in, handing him a garment bag "this was just delivered, Lucas.....from one of the fancy department stores".

"Thank you, Tariq" and then continues as he realizes everyone is looking at him with curiosity "it's a tux......I rented it for some holiday charity thing Brooke asked me to come to tonight......she is going with her family........it's apparently a big deal", he furrows his brows "the Robbins Christmas social or something".

Ross whistles "wow.......Lucas, you are moving up in the world, that is one of the fanciest holiday parties in London.....lots of big, rich wigs there, donating to the homeless etc.".

Lucas makes a face "oh great....I' not into that kind of thing and I certainly don't have that kind of money". Not that he was hurting, he had actually gotten a lot of back pay for his years in prison, but money just was never important to him.

Ben slaps him on the shoulder "oh just go with your woman and eat some fancy finger food, drink some champagne and then maybe she will give you some of her own charity later" and he winks.

"Gee...thanks, Been".

"Anytime, mate" and Lucas hurries out of there with a final wave to everyone. He takes one of the company cars, hanging the bag on the hook by the back seat.

He quickly makes it into downtown London and finds a parking spot close to the address Beth gave him. He digs his hands deeper in his pockets, London in the winter is not exactly warm. He does observe as he walks on the streets, all the people hurrying about, trying to get their holiday lists done and he enjoys the special feeling this time of year. The Christmas lights, making the shops appear even more festive and bright. He use to love Christmas as a child, it was magical, but needless to say, his last 8 were less than festive. 

Pushing those gloomy memories away, he tries to focus on the here and now, feeling a deep sense of gratitude he will be able to celebrate Christmas in his home country. A country he wasn't so sure he would ever see again.

He turns down a side street, that is narrower and has smaller, more specialized shops. He passes a chocolate store and one that has a fancy display of hats in the windows. His eyes follow the numbers, and then come to rest of a red door. He looks at the window displays, rich fabrics and peacock feathers along with delicate looking lingerie. He looks around, out of habit, then takes a deep breath and grasps onto the door handle. Looking closer, he realizes his hand is currently around a handle, delicately formed like a woman's shapy leg, ending in a bright red shoe. The texture is fishnet stockings. He smiles, it surprises him, but also sort of delights him.

Stepping inside, the store is cozy, with luxurious looking wallpaper, fluffy, expensive looking chairs and a couple of gold guilded mirrors. The lingerie is hung on velvet display racks and shapely mannequins around the store. Several ladies are browsing, while sales women buzz around, eager to help, dressed in very classy looking black attire, either a pencil skirt or sleek slacks with a matching blouse. 

To his horror he realizes he is the only man in the store and stops in his tracks, fighting an internal war with himself about how to leave gracefully and calculating if he can order something online that will actually arrive before Christmas. 

"Lucas?". Too late.

He blinks and looks at the friendly looking woman in front of him, judging her to be slightly older than him, hair and makeup perfect. Her name tag, shaped like a bra, has *Malory* in scripted pink letters on it. He manage to stammer "ehhh...yeah".

She smiles and sticks out her hand, with classy, french manicured nails "I'm Malory.....Beth's friend.....she texted me that you might stop by".

Taking her hand, he does smile, she seems very warm "it's nice to meet you and yes, Beth gave me your address and name".

"I'm glad.......", she gestures around "so have anything particular in mind? Beth said it's for your stunning girlfriend" and Malory leans a little closer "Beth is very fond of her, which is something, because Beth either likes you or doesn't".

Lucas nods "true", then he glances around, feeling a bit overwhelmed "ehhh, I have no idea.....I haven't exactly shopped for anything like this in a long time.......actually never, so........".

"Okay....", she puts her hand on his arm "don't worry....I am sure we can find something for her.......what's her name? Do you have a picture by chance?".

"Brooke" and he eagerly pulls out his phone, finding a picture "that's her".

"She is gorgeous.....you lucky man".

His voice is quiet "yes.....I'm very lucky indeed" and he studies the picture for a second. He took it the other day, it was just me sitting on my couch, no makeup, just wearing an old t-shirt and my hair hanging loose.

"Any ideas of colors she likes?".

"Uhm......I think she would like whatever......what do you think?".

Malory looks at the picture again, then starts slowly walking the store, Lucas in tow. She stops at a rack with rich jewel toned lingerie, holding up an emerald green delicate lace bra "maybe something like this.....with matching panties?".

Lucas looks at the bra and then the scrap of lace Malory is showing that he guesses is the mentioned matching panties, he gulps and nods "those are nice".

"What size does she wear?". Lucas rattles it off and they continue looking around, until she is holding 3 matching sets of underwear. She turns to Lucas "does she wear stockings?".

He thinks back to the funeral and how he had discovered my garters and stockings "yes".

"Then maybe these sexy lace black ones will go with everything, huh?" and she shows him.

"Those are nice, but are they comfortable?".

"They actually are.......they are not scratchy like some can be".

"Okay, I'll take those too.......thank you".

She smiles at him "anything else?". Lucas' eyes darts to the velvet curtain in the back with the words *the fun room* above, in scripted letters. Malory follows his gaze "want to come have a look? Would she like a toy?".

He follows her, saying quietly "I don't know.....Beth suggested it" and he breathes a sigh of relief since the room is empty when they pull the curtain aside. It has the same feel as the other room, still luxurious and classy. The various toys are displayed on rich wooden dressers, draped in fine fabric. He looks totally lost and gives a sigh.

"Oh don't do that, Lucas.......I know it's a bit overwhelming, but I'm sure we can find something in here too, that you will both enjoy".

"Okay", but he doesn't sound convinced as he eyes roam over various shaped objects and bottles.

"Does she have a toy already?".

"I don't know.......ehh, we haven't seen each other for very long.....I".

"It's okay.......but does she climax when you are together?".

He croaks "yes".

Malory smiles "that's good....." and she walks over to the corner, taking a bright pink elongated piece in her hand "maybe this" and she shows it to him, holding it out "here...you can touch it". Lucas takes it in his hand, feeling the soft silicone and then looks at her with questioning eyes. She touches the fatter end of it "it's a vibrator......a bit like the egg, but a lot of women like this one better because it is longer, without looking like a penis, but it can still be used to stimulate internally or just the opening of the vagina, which a lot of women find very pleasurable.........and their partner likes it too, because it is honestly easier to hold on to and use for them as well".

Lucas is trying to block out images of me using it or the ideas of him using it on me and manages to speak "I'll take it".

"It does come in other colors.....black, purple....but I like the pink and oh, it glows in the dark as well, so you can find it".

"The pink is great".

"Wonderful.." and she opens one of the drawers, pulling out an expensive looking box and putting the display one back. "Is that all, Lucas?".

He nods "yes and thank you so much.....you've really helped me a lot".

"I'm glad to help you........Beth is one of my dearest friends and I love when she sends people my way".

"She is pretty great".

Malory nods and they make their way back out to the main room and over to the cash register, a sleek looking black laquer counter. She puts his stuff on there "you did get some very beautiful things, Lucas.....I hope Brooke loves them and if not, you can return them within 2 weeks".

"I thinks she will" and he reaches for his wallet.

"I assume you need them wrapped as a gift?".

"Yes, please".

"In one box or separate boxes?".

"One will be fine........thank you so much".

She smiles "oh that's almost my favorite part......putting all the pretty things in a gorgeous gift to give". She finds a fancy looking shiny, black, old fashioned hat box, opens it and carefully places the pieces of lingerie inside, wrapped in soft pink tissue papers. She puts the lid back on and pulls the build silky ribbons in rich pink that also functions as the handle. She ties a gift tag on there, shaped like her name tag, a bra. Then she wraps the toy in black, shiny paper, putting a pink, silky ribbon around it and finishing it with another gift tag. She reaches for a black bag, placing both items in it and sets it on the counter "all set".

"That's very nice.....thank you" and Lucas hands her his bank card, not even flinching when she announces the total. He thanks her again and is soon on his way home or rather, on the way to my place. 

He calls me from the car, and I finally pick up on the 5th ring "Brooke speaking".

"Hi, love....it's me".

"Lucas......sorry didn't even looked at who was ringing me.....I'm trying to get ready.....are you on your way?".

"Yes, I'm sorry.....are we running late?".

"No...no......my Mum and Dad wont be here for another 45 minutes, but I took a shower, needed to set my hair, etc. I do need you to come zip up my dress".

He is swinging into the parking garage, punching the the code "I'll be up in 3 minutes, love" and we disconnect.

I'm standing in the bathroom, just in my underwear. I just applied a little makeup and did my hair. It is up in the back, being held by a crystal clip and I'm wearing some rather fancy, antique looking earrings. They were a gift from my now departed grandmother and I rarely get to wear them. They sparkle like mad under the harsh bathroom lighting.

I hear the door click and Lucas calling out "I'm home".

"Bathroom" I call back.

Fast footsteps and then he sticks his head in, grinning when he sees my current attire. He comes over and wraps me in his arms from behind, kissing my neck and I snuggle into him for a second and then turn my head to kiss him on the lips "hey".

"Hey yourself" and he looks at us in the mirror, nuzzling my neck "you look stunning, love" and he has a naughty look in his eyes.

I shake my head "don't even think about it Mr. North......I just spend 20 minutes on my hair and we don't have time".

He kisses my neck and runs his hands down my flanks, resting them on my hips "I bet we could do it without messing your hair up", then sees my warning look and lets out a laugh, gently slapping my rear as he lets go of me "I'm teasing.....I know we don't have time.....I need to get in that bloody penguin outfit".

"Lucas" I yelp and then giggle as he walks back in the bedroom.

Still talking to me, I can hear him remove his clothes, likely throwing it all in a pile on the floor "so how was your day?". I walk in the bedroom and open the door to the closet, stopping to admire him as he stands there in nothing but his black boxer briefs. He notices "see something you like?".

I walk over to him, leaning up to kiss him on the mouth, running my hand over his chest and stomach, then down to gently cup his bulge "oh yes, I like very much".

He groans and pushes into my hand "we don't have time".

Squeezing him a bit, feeling him pulse under my fingers, we kiss again and I let him go "we don't, but maybe later?".

"Oh most definitely later" and he unzips the garment back, pulling out the tux and starts to put it on.

I reach for the dress on the hanger in the walk in closet, its a long flowing number in layers of chiffon, ruby red with a very elegant neckline. I step in it and then come out "can you zip it up please?". Lucas stares and I get nervous "what's wrong?".

"Nothing" and he comes closer, finishing his tux shirt buttons "nothing at all, love......you just look stunning......that dress".

"Thank you.....it's an old one.....I don't normally wear stuff like this......".

He carefully zips it up and then takes my hand, standing back "wow".

We exchange a kiss and then finish getting ready. I grab a matching clutch and Lucas makes sure his phone is tucked in an inside pocket, because he is never really not on duty when it comes down to it. I know it is just part of his job and who he is really.

My parent soon announces they are on their way and we meet them on the curb and jump in their car. My Mum turns to us "you both look stunning".

"Thanks, Mum" and my Dad mumbles his approval as he looks at us in the rear view mirror.

We quickly make it to a very nice, old neighborhood of London and pull into a gated property, where my Dad gives his name to the guard and we are let through. Lucas reaches for my hand and he looks out as we make it up the driveway and into a stunning estate, a big, lighted courtyard greets us, decorated for the holidays. Our eyes meet and he gulps "this is fancy". 

My Dad turns in his seat "it is, but the Robbins are the nicest people you will ever meet and they love hosting it". We all exit, him handing the keys to a attendant and we all walk up to the rich wooden door and are welcomed by Lord and Lady Robbins. 

Lucas's eyes are everywhere, this home is decorated so beautifully and it brings back memories of his childhood and what Christmas really was about. He is holding my hand as we make our way into the grand atrium, a giant Christmas tree takes up one corner along with a white baby grand piano. Chairs and small tables are set up throughout the room and along one side is a very long table, filled with all kinds of tasty goodies and a full bar at the end. Waiters are mingling too, holding trays of sparkling drinks and finger foods. 

We follow my parents and they make the rounds, saying hello to several of their friends and others. Lucas whispers in my ear "I can't remember all these bloody peoples names".

I laugh, squeezing his hand "it's alright...neither can I".

This is a charity party, so off to one side, is another room, lined with tables with a display of various items up for a silent auction. We walk through it and my parents bid on a few things. Lucas' eyes about bulge out when he sees some of the bids, whispering "bloody hell".

"I know, but these people can afford it".

"Oh I don't doubt it".

We walk back into the main room and Lucas offers to go get us drinks. I visit with my parents, watching him make it way over to the bar. He looks so handsome in that tux, he shows off his well build physique.

Lucas tells the bartender what he wants, when a very familiar voice enters his ear "she made you ware a penguin suit too, huh?". He turns and sees Harry Pierce's tall figure standing there, a small smile on his face "Harry....what are you doing here?".

"I should ask you the same, but we already saw Sir Cunningham and Brooke and her mother, so we figured you were here too.....", he takes a breath "and as for me.....well, it's one of those things that comes with this bloody job, you get invited to all these fancy things".

"Who are we?" and Lucas looks around, finding me and my parents in the crowd and seeing Ruth Evershed talking to them. He turns back to Harry "ahhhh".

Harry shrugs "well.....I think it is more an open secret than anything.......Ruth and I".

Lucas smiles "it is", then gets serious "but I think we are just all bloody happy for you both".

"Thanks".

They both get their drinks, heading back to us and we stand and mingle for a little while, then make our way over to the food table, each taking a plate and going down the buffet line, filling it up with all kinds of delicious things. We find a table and all sit down, enjoying our tasty treats and visiting. Harry and my Dad are talking up a storm, including Lucas in the conversation, so us ladies visit among ourselves.

Ruth looks at me, Lucas's arm resting casually on the back of my chair "I'm so happy for you.....for both of you".

"Thank you, it's good" and I glance at Lucas "it's very good".

"Well, you both deserve it so much".

"So you do you and Harry, Ruth".

"Thanks..".

Dessert is soon announced, so we trot up for a second round and the waiters come around, offering coffee, tea or drinks. Harry and my Dad order whiskey, but everyone else sticks with coffee or tea for the evening. Lucas leans over, kissing my cheek and pointing to my plate "those little chocolate mousse things are to die for" and he grins.

I'm about to say something else, but Lady Robbins comes over, asking if we are having an enjoyable evening and then she looks at me "ready?". I nod and push out my chair, my eyes meeting Lucas's very confused ones for a moment. I bend down to kiss him briefly on the lips "I'll be right back".

He follows me with his eyes as I walk to the Christmas tree and the piano, then turns to my parents, questions in his eyes. My Dad lifts an eyebrow "Brooke didn't tell you?".

Shaking his head, Lucas looks confused "tell me what?".

My Mom touches my Dad hand "I think maybe she wanted it to be a surprised, dear".

"Ohhh" and he smiles at Lucas.

Lucas turns to Harry "do you know what's going on?".

Harry smiles knowingly and Ruth looks at Lucas "you are in for quite a treat......" and they all turn their attention to the corner as Lady Robbins starts playing the piano, rich tones filling the room and I stand next to it, take a deep breath and start to sing. We do several classic Christmas songs and I immerse myself in the music. 

I look out in the crowd as Lady Robbins plays the intro to *Silent Night* and I find Lucas, his eyes are fixed on me and if I am not mistaken, he looks emotional and I see Harry place a comforting hand on his shoulder. I pour my heart into the song and when it ends, we are received by a standing ovation. I hug Lady Robbins "thank you.....that was wonderful".

She holds me for a second, then looks me in the eyes "thank you, Brooke....I always love to perform with you".

Lucas stands up with everyone else, totally spellbound and then wipes a couple of tears from his face with his hand. Ruth looks at him "she is marvelous, isn't she?".

He nods, his voice still emotional "I had no idea.......that voice......".

Harry chimes in "like an angel......we know......the first time you hear her, you can barely believe your ears"

I walk back towards the table, receiving praise and thanks along the way. My parents hug me, saying in unison "thank you.....".

Ruth and Harry hug me too, expressing their appreciation, then they walk over to visit with a few of their other friends, along with my parents, which leaves Lucas and I alone at the table.

We look at each other and I give him a shy smile. He grins, then steps up to me, enveloping me in his arms and he hugs me tight, kissing my ear "bloody hell, Brooke......why didn't you tell me?". I start to laugh when he says that and we pull apart, look at each other and then he lowers his face to kiss me softly on the lips "that was so beautiful".

I can tell he is emotional, I cup his face "are you ok?".

"Yeah, I'm fine........but you made me cry", then he quickly adds when I look distressed "in a good way.....like I've never experienced anything like it.....I was very moved" and he kisses me again "thank you".

Leaning against him, I enjoy just being close to him "you're welcome".

 

An hour later:

I'm looking up at Lucas as he moves slowly over me. My legs are around his hips and our hands are laced together on either side of my head. Our eyes are locked, trying to convey our feelings as he makes love to me.

Our clothes are thrown hastily on the chair and dresser in the corner of my bedroom. My parents drove us home and Lucas pinned me against the wall of the elevator as soon as the doors closed behind us. He ran his hand up my back, kissed me deeply, his tongue wrapping around mine and told me how sexy I looked and how much he loved to hear me sing.

As soon as we were in the apartment, I took his hand and led him to the bedroom and we proceeded to undress each other quickly.

So that is how we ended up here. He thrust slow and deep, watching me and leans down to kiss me ever so often. I love the feeling of his hard length deep inside of me and I squeeze my internal muscles around him, again and again.

He groans "fuuuck.......ughhhh that feels good".

I arch my back and moan out "harder, Lucas.......please........ohhhhh, right there..........fuck....please don't stop, ohhh please don't stop".

His biceps bulge as he is holding most of his weight on his arms and he moves a little faster, watching me and trying to pick up on signals from me that I might be close to climax. He pants "Brooke" and sweat springs on his forehead as he continues to thrust into me with his hard cock.

I concentrate of feeling him and tightening my muscles as he slides in, the pressure building and my entire body tenses up and then releases. I throw my head back "ohhh yes, yessss...yessssss ohhhh god.............ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" and I convulse around him, gripping him, milking him.

Lucas feels my orgasms and it triggers his own, pleasure thunders down his spine and he cums with a shout "FUUUUUUUUUCKKKKK", pulsing hot inside of me, over and over. He collapses, letting go of my hands and I wrap him in my arms as we enjoy the last spasms of climax together.

We just breathe for a long moment, relishing in what we just shared and I run my hands down his sweaty back. He finally lifts his head and our eyes meet. I move a strand of hair out of his face, running my hand over his cheek "I love you".

"I love you more, Brooke" and he kisses me tenderly.

It takes a while, but we finally separate, he carefully slips from me, reaching for a towel in the nightstand and cleans us both up, before we settle in for the night. He holds me close, spooning me, our hands intertwined together and we drifts off to sleep.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always welcome!


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